Giving Up and Giving In
by TheQuietMachine
Summary: AU Kagura was the campus bet and Sesshomaru won. He left without looking back and she had his son. An accidental meeting brought them together, but can their son's kidnapping give them another shot? Or will they lose him forever? Pseudo and past Sess/Kagu
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

The sex, she had to admit, had been fantastic. Wild, passionate, erotic; there weren't enough words to describe what they had achieved. The night had passed in kisses, licks, nips, and touches, mostly a blur of the straight shots of pleasure she had recieved. He was the best she had ever had, though it was not saying much. She had only had sex a few times before, finding it generally unappealling with the bed partners she had ended up choosing.

As she lay in an empty bed with nothing but the memory of the night before, Kagura realized something that she had missed in her blind and impulsive passions. It was not he who was the conquest; it was she. She was sought after to be brought down and he had succeeded. The fact of the matter was that she had been played, and even though she should have been furious as her inherent nature demanded, she couldn't find it within herself to be as such. Nothing more than the inevitable had happened, and the only anger she could find was directed at herself for not seeing it long before her humiliation was complete.

In her hand was a note, written in his flowing and elegant script, telling her of his enjoyment of the night previous. Shallow pride had welled in her breast as she read the words, he having admitted to her being the best he had sampled as well. Now it was only an empty condolence to her shattered pride, an ineffective one at that. With an almost limp hand, she closed her fist about the note, crumpling the physical expression of her emotional wounds. The only words left visible were at the very bottom, a post script written in a somewhat hasty manner, as though she had almost awoken even as he wrote.

'_The money for your cab fare and tip are on the bedside table. I expect you to be out of my house before I return or I shall alert the police. Never try to inject yourself into my life or interact with me in any way. You are but a lowly and inconsequential conquest._' The words burned her soul, branded her in a hateful intent with their meaning. Her eyes drifted towards the note as it lay clenched in her hand, the words written there forever seared into her memory. As she gazed at it with glazed and distant eyes, a slight wind picked up in the room, slipping the paper from her grasp. Her once fiery and vibrant red eyes followed it, too weak to turn her head in her misery. It flitted about in her line of sight for a few moments before being torn to shreds by the angry winds that circled the room. The torn pieces were thrashed about the room, ripped into ever smaller pieces by the jaded winds.

As Kagura watched her powers act out on their own, she realized that she would have to get up and leave in a timely manner. It was almost noon time and while she wasn't expected into work that day, there was still work to be done in her own home and a life to be lived outside of the relationship she had thought she had.

Sighing, she forced herself to sit up in the all at once foreign and familiar bed, calming the winds that had kicked up with her lack of control over them. What was left of the note floated in lazy spirals to the floor, her anger tamed and once more put under lock and key in the darkest corners of her mind. There was nothing but painful, blissful emptiness within her mind and soon enough, she didn't know how she found herself standing outside the gates that lead to his lavish home.

Pausing her slow and steady steps away, Kagura allowed herself one last peek just over the top of her shoulder at what could have been. Her eyes trailed up the faux inviting exterior all the way to the upper-most floor, where a single window looked down upon the grounds. She knew it to be Sesshomaru's room, having enjoyed the view only moments before he had stolen her away into a land of what seemed to be unending pleasure.

Pain flashed through her ruby orbs as the night before played one last time in her mind's eye before she turned away and continued her trek that lead her far from where she wished to be.

* * *

Kagura couldn't bring herself to rise from the cold, comforting sheets of her bed. While she had been attending her classes in good faith as she was expected to by her father, the subjects that she had once listened to with rapt attention and studied with an all together inhuman vigor had lost the shine they had held only two months before. She knew why they had lost her interest but she could not bring herself to acknowledge it. Her still fierce and independent spirit refused to contemplate the possibility that she had become reliant on another person, let alone a man, for happiness.

The mid-morning light streamed through her half way shut blinds and fell just short of her dulled and inattentive ruby orbs. She knew that with a few more minutes, the light would brighten her eyes through reflection, but she doubted whether they would brighten of their own accord anymore. There was just too little reason for her them to shine like they once had, before and during her time with him.

Cursing herself in a whisper and with no inflection whatsoever, Kagura wished she could find and regain the drive she had lost to the cold man she thought she knew. Unbidden, however, a surge of nausea that was determined to become more than familiar rose in her gut and spurred her to a quick reaction or suffer cleaning vomit from her sheets. As was becoming usual, she was only just able to make the swift journey to her bathroom in time to contain her retch.

The sick sound of her own bodily fluids hitting the water and bowl was enough to incur another round, never mind the smell that came with it. Panting, she narrowed her eyes into a pathetic excuse for a glare at the pinkish, floating mass that sat within the confines of her toilet. At the back of her mind, Kagura thanked her father for forcing her to have the stomach of steel that she did, pushing off the toilet and stumbling to the sink as she did.

"When will this damned retching stop?" She mused to herself aloud, twisting the elegant knobs to begin the flow of cool, crystal water. Sighing, she cupped a handful of the water to her mouth to swish before spitting out the contaminated water into the sink once more. Her mouth twisted into a weak sneer as she watched it slither down the sides of the sink before she opened her cabinet mirror for antacid pills.

Kagura's hand froze when her eyes landed on something much neglected within her cabinet. A cheerful box of tampons stared back at her, making a mockery of the intelligent woman she thought herself. Her immediate thought was to recall the last time the annoyance she hated to call her period had visited her with its malicious intent. Her thoughts raced as she realized that she could only remember having her period a week before her liaison with Sesshomaru.

Paling, she cursed herself for not realizing earlier that, not only had she missed her period twice, but she was having morning sickness; an obvious side effect of being pregnant. Her first thought was to call Sesshomaru, begging for his assistance in the matter. That thought was quickly banished however, as Kagura recognized that not only would her pride be forever crippled by the blow, but he would have nothing to do with her. He had made that _explicitly_ clear in the note that still gave her tantalizing nightmares.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it..." She muttered, a renewed vigor impressed into her body as she bustled about her apartment, throwing on the first garments she grabbed. It wasn't like her to be so unconcerned with her appearance, but her mind was far from what tedious garb she was wearing. The thought first and foremost in her mind was to get a pregnancy test as quick as she could. She was out the door and on her way to the local pharmacy within minutes of her revelation.

* * *

Staring at herself in the mirror, Kagura examined her features with a critical eye. She wanted desperately to know if she could continue to attend school and family functions without drawing attention to herself. There was a growing paranoia that the bump in her stomach was swelling, but she knew that it was still easily written off. It could easily be passed off for slight weight gain. Pressing a hand to her cheek, she examined what the doctor had called the 'pregnancy glow'; the sheen of oil that made her face shine. Nothing the excuse of a period couldn't cover for. For her sixteenth week of pregnancy, she didn't think she looked so bad.

Still, there was a lingering feeling that she couldn't get rid of. In the back of her mind, she knew the feeling, but she refused to acknowledge it. The feeling that she was clear as glass and everyone could see what she was hiding was prevalent. She couldn't acknowledge the feeling, register it even, because her father was visiting. He was a shrewd business men and had sniffed out more than a few people after his money and position. It was those same skills that worried Kagura that she would be a mere window for him to gaze into.

Distress pushed her features into a frown, but she strode from her bathroom anyway. A glance at the clock on her bedside warned her of his eminent coming. She had just under twenty minutes to prepare herself and a tight story for his arrival, explaining her weight gain and sheen with as few loopholes as was possible. Settling onto her couch with a once cold glass of cheap wine, she wished herself all the luck in the world before trying to come up with a suitable story in so short an amount of time.

To her own fear and extreme panic, her fabricating time was cut when the ominous sound of her doorbell ringing reached her ears. For an instant, she froze in place, not wanting to believe what she had heard. However, with a second ringing of the bell, she was brought to her senses and a truly inappropriate thought flooded her mind as she scrambled to answer the door.

'Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, for the bell tolls for thee.' Rang through her head with a third ringing of her doorbell and her arrival in front of the door. Smoothing out her appearance as best she could, Kagura managed to look as though she retained some semblance of decency before she reached to turn the knob and invite her guest in.

"Naraku! Daddy, how long has it been?" She put on her best smile as she ushered in her father, noting with no small amount of worry the calculating look he had on his closed face. While she hated to admit it, his shrewd personality had been passed on to her and they often caught onto each others' plots.

"Kagura..." His greeting was wary, as though he suspected something and she forced herself not to panic. In the back of her mind, she knew that they always greeted each other with mistrust and she was arousing suspicion with her warm greeting. She hadn't called him 'Daddy' since well before she started middle school.

"So why did you call this meeting?" Immediately, she cut to her normal cold and stand-offish demeanor, seeing some of his suspicions abate as she did. He was still watching her though; she would have to walk on eggshells until one of them retreated first. "To tell me you still love me?" Both shared a unanimous snort at that, glancing askance at the other before crossing their arms. Their similarities often scared them more than they cared to admit.

"No." Was his sardonic reply with a customary roll of his eyes. "I'm here to ask you about something... important." Kagura froze for all of half a moment, but it was all Naraku needed to confirm his suspicions. "You _are_ pregnant." Her glare was cold and cutting as it sliced its way through the thick tension.

"What's it to you?" Her tone dripped acid, all manner of caustic remarks flitting on her tongue, ready to use as a rebuke.

"Nothing," he scoffed, examining his well-kept nails, "but what is of concern to me is whom the father is." A piercing glance towards his eldest child told her that lying to him would not be fortuitous. She frowned, biting back a snarl at her situation. After growing up in her father's business world, she knew that the father of her child was far from the best choice. Sesshomaru was a rival company to her father and any relations with the enemy was considered betrayal among the family. There was no doubt in her mind that she had fucked up; she just didn't know how bad.

Tense silence stretched between the two already strained family members, both eying the other with healthy amounts of wariness. They had fought together physically before and both come out with severe battle scars and a good, if grudging, amount of respect for the other. Their tumultuous truce had lasted quite a few years but Kagura was sure it would be broken with her actions.

"I want a deal worked out." She knew she was in deep shit, but she wanted to walk away with as much pride, and money, to her name as possible. It would be difficult with Naraku calling the shots, but their minds worked the same way.

"Then what Kanna said is true." Kagura scowled, remembering back to the night she had broken down to her younger sister with her worries about supporting her child. She may have been pro-choice, but for some odd reason, she wanted to keep her child. "Sesshomaru is the father." Putting on a brave face and fighting back a wince, Kagura stared her father dead in the eye, daring him to judge her in her choice of bed partners. He said nothing, merely eying his eldest with more disdain than was usual for them and taking a step backward.

"I still want my deal." She said, her tone carrying what she hoped was a firm and unrelenting note. From the look on Naraku's face, however, it was clear that she had to work on perfecting a business voice.

"You are disowned the moment I can get my hands on the proper paperwork." He said, his voice a smooth velvet that she knew better than to acknowledge without fear. "All your assets will be liquidated and your funds withdrawn to be replaced back into the company. There will be no further association between you or any of the family directly related to me, is that clear?" Shuddering, Kagura had more than enough smarts to know when to put in a defeat. Her head bowed, but her eyes blazing, she forced her voice to remain as calm as she could make it under the circumstances.

"Of course, fa-... Naraku." She could _feel_ his smug gaze on her and it took all her self-control not to assault him right then and there. However, _she_ was no longer family and as such, no longer privy to the privilege of being able to attack him and deal only with him. There would be the consequences of facing off with his burly guards if she wanted her retribution to take that turn.

"I'm glad we've come to an... _understanding_ Kagura. Good day." He turned and moved to leave the same way he had entered but paused to spare a malicious smirk over his shoulder. "Oh, and you have thirty days to move out before the police will _forcibly_ move you." She waited until her acute hearing picked up on his Rolls-Royce driving away in a roar before letting her powers spin out of her control, wreaking havoc on the once neat and tidy room.

* * *

Sitting in the parking lot of a chain mall, Kagura could have sworn she had never felt so indecisive in her life. Naraku had drilled it into his children to make split-second decisions, never hesitating or faltering. It was a weakness that the enemies would exploit ruthlessly. Resting her head on the wheel, she vaguely wondered what enemies her former father had been talking about.

"He was a paranoid nutcase." She muttered, lifting her head. "I am not. Be rational about this Kagura. No one is going to kill you for going into a baby store." That determined thought in mind, she exited her car with her head held high, stomach bulging with the roundness of seven months. Purse in hand and deal-minded, Kagura felt ready to take on the world as a pregnant woman.

Her most comfortable pair of shoes squeaked against the linoleum floor as she entered the mall. The blast of air conditioning made her shiver, instinctively wrapping an arm around her bloated stomach. Not letting the chill slow her down, she kept her brisk pace toward where she knew the Baby's-4-All store was. Turning the corner, the pastel colored sign came into clear view and her feet came to an abrupt stop.

Ruby eyes looked on in trepidation as they drank in the cheerful store. Women with a range of stomach sizes browsed the aisles, visible through the large glass window. All of the women had something in common however; something Kagura noticed in sharp clarity that she was missing. Every pregnant woman in the store had a support system standing near her, helping, giggling, and hugging whenever was necessary. Her thoughts flashed to Sesshomaru and how he should have been there with her before she forcibly shut down that train of thought.

"Forget about him." She muttered under her breath as she took a tentative step towards Baby's-4-All. "Right now, focus on getting into that store for baby and you." Breathing in deeply to steady herself, she walked at a brisk pace towards the store, trying to get there before her resolve crumbled and she fled. Before she knew it, she found herself surrounded by a multitude of pastels and her fellow pregnant women. Human and demon alike shopped around her, and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

The comforting smell of pregnancy assaulted her; a smell unique to each woman, but that blended to make something altogether soothing and calming.

Opening her eyes, Kagura found her nerves far more settled than before and settled in to browse the aisles. Blankets, clothes, toys, cribs, strollers, and all manner of baby things called out to her from their shelves. The thing that caught her eye the most was a blanket.

Sitting with the baby rock star display was a shimmery, silvery blanket that positively screamed her name. Her legs carried her swiftly towards it, and she snatched it up, rubbing it against her cheek. It was soft, probably one of the softest things she had ever felt. Pulling it away to scrutinize, a disheartening revelation came to her.

It was the exact shade of Sesshomaru's hair and just short of being as soft. It drifted between her hands as she fought back tears, shining as it floated down towards the floor. Kagura gritted her teeth against the onslaught, having learned long ago that she would not cry; _could_ not cry.

"Ma'am?" Kagura flinched as a kind voice carried to her ears. "Do you need help with anything?" She blinked furiously to rid herself of the look of tears before turning to face the sales associate who had come up behind her.

The woman was a demoness with a kind face and calming aura. From the tranquil expression and blue hair, Kagura guessed she was a water sprite. They always were the type to mother.

"No, but thank you." Kagura answered in as steady a voice as she could manage. "I just got a little sentimental is all." The demoness smiled, understanding sparkling in her clear blue eyes.

"Don't worry, it happens to a lot of women." She soothed, leaning down to pick up the blanket at Kagura's feet. "I think you dropped this." Without a word, Kagura took the blanket, trying to hide the shaking of her hands as she did. She avoided looking at it as best she could. Her eyes instead zoomed in on the demoness's name tag. Aiko was printed in a cheerful blue and pink font.

"If you need anything else, just come find me." Aiko said at length, smiling once more. Kagura nodded before Aiko turned and disappeared down the aisle. Her feet were rooted to the spot, her hands clenched into tight fists around the silky fabric. Her traitorous imagination could almost make her believe it was the silken brush of Sesshomaru's hair between her fingers.

Mechanically, she drifted towards the cashier, suddenly no longer in the mood to shop for baby things. Paying for the blanket, Kagura barely made it to her car and shabby new apartment through her haze. As she pulled out the blanket, her control slipped and the apartment was reduced to a jumbled mess. Only the blanket stayed perfectly clean.

* * *

In the birthing room, the winds screamed their fury along with their mistress, whipping up anything that wasn't grasped, tied, or fastened to or by something unbreakable. Despite being the special wing of the hospital reserved specially for demons, Kagura felt all together very human as one of the doctors exclaimed that her baby was crowning. Over the rush of the winds, she had to strain to hear the harried order to stop pushing. Despite the fact that her body wanted to continue to do so, Kagura let herself fall limp, clutching the quite bent metal railing of the bed she occupied.

She heard the whispers of the nurses despite the howling of the winds, her intangible servants enhancing the whispers until they were shouts reverberating throughout her pounding ears. It was an un-mated birth, a shame upon her family; if she had a family that is. A grudging respect for Naraku dredged itself from the very pits of her being for having foreseen the backlash of an un-mated birth. He didn't want that kind of scandal on the family and thus rightly disowned her. The all-business part of Kagura could see the sense in his frosty actions.

Pain wracked her body once more and she could hear more demands to push. She did with all her might, wanting her pregnancy to be over so she could be out of her miserable pain. For hours the alternating pain and relaxation continued, her baby refusing to come from the warmth and shelter provided by his exhausted mother's uterus. Kagura was almost tempted to reach down and rip him from her body herself, but refrained.

As her doctor had informed her as she went on her tenth month of pregnancy, she was more than likely to give birth to a Taiyoukai. As an infant and child, a Taiyoukai was more delicate than most demons and needed more time in the womb to prepare for the outside world. She had known her pregnancy would be long and arduous, but she could kick herself for not having consented to the cesarian the instant the option had been present. Despite her current anger, the rational part of her mind whispered that she would be proud that she birthed a Taiyoukai without the constant support of a mate.

'_Not that Sesshomaru would have made the most supportive of mates..._' drawled the sarcastic, and yet still truthful, side of her. The image of Sesshomaru even so much as changing his expression at her screams made her burst into hysterical laughter. It was cut short, however, as the largest burst of pain yet hit with enough intensity to steal her breath.

"You're almost there Kagura-san! Push!" And she did. With all the strength remaining in her long past exhausted body, Kagura pushed. With a squelch she wished she would never have to hear again, the child she had been carrying for close to a year was passed from her body and into the waiting hands of the doctor. Tired, sore, and more than ready to pass out, Kagura fell into a semi-conscious state of mind, only just picking up on the distress of those around her. As she heard their whispers, the mothering part of her she didn't know existed screeched at her to have her baby in her arms.

"My... baby," she panted, opening her eyes to a half lidded state, "I need to see... my baby!" The winds kicked for a moment, emphasizing what her weakened voice could not as the nurses and doctors fluttered about in a frantic dance against time.

Ruby eyes darting about the room, Kagura's sight fell upon the baby boy she had birthed. She had seen the births of all of her siblings and thus knew what a newborn was supposed to look like. All the blood drained from her face as she registered that a newborn was not supposed to look like what her precious baby did.

Her baby was swept from her sight once more and the realization that she could lose her child hit her. She could lose her baby; _Sesshomaru's_ baby. In that moment, she began to do something she had long ago thought she lost the ability to do. In the middle of a birthing room and in the face of losing her first child, Himura Kagura broke down crying, sobbing into her hands, frail from the energy taken by giving birth.

* * *

_A/N- _I don't own Inuyasha. That extends to all of this story, so I don't have to keep writing it.

This has been brewing for a while and I'm halfway through the first chapter. That, however, is no indication of how soon it will be out. It will probably take a while, factoring in school and all. I will try to get it out asap though. Again, no promises, but we can all hope.

Deux Ex Machina


	2. Fight or Flight

**Chapter One**

Sitting at her kitchen table, Kagura struggled to stay awake. She wondered once more why she had agreed to take the over-time, despite knowing it would give her but an hour of sleep. A weak hand allowed her to nurse the still steaming black coffee, sipping the bitter drink in hopes of staying awake.

"Good morning Ama!" Kagura had little warning before she was subject to a graceless fall to the floor. Much to her relief, she had let go of her coffee only seconds before she was tackled. Despite the throbbing pain in her hip, a smile flitted onto Kagura's face. She peeked open her eyes to find her son sitting atop her with a smug smile on his face that reminded her all too much of his father.

"Morning to you too Kisekimaru." She said, pushing the seven year old Taiyoukai off her hip and sitting up. "Although, can you find a less painful way to say your greetings?" Kisekimaru played with a small wind ball as he waited for his mother to heave herself off the floor, ignoring her question just like he did every morning. As a Taiyoukai, he had to keep all promises he made and that was one he didn't want to have to keep.

Rolling her eyes at her son's stubbornness, Kagura pushed herself off the floor and began to make breakfast for the two of them. Kisekimaru settled himself in the seat she had vacated and continued to play with his wind ball, a few bursts escaping it in his lack of control. Still, Kagura was more than proud of her son for being able to control his powers as he did. The combination of demonic heritage seemed to do wonders for his control and advancement, one of the few things Kagura was thankful to Sesshomaru for. There were days when she was sure she would unravel were it not for the fact that Kisekimaru was able to control himself so well.

A quick glance at the clock told her they were close to being late, so she packed their breakfast to go. When she glanced back at her son, she saw that he was dressed and ready to attend his classes, his uniform pressed and clean. A bemused expression on her face, she wondered just how long she had worked to keep it so nice, considering the state of their money and her jobs. It was by far more hours than she had been sleeping, to be sure.

"Ready to go?" With a nod, he hopped off the stool and accepted his toast without a word. Kagura often worried about his ability to speak, but tried to ignore it, attributing it to the similar silence of his father. The Inu genes were strong, that much was obvious, as there was little resemblence between her and her son, save the glowing red eyes, wind manipulations, and fiery temper they shared. The latent was hard pressed to come out though, having Sesshomaru's long-standing patience.

In silence, the pair left their rather run-down apartment and headed towards his school on foot, being close enough that a car was unnecessary. Kagura had never mentioned the fact that they lacked the money to buy one to her son, preferring to let him think it wasn't needed. He wasn't old enough for them to safely fly on her feather either, so walking was the only option available until he was older and a little heavier.

The five minute walk came to a close as they approached the sprawling grounds of the private academy he attended, built for the children and wards of youkai; humans, hybrids, and full youkai alike. Kagura worked herself near to death for her son to attend. As Sesshomaru's son, he deserved nothing but the best and the best she would give him. Kisekimaru was too young to comprehend her sacrafices, for which she was grateful. She was determined to hide their practically impoverished state from him for as long as she could.

The gates to the prestigious school were open, youkai parents pouring in from every which way with their wards and children. All were dressed to the T and looking as though their hair and make-up hadn't forced them to be up at ungodly hours of the morn. Kagura dressed the part of the wealthy parent every morning, trying not to embarass her son and cause him to be ostracized by his peers.

"Have a nice day at school, okay Kisekimaru?" She prompted, kneeling down to her son's height and giving him a tight smile. He nodded mutely, returning her smile with a vibrance that warmed her heart every time she saw it. She gave him a butterfly kiss to the nose and a pat on the head before sending him off into the building. His silver head of hair bobbed among the other students as they entered the school, distinct in its shade and shine. Kagura wanted him to have every advantage she could give, desperate to see him succeed where she had failed.

Waiting until he was out of sight, Kagura plucked a feather from her hair and was high in the air within seconds. There was no desire to associate with the people of the class she had been from before her pregnancy, they being a bitter reminder that most if not all were just like her father. Besides, running late to Kisekimaru's classes meant she was running late for work and had no time or idle chitchat. Urging the winds to fly her faster to her destination, she could naught but hope that she would make it in time to escape a lecture from her boss.

* * *

"Kagura!" She winced as a sharp and angry voice reached her ears. "Where have you been? You're late this morning!" Even pressing the wind to near gale speeds had done nothing in making her on time.

"I was dropping my son off at school, sir." Her boss, a hanyou, sneered at her words.

"The bastard Taiyoukai?" Kagura flinched violently at his words, her hands balled into tight fists. "If he can even be called a Taiyoukai." Anger swirled inside her as the angry winds of hurricanes do, threatening to loosen her tongue. Still, she kept herself in check, teeth gritted as she reminded herself that the job paid her the most and staved off debt and poverty. To continue sending Kisekimaru to the best classes in the Academy, she needed to keep her mouth sealed and her opinions to herself.

"I'm sorry for my lateness, sir, it won't happen again." The independent side of Kagura protested her submissive behaviour, especially to a hanyou, but she could do nothing.

"Of course it won't." His contemptuous reply almost unhitched Kagura, but she kept her wits about her, staying silent. "What's on my schedule for today?" Sharp retorts floated about her mind like a poisoned wind, tempting her with their alluring appeal. The image of her baby flushed out her fury-fueled words and becalmed her rising ire.

She drolled out his schedule in the most dull voice she could manage with a straight face, determined to make his day as boring as possible. Perhaps she couldn't sue him for harassing and insulting her, but she wasn't without her weapons.

"All right." Kagura was cut off halfway down her planner, shooting him a look of dull question. He looked twitchy, much to her satisfaction. "Let's just get a move on before we're late." He stalked away, muttering under his breath about how boring and unresponsive she was. Her own stride was much more confident, smug in the fact that she had won that battle. While she knew she would not win the war, she would savour what victories she could.

* * *

Kagura's day job let out minutes before Kisekimaru's classes did and she was always in a rush to get there, arriving just as he stepped from behind the doors. When she landed, she spotted his shining mass of silver hair and plastered on her most brilliant smile. His own smile was a million times brighter as he rushed up to her, clinging about her small waist in a crushing hug.

"Hello to you too, Kisekimaru!" She wrapped her own arms around him and laughed as a gust of air sent their hair flying upward. "How was school today precious?" He smiled as they released each other and she grasped his hand in a light grip, beginning the walk toward their meager home.

"Good Ama!" He exclaimed, ruby eyes glowing with happiness that warmed Kagura's heart, "We have a new girl in her class. Her name is Rin and she's human, but really smart and knows a lot about youkai." His mother smiled in an uncharacteristic and maternal way as she listened to her son chatter. Kisekimaru was always talkative after school, eager to relive his day through her. It was one of the things Kagura looked forward to most during her day.

"... and today Rin said that I looked like her dad, only a little different." She only caught the back end of the sentence, but it was enough to stop Kagura in her tracks, her eyes wide. Kisekimaru jerked to a stop, a frown marring his features only the slightest. A vague part of Kagura registered that he looked almost exactly like Sesshomaru like that.

Thoughts spun around the vast abyss of her mind, blocking the world beyond her own body. Could that Rin girl's father be Sesshomaru? Was he in the city? Did he know she was there? Why didn't she know he was there? Did he know about his son?

"Ama?" The sweet voice of her miracle cut through the mass of questions and grounded her in reality once more. No, she was being foolish. She had seen many youkai who held a resemblence to Kisekimaru, but none were Sesshomaru. Her own worry was causing old flarings of paranoia to spring up. There was no way he could be the human girl's father; Sesshomaru professed only two true hatreds to her: his half-brother and humans. He would never adopt a human child, a girl no less. He would want an heir, making a boy a prime candidate. "Ama, are you all right?" Kagura was snapped from the last of her musings by the worry clear in Kisekimaru's voice, smiling easily as though not a thing had occured

"Of course darling," she soothed, patting his head at his disbelieving expression, "Ama just remembered something is all." He looked skeptical, but seemed to buy her story, his trust in his mother explicit. She felt only the slightest bit of guilt as he accepted it without a word of protest, but shook it off. The less he knew about his father, the better off they would be. The rest of their walk was silent, strange for how close the two were as mother and son. Kagura, though dismissing the possibility, felt all her old fears returning to haunt her. Her hand tightened around her son's, her eyes darting about.

Life with Naraku had done many things for her; some good, some bad. A healthy dose of paranoia was one of the first things he instilled in his children, making sure they were suspicious of all around them. At that moment, Kagura wished her father had taught her something else because the fear that she had felt when Kisekimaru was just a baby was resurfacing.

For his first two years, she had been terrified that Sesshomaru would catch wind of the birth of his heir. Her entire life had been lived in an almost constant state of fear and worry. Those were the worst years for her son and her. She had barely been able to make ends meat, trying to keep their shabby apartment, her job, food on the table, and a baby-sitter. Her fear kept them confined to the interior of her apartment, petrified that Sesshomaru would take her baby from her if they ventured out.

Kagura thought she had firmly placed that embarassing period of her life behind her, but she obviously thought wrong. All those fears were creeping up on her again and the tantalizing thought of taking Kisekimaru out of his private school drifted in her mind.

"Ama, can you help me with my homework when we get home?" Kisekimaru asked, glancing up at the mother he so loved. Kagura felt the guilt hit her like a thousand tons of bricks. Had she truly been contemplating taking her son from the place she had worked so hard to give him and he so enjoyed? Another glance at his silent, questing face shot the guilt home and she wanted to kill herself for even thinking about taking her son from his school.

"Of course Kisekimaru," she choked out, straining to smile at her son, "and I'll even make you your favorite dinner, how does that sound?" Kisekimaru smiled his brilliant smile and launched himself at his mother's waist, burying his face in her stomach. She squeezed him back as tight as she could, vowing to herself that she would make up for thinking such a traitorous thought.

Lifting her son from the ground, Kagura carried him the rest of the way home, allowing him to bat at the feathers tucked into her hair. It was the least she could do for even thinking about taking away something that made him so happy.

* * *

"Himura-san, another round, if you please." From the far end of the bar, the drunken voice of one of her regular customers called out. With a wry grin on her face, Kagura did as she was bid, fixing up another round of Mind Erasers for the drunk high-rollers. Sliding them down one by one, she couldn't help her laughter as she watched them fumble with the small glasses.

"It's not polite to laugh at your patrons, bar tender." A smooth, suave voice chastised from behind her. Turning, Kagura drank in the newest patron at the bar. He was young and, from the looks of his pointed ears, a demon. She slipped into her friendly bar tender persona, and shot him an open smile.

"What harm is there if they won't even remember my face in the morning?" She asked, chuckling a little as she heard a call for more from them. "At the rate they're going, we'll be lucky to have any big wigs still alive at the end of the night. What's your poison?" With deft hands, she poured the shots and slid them down, continuing to exhibit her mirth.

"I only hope you don't laugh at me like that." He replied with a smirk, a pointed fang slipping out from beneath his lips. "Let's see if you know your cocktails. Lavalamp, if you would be so kind." With a smirk that matched her patron's, she poured the little-known drink with ease.

"You wound me with your lack of faith," she teased, clutching her chest above her heart in mock pain, "Ask anyone in the club; I'm the best bartender around." He snorted, but took a sip, leaving her to put away the grenadine, apple juice, and Absolut Citron. Allowing her focus to drift away from the new man at the bar, her eyes roved over the nearly empty club.

The Black Diamond had been slow since she had arrived at nine. It wasn't odd for Thursdays to be slow, but it was slower than normal. It would reflect in her tips for the night, she brooded glumly. Saving up for Kisekimaru's present was proving to be harder as the economy began to take a dive. True, it hardly affected the high-rollers she served, but they tended to be skimpy on tips when there was unrest in their companies.

"Another lavalamp please." That smooth voice pulled her from her dark musings and drew a sly smile.

"Coming right up." His drink was done in no time, and he tipped his glass to her in thanks. "So, what's a guy like you doing here at eleven on a Thursday night? Surely there are better parties to be frequenting?" It was a regular routine with her, seeing as the only reason people came to her was to complain. Some patrons just needed the right prompting to spill their troubles.

"What makes you think so?" He challenged, trying to dodge her question. She chuckled at his reluctance, but gave him an easy smile.

"A fine-looking man like you doesn't come here just to relax." Kagura goaded, grabbing a cloth to wipe down a glass. "Everyone comes here to get away from their troubles. Tell the bartender what's ailing you." From the look on his face, petting his ego was the way to get him to talk. She waited with practiced patience for him to speak.

"My fiancee left me." All suave was gone from his voice, and Kagura could hear the deep sadness he felt. There was nothing but truth in his voice, and she felt a flash of kinship. "I thought she was the one. I was going to Mate with her after we were married." She inhaled sharply. Mating was serious business; a soul-sealing pact that permanently bound the couple.

"Hm..." She hummed at his proclamation, eyeing him with empathy, "He may not have been 'the one' for me, but I know how you feel. My boyfriend left me after our first night together; I was apparently the campus bet and he won the earnings." He sent her a look full of sympathy.

"That must have been harsh." His low voice rumbled, "I'm sorry to hear it." She waved him off, flapping her cleaning rag carelessly.

"It's in the past," she said indifferently, "You're the one dealing with the pain now. So what are you gonna do about it?" He shrugged, looking despondant as he stared into his glass. She pouted a bit, wanting to do something for this high-rolling man that was sending off grief in waves. An idea popped into her mind, but she was reluctant to try it.

"I don't mean to sound indelicate," she began slowly, giving him time to ward off her questions, "But just what idiot girl left you? Obviously you cared deeply for her, still do if your grief is any indicator." His vibrant blue eyes lifted to stare into her own, causing her flinch back. She opened her mouth to apologize, but he beat her to the punch.

"Kikyou." He said simply, drawing a startled gasp from Kagura.

"Her?" She breathed, "But I thought she was... Oh... I see." She put on a blank expression and avoided her patron's gaze.

"What do you know about her?" His voice was a growl, and she turned narrowed ruby eyes on him. He was angry that she knew something, but it was old news.

"All I know is that she used to be Inuyasha's girl." She said flatly, setting down a glass harder than was necessary; a warning for him to keep his temper in check. "He came in here looking for sympathy after she did the same thing to him." The man deflated instantly at her words, and she felt a little guilty for being so sharp.

"So I'm not the first, huh?" He mumbled, downing the rest of his lavalamp in one foul swoop. She cringed as he coughed. "Give me something stronger. I don't wanna remember anything." With a sigh, Kagura did as she was bid, pouring him the most potent alcohol they kept: black market absinthe. With no label on the bottle, it was one of the few illegal drinks they kept to make the hardcore drinkers happy. He would need the strength.

"Be careful on your first sip," she warned as she placed the drink in front of him, "It's like an instant smashing for first-timers." Ignoring the selfish thought that it had a potent price tag to go with it, she looked on in pity as he down the entire drink, spluttering as he did.

"Thanks." He croaked, eyes dilating as the alcohol slammed into his system. She shrugged before turning to tend to the other patrons. "The names Koga; Sousha Koga." In the dim light of the bar, she hadn't recognized the famous track star.

"You just keep calling me bartender." She called over her shoulder, flashing him a sly smirk. "It'll keep me that much safer. Who is she with now?" He cracked a wry grin, strained with the effort to move through the alcohol.

"Taisho Sesshomaru, the business tycoon." His words cracked, as did his composure as the potent drink took effect and he cried. Kagura stood frozen as his sobs were muffled by his arms. Pain slashed through her, not unlike the one that had lanced through her nearly eight and half years before. Hands shaking, her fingers curled into tight fists.

"Kikyou, huh?" She whispered, her voice inaudible over Koga's sobs. "I didn't think you would sink so low." Her mind was wiped clear, she barely heard the cheerful call for more Mind Erasers from the end of the bar. Mechanically, her hands did their job, not once fumbling despite their shaking.

* * *

Sliding into her shabby apartment at four in the morning, Kagura never felt more drained in her life. With a heavy sigh, she locked her door behind her and sagged against it. Rubbing her tired eyes, she reflected for a moment on what she learned on her night shift. She had made it a point not to learn about Sesshomaru's life, not wanting to squeeze her heart anymore than was necessary.

"To bed for four hours." She muttered, kicking off her black ballet flats and pushing herself towards her bedroom. "Then it starts all over again..." Sighing once more, she forced herself to ignore the desperate feeling of being trapped.

"A-Ama?" Eyes flying open, she found Kisekimaru rubbing his eyes blearily as he peeked around his door.

"Darling..." she cooed, sweeping over to gather him into her arms, all tiredness forgotten. "Why aren't you asleep?" Her calming hands smoothed his sleep-rumpled hair and stroked his youth-fattened cheek.

"I heard the door open..." He yawned, drool slipping down his chin, "And knew you were home." He snuggled contently into her shoulder, wiping his dribble into her soft neck. A smile lifted Kagura's tired lips, and she held him to her, rocking him gently.

"Let's get you back to bed." She whispered, stepping into his room. "You have school tomorrow." He hummed, already half-way back to dream land. Chuckling softly, she replaced him in his futon, covering him with the silvery blanket she had bought before he was even born. With a butterfly kiss to the tip of his nose, she slipped from the room without a sound, stepping on a padding of air.

When his door shut with a click behind her, she sagged heavily against the doorframe. A solitary tear slipped its way down her dry cheek.

"He looks so much like Sesshomaru..." she whispered to the encroaching dawn, "Why? Why does he have to look so much like his father?" Agony twisted her heart into knots and her powers flared with her emotions. A harsh gale ripped through the hall, causing her hair to slap her face. It brought her back to the present and the gale was cut off.

Stumbling through the haze of her emotions as best she could, Kagura tumbled into her room and onto her futon. Biting her lip to keep from crying, she forced herself to forget Sesshomaru and Kisekimaru. In the lightening gray of dawn, there was only Himura Kagura, and she did not cry.

* * *

"Be a good boy, Kisekimaru?" She asked, squating down to his height as they stood before his school. His brilliant smile flashed as he nodded vigorously. She returned his with a wan imitation. "I'll be here when you get out." With a final butterfly kiss to his nose, she gently ushered him towards the Academy doors. As his silvery head disappeared from her sight, Kagura plucked her feather from her hair. Before she could fling it to the wind, something caught her eye.

A limosine pulled up to the curb barely ten feet away from her, making her roll her eyes. The extravagant lifestyles of the rich both disgusted and amused her. Was a limosine really necessary for dropping a child off at school? Staying to watch what rich fool liked to show off his money, Kagura crossed her arms with a smirk playing on her lips.

With great ceremony, the driver stepped out and opened the rear doors with a flourish she thought had gone out with the 1800s. A giggling little girl tumbled out, practically bouncing as she turned to face her parent. Kagura couldn't help but smile at how excited the little girl was. It probably helped that she was the second most adorable thing Kagura had ever seen, Kisekimaru the most adorable, of course.

The smile slid off her face as the little girl's father stepped from the limosine with much more grace than his daughter.

"Sesshomaru..." Kagura breathed, shock and fear loosening her hold on her powers. A gale kicked up and, she knew, scattered her scent around the entire pavillion. As swiftly as she reigned in her powers, she knew from the look on his face that he had caught her scent. Pure terror froze her to the spot as his icy amber eyes bore into her. Her breath caught before doubling in panic as his eyes narrowed. In that moment, she was sure her life would last only a few moments longer. Sesshomaru disappeared and her body jumped into high gear.

Her arms uncrossed and she threw her feather in desperation, hoping beyond hope that she would be fast enough to escape him. The steel vice that clamped around her arm as she readied herself to jump sapped the will from her body, leaving her stranded on the ground as her feather wheeled away. Dulled ruby eyes watched it in despondant hopelessness.

"This Sesshomaru grows tired of your games, wind witch." He drawled from behind her, just out of sight. "I have found your scent all over Rin and wish to know why you have been stalking us." That caught Kagura's attention. Her head snapped up and whirled around, ruby eyes blazing in fury at the false accusation.

"I have done nothing of the sort." She spat, glaring furiously at the man she thought she loved. "This is the first time I've even seen the girl, let alone been near her. I didn't even know her name was-" She stopped short, registering the name of the girl. Rin.

_"... and today Rin said that I looked like her dad, only a little different."_ Horror flooded her features as Kisekimaru's words rang in her head. The pieces clicked and panic ruled Kagura's mind. Fear overruled all else; fear for herself, her child, and their well-being. Had he smelt Kisekimaru? Did he know that he had a child and heir? Was he even aware of his son's existence?

All rational thought shut down and there was one thing on her mind: flight.

Kagura ripped her arm from Sesshomaru, adrenaline fueling the feat of extreme strength. Calling her feather back to her within seconds, she leapt onto it before rising sharply into the air. The winds heeded their mistress's call and sped her away from the confrontation. Eyes and mind blinded by panic, she fled to the only place she felt safe: The Black Diamond.


	3. Definition of Fear

**Chapter Two**

She had barely touched down on solid ground before she had abandoned her feather, plowing through the doors of the empty club. Only the cleaners and the person she wanted to see would be there.

"Jakotsu!" The man hardly had a moment to turn before he was tackled full on by Kagura. He only just managed to catch her and stay upright, blessing his immense strength belied by his size.

"Kagura? What are you doing here this early?" His high, flute-like voice had a calming effect on her, just like she knew it would. She slowly relaxed in his protective hug, going from shaking wildly, to only trembling. Jakotsu hushed her, smoothing her wind blown and untidy hair. "Kagu, tell big brother Jakotsu who he has to beat up." Through her slowing hyperventilating, she chuckled, calming down enough to lift her head and look at one of her only and best friends.

"You can't beat up all the people that upset me Jakotsu." She murmured, hiding her face in his neck. "Besides, this person you can't physically assault without numerous lawsuits and body guards." He pouted, his cherry-red lip sticking out obscenely far. She pulled back and gave him a wan smile before pulling out of his arms and crossing her own.

"Why not?" He whined, pawing at her shoulder.

"It's _him_." She summarized, shooting him a significant look. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped into an 'oh' before holding up a finger.

"Let me go get Bankotsu for this." He said. "You know he'll want to hear this." She sighed as he disappeared into the back to fetch his boyfriend and co-owner. Kagura slipped behind the bar, ignoring that it was only seven in the morning. If there was something she needed, it was a stiff drink to help her absorb and swallow her new fears. Pouring herself a shot of straight vodka, she knocked it back just as the couple stepped back into the bar area. The vodka burned on the way down, but settled her nerves enough to stop shaking all together.

Leaning against the spotless counter, Kagura held her head in her hands. For years she had avoided the one fear that had crowded the back of her mind and woke her from nightmares in a cold sweat. Her only reason for living was her son and if he was taken away... She didn't know what she would do. Kisekimaru was so many things to her that nothing would fill the gap if Sesshomaru took him away.

"Himura Kagura, what the Hell are you doing here this early?" Bankotsu exclaimed, rushing over to catch her up in a breath stealing embrace and catching her by surprise. She wheezed within his hug, casting a pleading and desperate look to Jakotsu.

"She was about to tell us." Jakotsu chided, chuckling and peeling his lover away from their friend to settle at the barstools. "Give the poor girl some room!" Kagura sucked in the air that had been knocked from her lungs greedily when Bankotsu let her go. She took several deep breaths to calm herself as well as she could before before speaking.

"I saw Sesshomaru this morning." She muttered, her hands beginning to tremble once more despite her calming measures. "I had just dropped off Kisekimaru and was about to leave when he pulled up with with his human ward." The couple looked shocked from the other side of the bar, but said nothing.

"He smelled me on Rin." She continued, her voice beginning to shake, "I don't know how that happened, but he accused me of stalking them. I freaked out, because Kisekimaru had mentioned the other day that he had made friends with Rin and..." She trailed off, the fear beginning to cloud her mind again. Her body tensed to flee and retrieve her son.

"... And you don't know if he smelled Kisekimaru, right?" Jakotsu finished, wrapping Kagura in another hug as she began to shake once more. Kagura nodded, trying not to hyperventilate. "Kagura, you'll be fine." She shook her head, becoming panicky again. What if he had smelled Kisekimaru? Had that girl Rin mentioned anything? What if he had gone to get Kisekimaru when she was too frightened for herself to think about her son?

"I have to go get Kisekimaru." Heart pounding, Kagura struggled to escape her friend's grip. "What if he goes in to take my baby from me?" The wind pushed against Jakotsu, but he held on tight.

"Kagura calm down!" Bankotsu shouted, trying to be heard over the increasing gale, "There's no way Sesshomaru would have known about Kisekimaru."

"Yeah!" Jakotsu added, "Kisekimaru is a mixed scent of you and Sesshomaru. To Sesshomaru, it would have smelt like you were on Rin if she played with your son." Kagura deflated instantly, the winds dying. Jakotsu smoothed her ruffled hair, relieved she had calmed down so quickly with their words.

"Are you sure?" She muttered, her voice weak with relief. "There's no way he could have known?" Her best friends shared a happy look over her head.

"Unless he already knew you had his kid, there's no way." Bankotsu reassured her, rubbing her back, "And you know he would have come by now if he knew." Kagura let out a deep sigh, glad she had her friends to keep her from doing stupid things. All three stood in silence, letting Kagura get her composure back.

"So guess what guys? I'm late for work and probably out of a job."

* * *

Kagura stepped into the opulent entrance hall of The Academy, hoping that the quick fix to her wardrobe Jakotsu had performed held out. The secretaries were trained to smell fakes from miles away, or so it seemed. She turned to the right, towards the receptionist's office. The familiar oaken door glared at her, making the corner of her lip twitch up. As she knocked on it, she tugged at the neckline of her shirt. Jakotsu was always trying to flaunt her assets as though they were his own.

"Come in." Kagura ceased her fidgeting and opened the door, a practiced plastic smile on her features. "Ah, Miss Himura! How can I help you today?" The secretary smiled up at her, making Kagura sick. The practiced fakery of the rich did nothing but remind her of Naraku.

"I'm here to take my son out early." Kagura replied, stepping up to the counter, "He has an appointment with his physician that we simply cannot be late for." From the way the secretary nodded and picked up her phone, Kagura guessed she could still pull off her 'rich-and-snobby' accent perfectly. Just one more thing Kagura would grudgingly appreciate her father for teaching her.

"He's on his way!" The secretary announced when she placed her phone down, "Can I get you something to drink while you wait?" Kagura shook her head, politely declining the offer before striding out of the office. She couldn't help the deep sigh of relief that escaped her lips. It was one more weight off her shoulders to know she wouldn't have to have another encounter with Sesshomaru.

Her pride smarted knowing that she was bowing out of a challenge; it screeched protests to her cowardly behavior. It was a small matter to stamp it down, however. The safety and keeping of Kisekimaru came before all else, her wounded pride included. She would die before she let her baby go to the man who had so callously shattered her heart and ruined her life.

"Ama!" Kagura snapped out of her vengeful daze to see Kisekimaru bounding down the hallway towards her. She smiled and caught him up in her arms in a tight hug. Guilt flooded through her as he laughed into her neck, knowing that what she was going to do would break his heart.

"Darling," she cooed, setting him down and crouching to his level, "Ama has to ask you to do something that is going to make you very sad, okay?" The kilowatt smile on her son's face dimmed to nothing and Kagura's heart sank with it. It cut like a knife to hurt him, but it was something she was forced to do.

"What?" His quiet voice dripped with sorrow and Kagura's eyes stung.

"I have to ask you to stop being friends with Rin, okay?" It sounded foolish to speak the demand aloud. "Her Opa is a man that has hurt your ama greatly. I have to protect us both and I need you to help by ignoring her, okay?" Fat tears glistened in her son's eyes, but not one fell. His expression closed and Kagura swallowed hard, trying to ignore the unconscious mannerism he had adopted from Sesshomaru. He already resembled his father greatly; her tolerance wouldn't be able to take many more reminders.

"Okay." Kisekimaru's flat voice shredded her heartstrings, "I can do that." Kagura gave him a wan smile; a poor condolence for his cooperation.

"Thank you darling." She tugged him to her, hugging him fiercely. "I'm going to take you to Big Brother Jakotsu's for the rest of the day, okay? He's going to make us lunch and we're staying the night. How does that sound?" He nodded mutely into her neck, making her frown. Without another word, she scooped him up and stepped briskly out of The Academy.

* * *

"I can't thank you enough for watching him and _this_, Bankotsu." Kagura said for the hundredth time. "I know this cuts down your workers and--" Bankotsu placed a hushing finger against her lips with an easy smile.

"It's our pleasure Kagura." He removed his finger to pat her head. "You're like a little sister to me and you know we would have made you a partner in owning if you had been around. It's nothing to give you all the shifts at the bar and work management, okay?" She threw up a thankful smile and hugged him tight.

"Still, _thank you_." She stepped back from him and gave a wave before gliding down the steps. The jazzy music of The Black Diamond drifted up to her before anything else. Though she usually hated the brittle sound of jazz, Kagura found herself relaxing as it played. Behind the bar, she was just the sympathetic bartender with an easy smile and good advice. There was no Sesshomaru, no emotional baggage, and no Kisekimaru. All that was left was a personality that could be put on and taken off with a snap of her fingers.

As she stepped before the black door that opened into The Black Diamond, Kagura took a deep breath. Letting go of all the stress as she breathed out, she pushed open the door and let the jazz flow over her.

Patrons were scattered around the club, sparse for a Friday. The club usually began to fill around eight and just get more packed from there. Making her way to the bar, she noticed a few patrons got up to follow her. Only the heavy drinkers watched the back door like hawks, waiting for the bartender. With a smirk on her face, she slipped behind the counter and let an easy smile slip onto her lips.

"What's your poison?" A chorus of drinks were mumbled, most of them coming from those she recognized. Big wigs on the way to ruin wanting to drink away their troubles. She fixed each of their drinks before turning to the man at the end of the bar, away from the rest.

"Here to forget again, Koga?" As the track star lifted his dreary head, she noticed that very little of the suave man he had been the night before was left. Eyes bloodshot and a slight shadow forming on his cheek, he looked like the drinking veterans she had just served.

"Yeah." He muttered, sending her a glance with grief laden eyes, "A lava lamp, if you please. Heavy on the liquor." He slid money across the counter, enough to pay for three nights worth of lava lamps.

"Coming right up." With a pitying frown, she poured out his drink, placing it in front of him. Wordlessly he gulped it down, not even cringing as he finished it in one go. As he nudged his empty glass towards her, Kagura knew why he put down so much money.

"You're gonna drink yourself into an early grave at this rate." She advised as she gave him his second cocktail. He said nothing, just looking into the drink. "How about this? I tell you some of my troubles and you only get drinks when I finish." He grunted, nodding his head in assent. She quickly swiped the drink before he could have any second thoughts, dumping it in the sink a few feet away.

"Think you can match me, bartender?" His voice was husky and hoarse; tempting in any other setting, but it only tugged at her pity. He flashed a wry grin, bringing back the man from the night before for a few moments.

"Maybe, maybe not." She replied, grabbing a cloth to wipe down a glass and leaning with her back against the counter, "We'll just have to find out, huh?"

* * *

The cool, air conditioned interior of his Bentley was heavenly after the sweltering heat of the meeting room. Sesshomaru upped the air a little more, blinking as some of his hair brushed his face. He only had one last appointment to see to before going home, if it could even be called that. His 'romantic' correspondences with Kikyou were purely business; for him anyway.

The sickly sweet message she had left on his cell instructed him to meet her outside The Black Diamond, one of the more upscale clubs in town, at 9:00. Glancing at his watch, he put the car into gear and pulled out of the bank parking lot. A quick glance toward his rear view mirror reminded him of his encounter earlier in the day. Seeing no one who looked like Kagura in a car behind him, he sped off toward The Black Diamond.

He had to admit, picking up Rin the previous day had been shock. The smell of Kagura had practically saturated the young human, making him instantly suspicious. Even though she had attended a well built facade, Sesshomaru knew he had impacted her greatly. After all, but a few months after their break up, she had dropped out of the college. It was his hope that she had left him alone, but it was obviously not the case.

Stalking hadn't seemed like Kagura's style when they were in school, but one could never be too sure with wind demons. A fickle lot they were, temperamental to boot, and Kagura was the epitome of all wind witches. She had been crossed in the worst way and he couldn't be sure how she would behave now he was within her reach.

The buzz and ring of his cell pulled him from his dark musings. Sesshomaru pulled out the compact phone and flipped it open with a snap.

"Taisho Sesshomaru." He had to suppress a cringe as Kikyou's honeyed voice drifted through the speaker.

"Sesshomaru! Where are you darling?" Her high-society indisposition made him frown. "I've been waiting for five minutes already." A glance at his watch told him she was early. It was just like her to arrive early so she could call him.

"I'll be there in two minutes." He replied, turning into a large street, "I'm on the street already." Without another word, he snapped the phone shut and thankfully shut out Kikyou's annoying voice. He knew he would in for a lecture for cutting their conversation so abruptly, but there was already a migraine surfacing between his temples. The last thing he needed was for her to add to it.

Pulling up to the curb, Sesshomaru turned off the car and stepped out, tossing the keys to the valet that stood a few feet away. The man bowed and left just in time to avoid Kikyou's high pitched giggle of excitement. Sesshomaru closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to rid himself of his head pain.

"Why did you hang up so suddenly?" His girlfriend was suddenly front and center when he opened his eyes, pouting her thin, pale lips at him. He ignored her seduction tactics, brushing past her and entering the classy club.

Quiet, smooth jazz soothed Sesshomaru's headache almost instantly. His solace was quickly shattered as he felt Kikyou latch onto his left arm. Sparing a glance down to he, he noticed she was fluttering her eyelashes at him and glancing discreetly at the bar.

"I'll get us drinks. You find a seat." His words were terse, but Kikyou giggled like a seduced school girl.

"Gladly!" She cooed. "Bring me a Cosmo, would you? Thanks." She laid a wet kiss onto his cheek before disappearing into the enclosed VIP lounge. Sesshomaru stared after her in momentary disbelief before making his slow way towards the bar.

It amused him the way his 'girlfriend' acted around him. She seemed to be under the impression he was oblivious to her true nature: that of a gold-digging fiend who loved and left once she got what she wanted. It was fortunate for him he knew she had a drinking problem. Putting her under the table and out of commission would be no problem with a few extra fifties to the bartender.

As he got closer to the bar, a scent became more apparent to his sensitive nose. Despite the numerous other smells layering over it, Kagura's distinct smell of a crisp, cold wind reached his nostrils. The suspicions he had intensified and he discreetly glanced around, searching for the sneaking stalker. His keen eyes lighted on nothing familiar and he proceeded to the bar with caution. He was ready to catch her in the act and file a restraining order against her. Rin would not be put in danger because of one of his conquests.

Sesshomaru scanned the bar, noticing the bartender down in a lonely corner with another patron. From the looks of those at the bar, all the drunks were having their first drink of the night. He sauntered towards the pair, but froze as a familiar voice drifted back to him.

"... have to find out, huh?" Golden eyes locked onto the back of the bartender, almost certain that was where the voice had come from.

"You remember my ass boyfriend who left me after he won the campus bet?" Shock jolted Sesshomaru down to his core. Kagura was the bartender for the night, hence why the bar was saturated with her scent. "Yeah, after he left I ended up pregnant. Dropped out of college, popped out his heir ten months later. I moved away with my baby and have been hiding ever since. It's been tough, working 15-20 hours a day to send my baby, Kisekimaru, to The Academy to be the best. He loves it though so I work my ass off to keep him happy. Carbon copy of his dad too, in looks and personality. It almost hurts to look at him; he brings up so many memories." Kagura leaned down close to the man slumped over the bar next to her. Sesshomaru quickly moved closer, just in time to catch her low words.

"And wanna know something else? He's with the skank that left you." Sesshomaru watched with keen eyes as the man sat up, barely recognizing the track star for who he was. With narrowed eyes, Sesshomaru backed away from the pair swiftly. He knew that the wolf demon's sense of smell was almost on par with his own and he would be easily sniffed out if he lingered. Turning towards the entrance, he left The Black Diamond, amber eyes glittering with a cold light and an angry edge.

Taisho Sesshomaru was a man unwise to cross and Kagura had crossed him in the worst way.


	4. Unfair Warning

**Chapter Three**

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"You've reached Himura Kagura. Sorry I missed your call, but leave a short message and I might get back to you." Beep.

"Miss Himura, this is Hikigaeru Jaken. I am calling on behalf of Taisho Sesshomaru. It has come to attention that you have been unfairly keeping Mr. Taisho from his son and the heir to his fortune."

"He has expressed the desire to take full custody of his son, Taisho Kisekimaru, and has arranged for a custody trial to take place in a day's time. It will take place at the city court house and begin at seven in the morning."

"If you do not attend, all rights to any custody and visitation will be removed and you may or may not be arrested. I cannot be sure. You may bring in your own lawyers or use one that the government will appoint; it will matter very little."

"Ah, and here is Mr. Taisho now. He wishes to speak to you." Rustling.

"... Kagura, you will not win." Click.

Beeeeeep.

* * *

A/N- Filler. Sorry.


	5. Suspicion

**Chapter Four**

Kisekimaru waved dully back at the men he was raised to think of as part of the family before turning to enter The Academy. Children of all origins swarmed around him as he traversed the well known halls of his school. Deep sadness was etched into his features, and his usually brilliant ruby eyes were dim.

He stepped quietly through one of the open doors on his left; classroom 2-A was still chaotic with the influx of arriving students. He strode to his desk, head turned downward to avoid attracting attention to himself. There was only one person who would be oblivious enough to ignore the warning, and he didn't look forward to her arrival. Sliding into his desk, Kisekimaru put his things away before dully staring at the board.

It almost hurt physically even consider his Ama's request, but it would be done as she asked. There was a throb in his heart that made his stomach drop. Rin was so incredibly nice; it was hard to imagine that her Opa had done something cruel to his Ama. A deep sigh slipped from his lips, sounding out of place coming from someone so young. His sensitive nose twitched as the scent of sweet rosemary reached his nostrils.

"Kisekimaru!" The giggly, high-spirited voice of Rin floated to him as she entered the room. A frown dug into his aristocratic features as he turned to face the young girl.

"Rin." His even voice immediately caught her attention, a concerned look in her brown eyes, "I... I can't be friends with you anymore." Rin could only stare back, nonplussed at his abrupt admittance. She searched his ruby eyes for a reason, but could see nothing. He just stared back, his face a mask of indifference that was so familiar to her.

"Wh-what? Why?" She stuttered quietly, shiny tears beginning well up around her lashes. Kisekimaru looked down at his desk, uncomfortable with the imminent tears.

"Ama said that your Opa hurt her a lot," He muttered, glancing at her, "that she needs to protect us and that means I can't be friends with you anymore." Kisekimaru grimaced when the salty smell of tears reached his nose. His own tears rose up to his eyes, but he pushed them back. Ama had said that tears solve nothing and only the weak cry.

"... You're so mean Kisekimaru!" Her warbling voice was a near wail as she rushed away from him. One tear slipped from his glittering ruby eyes before it was callously brushed away.

* * *

Kagura nursed a cup of strong black coffee as she watched the morning news Bankotsu had kept on before he left with Jakotsu and Kisekimaru in tow. Her back ached from a night on the love seat, but she considered a small sacrifice. She had no desire to be anywhere near her home now that Sesshomaru was onto her scent. All she would be doing is inviting trouble if she stayed where she knew Sesshomaru could easily find her.

A heavy sigh escaped her as she stared into the dark brown of her coffee. At the back of her mind, she had always known Sesshomaru would find her; it was inevitable. All she wished was that Kisekimaru was old enough to be free of custody battles by the time Sesshomaru had sniffed her out. As her situation weighed heavily onto her shoulders, Kagura couldn't help but hate Sesshomaru as well as herself.

Though she had been foolish enough to fall for his antics in college, it took two to tango; either Naraku's well taught lessons had gone to waste or Sesshomaru was a damn good actor. No matter how she swung it, the situation came down to the fact that she and Sesshomaru had lacked the foresight to use a condom. It was only her luck that the one time she had sex without a condom was the time she got pregnant. Brooding, Kagura turned her attention back to the news she had been ignoring.

"_… the infamous Taisho Sesshomaru was spotted last night meeting up with new girlfriend Shinu Kikyou. Sesshomaru looked troubled; is the relationship already on the rocks?_" The peppy voice of the gossip announcer drew a frown from Kagura's exhausted face. Her dull ruby eyes searched around for the remote, a grunt of displeasure escaping her as she spotted it across the room. "_… We managed to catch a glimpse of Sesshomaru as he stormed out of the Black Diamond only a few minutes after he entered._" Kagura froze, eyes zoning in on the television. Playing on the screen was the wobbly film from the night before as Sesshomaru stormed out of the distinctive doors of the Black Diamond.

"Shit…" She breathed, glancing at the time shown in the bottom of the screen. It read 9:03; she had already started working. Her hunt for the remote was all but forgotten as she stood, pacing around the small living room with her nerves in a jumble. A shaking hand ran through her hair, tugging at the brown strands. "This is not good."

The one night she decides to have a confessional with a near stranger is the night Sesshomaru was in the bar. Her sharp fingernails dug into her scalp, the pain only a momentary distraction from her worries. Like a fool, she hadn't noticed Sesshomaru's presence and, if her recollection was correct, he stormed out of the bar right after she had finished spilling her troubles to Kouga. There was no telling if he had heard her or not; all she could do was hope beyond hope that the timing was pure coincidence and plan as though it wasn't.

"You had to be so stupid Kagura," she muttered angrily, once more tugging at her brown locks, "You had to go and tell someone you had a son. How many people know that?" The logical side of her mind supplied a long list, but she was already far from being logical or rational. Anger bled through the cracks her worry created and drowned out all other sensations. Her ruby eyes sparked with life, her mind working overdrive as it sifted through endless ways she and Kisekimaru could escape without drawing Sesshomaru's attention. Few seemed probable, even fewer seemed doable on the budget she ran.

* * *

Jakotsu was, for once, sitting quietly in the car as popish music played. Bankotsu tried his best to block much of it out, hating the music his mate adored. Still, it was the only way to get the flamboyant man to settle somewhat and Bankotsu would take what peace he could. Figures jumped in his brain as he slowed the car for a stoplight; the bills at the Black Diamond wouldn't pay themselves.

Both Jakotsu and Bankotsu were shaken from their quiet as the keening sound of Bankotsu's phone cut through the upbeat pop music. Bankotsu was quick to retrieve his phone as Jakotsu turned down the music respectfully.

"This is Banktosu." He said gruffly, pressing on the gas as the light turned green. He listened in absolute silence as Jakotsu stared at him, curiosity painting his features. "What? The Hell are you--" A deep frown marred Bankotsu's features as he continued to listen to whomever was calling.

"Agh, damn it! We'll be over in a few." Bankotsu groused, suddenly swerving the car to the far right of the street. Jakotsu yelped in surprise, grasping desperately for the 'oh shit!' handle. "We'll talk about it when we get there, okay? Don't do anything rash… I know you won't, I'm just-- Ah shit." Bankotsu shut his phone with a loud clap and a glare towards the idiots in the cars behind them.

"What was that about?" Jakotsu demanded indignantly, face still vaguely pale from the sudden jerking and swerving of the car. Bankotsu frowned further, flipping the bird out the window before replying.

"It's Kagura." He spat, "The gossip news was on and Sesshomaru was at the bar last night. _Apparently,_ she spilled her guts to that track guy and she's not sure if Sesshomaru heard or not. The film said Sesshy left just after Kagura had her little confessional." Jakotsu's face morphed into an expression of worry, even as his mate drove across Osaka erratically.

"What can we do about this?" He asked rationally, "Even if Sesshomaru did hear, there's not much we can do other than lend her our lawyers if he sues for custody." Bankotsu grunted, and Jakotsu couldn't help rolling his eyes at his partner's lack of eloquence.

"Yeah, but she wants to work on the best way to either get out of the country or win the case" He mocked, his voice raising into a falsetto. "I think it's a load of bull and she knows-- Shit!"

* * *

Kagura paced heavily through Bankotsu's apartment, not caring in the least bit about the noise she knew she was making. An irritated frown marred her features as she rolled the cordless phone in her hand. Her eyes darted to the clock that sat just above the television. Nine thirty.

"I called them twenty minutes ago." She muttered, her grip tightening on the phone, "It takes that long to _walk_ to the Academy." She nimbly dialed the number to Jakotsu's phone, knowing he was more likely to answer after she hung up on Bankotsu. It went three rings before going to voice mail. Foul curses spilled from her mouth, and she fought not to throw the cordless at the wall. It wasn't the phone's fault Jakotsu wasn't answering his cell. Trying to calm down, she threw herself onto the couch and snatched up the remote. The gossip news was still on and she changed the channel.

"_… plays the victim in--_" Click.

"_That's the politics of the situa--_" Click.

"_And now for traffic. A bad wreck on--_" Click.

"Fuck, there's nothing…" She muttered, finally turning off the final distraction she had from her problems. The situation with her job, Sesshomaru, and the problem she knew would come with Kisekimaru weighed heavily on her shoulders. Silence permeated the usually boistrous apartment and made Kagura shiver. She wasn't sure how long she had been wallowing before the phone rang.

"This is Himura Kagura." Kagura could barely keep herself from snapping at the person on the other end of the line.

"Miss Himura? Well we were looking for… never mind, you're on the list." Kagura frowned at the muttered utterances that rasped through the receiver. "You're on the emergency contact list of both Shichi Bankotsu and Nintai Jakotsu. Both men are in the hospital and we need you to come down and sign some papers for them."

* * *

By the time Kagura arrived at the hospital looking a mess, Jakotsu was already spouting orders to anyone who could hear him. It lifted some of the intense worry that had descended upon her shoulders to see her best friend so well so soon. As she approached the flamboyant man, her eyes drifted towards the bed beside him where his partner lay with his eyes still closed.

"Kagu, there you are; tell these stupid doctors that I'm fine and that Bankotsu _needs more attention!_" He raised his voice at the end, glaring conspicuously at one of the nervous interns nearby. Kagura chuckled under her breath, tugging a chair next to his bed.

"Shut up Jakotsu." She scolded, finally turning her attention to the paperwork the lady at the desk had shoved into her hands before she had sprinted away. "I'm just going to be glad neither of you are in the operating room. Do you know how panicked I was when the hospital called me?" Her eyes lifted just long enough to give Jakotsu a glare with minimal bite before returning to signing forms.

"I'm mostly fine," Jakotsu assured her, his eyes still lingering on Bankotsu, "just this damn leg cramping my wonderful style." He glared down at the cast that surrounded his leg before continuing. "I'll be out as soon as you and I sign those forms. Bankotsu on the other hand…" Kagura's eyes lingered on the papers that sat before her eyes. She didn't want to look up and see what had happened to put that tone in Jakotsu's voice. Steeling herself as best she could, she forced herself to see the damage that had been done.

Bankotsu's normally handsome face was marred by the bandages wrapped tightly around his head, as well as the gauze square taped to the upper part of his cheek and temple. As her eyes slid down his sleeping form, Kagura couldn't help the cringe that passed over her. After years of seeing the man in near perfect health, such a drastic change was many bandages that adorned his body just added to her worry.

"He'll be alright…?" The words tumbled from her mouth as more of a question than the firm, reassuring statement she wanted it to be. However, when she glanced at Jakotsu, she saw the determined set of his jaw even though there was little he could do.

"Of course; the bastard wouldn't go without a fight, you know that." It brought a relieved smile to her face, knowing that Jakotsu had such strong conviction. He wouldn't let his partner die without a fight. Kagura returned to signing her forms, a small weight lifting from her shoulders. Comfortable silence stretched between the familiar pair as only the scritch of Kagura's pen could be heard.

"So…" Jakotsu began, sending a needling glance at the demoness beside him, "What are you going to do about Sesshomaru?" Kagura froze, pen hovering just above the last page she needed to sign. Jakotsu turned a hard stare onto her, his suspicions from the car returning. "You were going to run again, weren't you?" She flinched at the harsh words, but could find no rebuke.

"I was." She muttered lowly, slowly signing the last part of the forms and avoiding his accusing eyes. "There's no way I'll win in a trial if Sesshomaru sues me for custody and--"

"Listen to yourself." Jakotsu snapped, cutting his friend off. "You sound like a fugitive and you don't even know _one hundred percent_ that Sesshomaru knows about Kisekimaru. For all we know, he got mad at Kikyou and left the bar early. You're acting like a coward!" Kagura lifted her eyes to glare at Jakotsu, engaging in a battle of wills that she already knew she would lose. She looked away first, standing abruptly.

"I'm going to turn in the forms." She said, turning away from her friend. "I'll drive you home if you want to go when I get back." With that said, she trekked off to return the forms to the secretary at the front desk. Until she turned the corner to leave the hall, she could feel Jakotsu's eyes burning disapprovingly into her back.

Even though she knew she was acting like a coward, all she wanted was to keep her reason for living.


	6. Trapped Like a Rat

**Chapter Five**

Stumbling into her apartment, Kagura couldn't help but think over Jakotsu's words from the hospital.

While the last thing she considered herself to be was a coward, there was only so much she could do in her situation. While running wasn't the best option, it was the easiest. Like the winds she embodied, she would take the path of least resistence over one that would disrupt her steady flow of life.

Deep inside though, Kagura knew that running would only get her so far. There were only so many places she could go that Sesshomaru wouldn't find. Hiding in the country would be impossible with Sesshomaru's hounds; fleeing the country would sap all the money she had saved away for Kisekimaru. Neither option presented an optimum solution for Kisekimaru's future.

Head suddenly spinning, Kagura dragged herself to the large pillow on the floor, plopping down with a groan. A dull jab in her pocket drew her attention to the item in her pocket. She withdrew the troublesome thing, a folded and slightly bent piece of paper. Holding it up, she considered what Jakotsu had given her before she fled the hospital.

"Best custody lawyer you know, huh?" she muttered, opening it to see the hastily written number in Jakotsu's flowing script. His parting words rang out in Kagura's mind, weighing heavily.

"He's the best we know; my mom used him to keep me," he had said, a serious look on his face, "I know the only way you'll win this is if you fight. Because he's the best though, his price is sky-high. Even if you don't win, he'll most likely take half your savings for Kisekimaru and you." Naraku's ingrained suspicion made her wary of the man's price, but as she sat in her tiny living room, desperation began to override her instincts.

Standing, Kagura strode to the telephone hanging in her kitchen, mind firmly made up. No matter the price, keeping Kisekimaru would be her number one priority. Lifting the phone from the wall cradle, deft fingers began to punch in the number.

"You have one new message." The cheery voice of Kagura's answering machine nearly startled her into dropping the phone. Blinking, she stared at the flashing light for a moment before clicking the end button. Messages could come after she secured the future of her son with her.

With an exasperated sigh, she began dialing the number again, only to be halted once more by a harsh knocking on her front door.

"Miss Himura! Can you please open the door." Growling, she slammed her phone against the cradle and stormed to her front door. "Miss Himura, this is an important matter and--" With a scowl on her face, Kagura yanked open the door, cutting off the speaker on the other side. Her eyes widened dramatically as three officers crowded her doorstep. The one in front stepped up with a warrant in his hands.

"We have a warrant for your arrest, ma'am." He said unsympathetically, pushing his way into her house. "Because you failed to show up in court today, you are being put under arrest for contempt of court and failing to adhere to the contract you signed--"

"What the Hell are you talking about?" Kagura exclaimed, tensing as the officer circled around her and the jingle of handcuffs reached her ears. He had one of her hands in cuffs before she could yank her hands away. With a snarl, she belatedly noticed the pointed ears of a demon. "I signed no contract! Hell, I didn't even know I was supposed to show up in court for anything." The officer scoffed behind her, telling her exactly what he thought of her words. The other two stepped out of the way as she was roughly guided out of her home.

"Save it for your lawyer ma'am." The officer behind her said blandly. "We're just doing our job." Kagura growled low in her throat, but the warning tightening of her cuffs kept her cooperative. As she was shoved none too gently into the cruiser, only one thought crossed her mind.

What was going to happen to Kisekimaru now that Jakotsu and Bankotsu were in the hospital?

* * *

"Jaken, what is the time?" The squat demon hurriedly checked his watch, not wanting to raise his lord's ire. From the tone of his voice, Sesshomaru was seething.

"Eight-thirty milord." He squawked, burying himself in the court papers before him. He knew exactly why Sesshomaru was asking.

"The insolent woman isn't coming." The seemingly calm inuyoukai murmured, slitting his eyes towards his vaguely trembling servant. "Make sure she is jailed before noon; I want my son in my care before the day is out." That said, he stood from the prosecuter's table and out of the courtroom, letting Jaken take care of the rest. Though the toad demon was frantic at times, he was very capable at handling Sesshomaru's wishes. They would be fulfilled as he desired them.

Exiting the courthouse through a side door, he strode swiftly to his Bentley. Slightly frustrated, he welcomed the cool blast of air that turning on the car illicited. While the idea that Kagura wouldn't show had crossed his mind, he had thought his threat to take Kisekimaru would ward off the possibility. Turning out into traffic, he had to admit that it was pure luck he had decided to prepare for the possibility at all. He had thought she wasn't that stupid. He thought the wind witch was many things, but stupid definitely not one of them

Forcibly ending any further thoughts on Kagura, he turned his attention to the papers he had acquired that morning. They were currently sitting in his briefcase in backseat, innocuous amongst the myriad of others there.

The results of the investigation he had rushed into the history of Himura Kagura since he had last seen her. As yet, he hadn't even glanced through them; he wasn't even sure if he wanted to peruse their depths. After he had so unceremoniously dumped and duped her, he hadn't paid her the slightest bit of attention. Certainly, he regretted the decision slightly, but he shared the blame with Kagura. She was the one that had fled after their liaison.

Pulling up to the elegant high rise that was his living space, Sesshomaru exited his car swiftly. Even though it was noon on a weekday, going to the office was one of the last things on his mind. He was more focused on what he would do after reading the papers. Most of Kagura's life revolved around their son, Kisekimaru, if the scant little he remembered of her eavesdropped confession was true. The main focus of his investigation was his son.

The words still sent a small jolt to a place he believed to be useless. Hand idly rubbing his chest, Sesshomaru strode into the elevator, itching to peruse the papers he held. The idea hadn't truly settled into his mind yet. He, Taisho Sesshomaru, had a son; he was a father and had been for seven years. It reeled to the core, the knowledge of the existence of his heir.

Within a few minutes, he was seated in his stiff desk chair, papers spread out before him. Copies of the birth certificate sat atop everything else, dominating his view. One detail jumped out at him in particular, drawing an intense rage from his chest far faster than anything else had done before.

Sitting on the line where the name of the father was supposed to go was pure white paper. Kagura's handwriting was missing from where it was supposed to be naming him the father.

Despite the rage bubbling dangerously in his chest, Sesshomaru kept his outward calm, only his eyes bleeding red betraying his feelings. His posture was impossibly tense for a few moments before he regained control over his emotions. Mentally caging the furious beast that roared within him, he continued looking though the papers before him. The thrown together summary from his investigator told him what little he wanted to know of Kagura and not nearly enough of his son.

Tossing the paper aside, he sifted through the others, reading ones that jumped out at him. Report cards from Kisekimaru's younger years, assignments of excellence that teachers had kept, praising notes from the staff at the Academy. All of them made a small part of Sesshomaru swell with fatherly pride; his son was the one receiving all the merits. His golden eyes gleamed as the words rolled over him, finally reaching the bottom of the pile.

There, pinned to another piece of paper, was a picture of Kisekimaru; from the looks of it, it was one of the school pictures. It almost startled him, the amount of resemblence held between father and son, but what drew him was Kisekimaru's eyes. There was no denying they were Kagura's, ruby and sparkling with a life that he knew his golden ones lacked.

Eventually pulling his eyes from the picture, Sesshomaru turned to the document to which it was pinned. A frown creased his face as he read the hospital report.

* * *

Kagura scowled as her ruby eyes scanned the scattered scene before her. From the other side of the bars, officers and desk workers flittered about in the station. Fury, indignation and worry vyed for the spotlight in the emotions roiling within her. Restlessly, her sharp nails drummed the metal of the bench she sat on, trying to resist the urge to claw through the bars.

Eventually, worry won out over the others, and her mind turned to Kisekimaru. Glancing at the clock just visible in the office, four was only thirty minutes in coming. The Academy released their students at four and, knowing the bureacracy she had to contend with, Kagura wouldn't be able to greet her baby with a smile and a hug as she had done for the last four years. With Jakotsu and Bankotsu out of commission, she wondered if anyone would be able to transport her baby safely to her.

Gnawing her lip, Kagura asked herself something she had been asking since she had been arrested. What the Hell had she been arrested for? Her mind scurried through all the laws she may or may not have broken. There was no car to disobey traffic laws with, all her bills were paid up, if just barely, and she had been nothing but charming to her rich bar hoppers at the Black Diamond. She dismissed what the officers had touted to her during her arrest; in her recollection, there had been no contract. Hell, in her life, there was no time for anything outside of the routine she so tightly ran.

Kagura stared off into space for a long time, wracking her brain for what she had done. Out of the corner of her eye, something silver bobbed and caught her attention.

For a heartstopping moment, she wondered if she had finally lost it. Her heart slammed back into action just as she realized she hadn't.

Speaking calmly with the demon officer that had handcuffed her was Sesshomaru, a complacent but shy Kisekimaru standing beside him. Dimly, she was aware of her jaw hanging slack and the ridiculous picture she made wasn't how she wanted Sesshomaru to see her again. The inertia she hadn't felt since just after their breakup kept her from moving a muscle. Her eyes began to hone in on the tall figure she hated, feared, and desired in equal measures. There was only one thing that could break the trance she was settling in.

"Ama!" The squeal of happiness snapped her back to reality, and her shining ruby orbs met their younger, happier clones. The you Taiyoukai launched himself at the bars, blindly trusting that his Ama would keep him from any harm. Older ruby eyes sparked with life as her powers flared to spare her child the pain of slamming into the bars.

The cushion of air that greeted him illicted a giggle, and Kagura heaved a sigh of relief through her smile. Even though she hadn't picked him up, her entire world still loved her. The mere thought of it lifted more weight than she thought it would.

His smaller hands gripped the fabric of her shirt through the bars, clenching in the way she knew he only did when he had many things to tell her of his day. All it took was a glance at Sesshomaru, and she knew exactly why her son was so excited.

"Kisekimaru, step back from the bars. Now." Though said in complete monotone, mother and child shivered. Their arms tightened on each other for an instant before Kisekimaru tried to step away from his Ama. "Come here." The boy did as he was told, his shoulders almost folding into a slump.

Pain wracked Kagura's heart as he walked to his father, suddenly realizing she could no longer keep his paternity away from him. Her son seemed to march robotically to his father.

"We will go to get ice cream with Rin after we're done here." And faster than she had ever been able, Sesshomaru twisted Kisekimaru's frown into a delighted smile. Under the layer of shock that numbed her, Kagura realized that Sesshomaru had managed to turn her baby against her with the things that she could not provide.

Trips to Disneyland, ice cream, going to fairs, buying cookies, having candy; they all conspired against her as she saw that her child had been essentially bought from her.

The rational part of her mind struggled to stay afloat in her emotional mess, screaming desperately that Kisekimaru didn't know that the childish pleasures Sesshomaru could provide couldn't match the love she gave him. Seconds extended into years as her baby floated away from her, happy on the cushy, monetary cloud that she couldn't provide.

Her dull eyes drifted up and landed on the man that caused everything.

The churning despair in her gut froze as icy anger rushed in on a furious wind. While her mind was warring with emotions, her body stayed stock still, every muscle clenched to the point of pain. Not an ounce of it registered as she glared at Sesshomaru.

"How about I take this little guy off your hands for a while?" Reality slammed back into her, nearly stealing the breath from her lungs at the sound of the officer Sesshomaru had been speaking to. "I can escort you to the interrogation room so you can speak in peace." The maternal instincts in Kagura roared to life, snarling that no being, demon, human or otherwise, was going to lay a finger on her baby.

One heartstopping glare from Sesshomaru stunned her into paralysis, the pure fury contained within that gaze enough to make her think twice about doing even the slightest thing against him. Her eyes never left his, even as she vaguely registered that Kisekimaru was being led away and she out of her cell. Whatever confrontation Sesshomaru had in mind, his eyes only fortold of terrible things.


	7. Blackmail is Negotiating

**Chapter Six**

After what seemed both an eternity and an instant later, Kagura found herself staring down the last man she had ever wanted to be alone with. The soft click of the lock sent a chill down her spine, but she shoved it down. Years of growing up in her fathers house taught her that men like Sesshomaru could smell fear; they thrived on it if so allowed.

The image of her baby traipsing away from her fresh in mind, she tightened her hold on the icy winds of anger. Unpredictability was one of the many things about herself she knew Sesshomaru disliked, one of the many things he couldn't control. She could only hope the foggy lessons beaten into her as a child would aid and not hinder.

The silence between them was nearly tangible. Sesshomaru stalked with his usual silent grace to the chair across the table. Kagura sat so rigid she could already feel her back muscles protesting the strain. It was trivial compared to the need to show no weakness, give no quarter.

Over the table, their eyes met, both blazing with fury. Despite the growing tension and air pressure of the room, neither occupant spoke a word. They each dared the other to break and speak first. Kagura was the first to fold.

"Trying to buy my son from me?" The cool reserve of her business voice was working as well as ever, despite its age. Sesshomaru's eyes flashed with smugness before settling into a detached look.

"Trying?" He countered, pride evident in his voice, "Doing so actually. I'm surprised you could even take care of him. What with your… salary." Kagura grit her teeth behind pursed lips. As much as her demonic side wanted to, she didn't sink to counter his jibe with her own. She was keenly aware that he still held the upper hand.

"What is this nonsense about a court date and contract, Sesshomaru?" She worked to keep her voice as smooth as she remembered Naraku's being when she was allowed to sit in on business meetings. "I signed nothing and had no notice of a date. We both know what you're doing is illegal." Crossing her legs as best she could, she dared him to refute her claims.

"Of course it is." He replied graciously, a small quirk at the corner of his mouth. "But hiding my son from me was as well." He had a point, she was willing to admit. And she was still on the defense.

"Then we are at an impasse." She blandly noted, tapping a clawed finger against the wood. It was a sign of agitation that was not lost on either of them. They both knew the vulnerability of her position.

"I am willing to make you a deal." Kagura watched in dull amazement at the change that went over him. He had gone from smug and arrogant to business-like and negotiable in two seconds. "Cease all connection with my son, allow his family name to be changed to the rightful one, and I will make sure there is twenty million dollars in your bank account every year at New Years." Her jaw would have hit the floor at his brazen offer had she been missing even one iota of the control she had developed. Her entire being was in full agreement as to her choice words in response to his offer.

"Fuck that." Her guttural snarl drew a raised eyebrow from her son's father, but she could have cared less. Only nearing eight years old, he was far from ready to leave her love and protection. "I would rather die." The cold smirk that slid across Sesshomaru's face reminded her far too much of the one worn by Naraku.

"While that can be arranged," he hedged dangerously, smirk dropping into a glare, "I would rather not have a scandal on my family. Though I'm sure you wouldn't understand." Her fingers dug sharply into the wood of the interrogation table at his jibe on her past. As though he wasn't part of the reason for the minor scandal on the Himura family disowning her had caused.

Tense silence settled once more, the analog clock ticking loudly in the demons' ears. Each tick put Kagura more and more on edge, more and more willing to make an unfavorable deal. The seconds felt like hours as they sat in silence, each one a further strain on her already taut nerves.

"May I remind you of some things, Kagura?" Against her will, her body shivered as he said her name. "The paparazzi have already seen Kisekimaru; they know I have another child in my possession, but they do not know anything else. They don't know his name, your name, why he's with me, or why we're here. That can all change in an instant. It depends on what choice you make." Memories of the bloodthirsty hounds that had followed her after being disowned were dredged from a far corner of her mind. The humiliating questions, the scandalous articles, the mobs that followed her; they all fought to place a grimace on her face. She suppressed it as well as she could, but the small curl of Sesshomaru's lip told her she had failed.

"He's my son too." She murmured, head bowed in resignation. "You can't keep him from me." Sesshomaru glared, his golden eyes piercing her painfully.

"Like you tried to keep him from me?" He hissed, a hint of red seeping into the corners of his eyes. Kagura's eyes widened, a tendril of fear escaping the iron grip of her control. The hair on the nape of her neck stood on end. "All that I am doing to you, I am doing only as payment for what you did to me. Now, we can come to a compromise, or I can let loose the human journalists. You will never have peace in your life again."

Age old fears warred with her desire to protect her son. Kisekimaru came first in all things, but he was out of her reach, out of her protection. Like she had been before he came into her life, she was alone and left to fend for herself.

"Your decision must be reached," Sesshomaru's voice was distant, barely reaching her mind, "but not right this instant. We have other things to discuss." Kagura's head slowly lifted, her ruby eyes dulled with a resignation that brought a bittersweet satisfaction to Sesshomaru.

The winds of her heart were doldrums still as Sesshomaru lifted a briefcase she hadn't noticed before. A file she recognized well was slid across the table, opened to a page that still brought pangs to her heart. She fought to keep her eyes dry as they lifted to Sesshomaru in question.

"Why do we have to discuss this?" She whispered, knowing he would hear loud and clear, "All of it is explained here." Her hand flopped in a weak gesture towards the pages laid out before her. He leveled a steady gaze at her, making her flinch under the intensity.

"Not all of it." He murmured, clawed finger pointing to a line amongst the others. "Why wasn't it prevented?" She read the sentence he referred to and sighed.

"As much as you hate to admit it," she said, resting her forehead in her hand, "I am a strong demonness, just short of being Taiyoukai. There are scant few that can challenge me and walk away unscathed or alive." Grudgingly, Sesshomaru nodded. He was well aware of how strong she was; there were only a few demons who would even contemplate challenging her.

She gave a wan smile at his concession. "Being a mix of both of us, Kisekimaru will be stronger than both of us. Doctors and midwives, demon and human alike, are rarely powerful. Kisekimaru blocked the demon doctors and shorted the human technology when they tried to do scans of him. I only knew it was a boy because he gave off so much power." This drew a prideful smirk from Sesshomaru, knowing his son was so strong, even before coming into the world.

"I had a rough pregnancy because the doctors could do little to check on him." She continued, a deep frown marring her face as she reminisced. "We only learned he was a Taiyoukai when I went on my tenth month of pregnancy. The risks went up the longer I was pregnant, and he still blocked the doctors. When I finally gave birth, no one was prepared when he came out with his umbilical cord around his neck." A deep shudder wracked her at the memory, still enough to make her heart spasm in pain and fear.

"He almost died, Sesshomaru," she whispered, "and I could have done nothing about it. UnMated births bring death to half of the mothers; I was lucky to even stay awake. The only reason he's still alive is because of the quick thinking and action of one of the human nurses. That type of thing is far more common among humans than demons."

The heavy silence weighed down on the two demons, both muted as the gravity of Kisekimaru's near death hit them. Sesshomaru was the first to shake off the small shock.

"You still have a choice to make," he affirmed, noting the jump of Kagura's muscles as he brought her from her reverie, "regardless of the past." Kagura didn't miss the way his entire demeanor returned to that cold, detached businessman she had grown up seeing in her father. Sitting up straighter, she forced herself to mirror his posture. If nothing else, she at least wanted to look ready for a fight.

"I want to be able to see my baby." She asserted coolly, crossing her arms before her. "I brought him into the world and raised him for seven years. It's my right." Sesshomaru raised a brow at her demands.

"You think you're in a position to bargain?" He asked, voice smoother than velvet. Kagura forcefully stopped the shudder that threatened her spine. "I hold the control here; you can agree to my terms, or face the paparazzi when I set them loose on you with a scandal. Either way, my terms will be agreed to; it all depends on whether you want it done the easy way, or the hard way." As Kagura stared him down, she realized something that she had missed.

Sesshomaru wasn't out to get back at her, or make her life miserable by taking away the only thing that mattered to her. His eyes didn't hold the spark of vengeance that had been so often present in her father's eyes as he did business. Sesshomaru sincerely wanted his son, and he would stop at nothing to get him.

"If I agree to this," she began, forcing herself to sit as tall as she could, "I at least want to see Kisekimaru at Christmas and on his birthday. I know that you never got to see him, but damn it Sesshomaru, I raised him. Alone. Half the reason you never saw him, was because you said you never wanted to see me. You were the first person I wanted to go to when I found out I was pregnant, but you wanted nothing to do with the campus bet. I knew you could probably give him a better life than me, but I had thought you wouldn't want to see the leftovers from the stupid bet you won." The anger in her voice was magnified by the gust that emphasized her statement. Her ruby eyes sparked as she stared down the man that single-handedly ruined her life and gave her the greatest gift she had ever received.

Sesshomaru stared down the wind witch, slightly unsettled by the sudden anger and growth of a backbone. He knew that he had been treading on dangerous grounds since the beginning but it was obvious that there was only so far he could push before she would push back.

"Then we have a deal." He said at length, drawing out papers. "You will only see him on those days, unless you get lucky enough to see him on TV." There was a faint smirk on his face as he revised a paragraph before sliding the paper and pen to Kagura. Her heart beat frantically as she stared at the ominous objects. Doubts sprinted across her mind before she shoved them away and grabbed the pen.

With little flourish, she signed the paper and set down the pen, an unexplained weight settling into her stomach. As she shook hands with the man that shook up her world, she couldn't push back the feeling that she had just signed her baby and her life away.

* * *

A/N- Please don't expect quick updates like this one. This chapter just extended off the last one, with almost no pause. Are you guys okay with 1500 to 2000 word chapters instead of 3000 words or so? Please let me know.


	8. Missing: Happiness

**Chapter Seven**

Sitting alone in Bankotsu's apartment, Kagura knew she should have been getting ready for work. The bar of the Black Diamond opened in twenty minutes, and she had yet to even leave her pajamas. Despite the nagging in the back of her head, she kept her eyes glued to the television. In the fading light of the evening, two silver heads bobbed in the electronic box.

Her heart swelled and broke as she saw the happy smile on her son's face, standing beside his father. She ignored the chirpy voice of the gossip reporter, focusing instead on the child she had signed away. There was no denying that he seemed happier than he ever had with her.

Even though it had only been a week since signing the contract, Kagura felt emptier than she ever had before. The jobs that had been hollow before seemed hopeless without the motivation of feeding, clothing, and cheering Kisekimaru behind them. Despite being the manager and bartender at the Black Diamond, she felt unfulfilled. As the reporter signed off, Kagura felt the closest thing she had to joy slipping away.

Standing, she tried to push away the empty feeling in her chest even as she pictured Kisekimaru's smile. While she had come to grips with the fact that Sesshomaru had essentially bribed their son away from her, she couldn't get over the fact that Kisekimaru had willingly gone. In her mind, the voice that sounded suspiciously like Jakotsu reminded her that he was only enjoying the new privileges that came with having money. It was only a matter of time before he missed the comfort brought on by her voice and embrace. Despite her best efforts to believe in that hope, her heart did nothing but sink.

Her routine was mechanical and she swiftly found herself pushing open the side door to the Black Diamond. The murmur of orders from the regulars gave her an odd measure of relief, knowing that some things didn't change. Down at the end of the bar, Koga waited for her like he did every other night.

"Absinthe, if you please." He croaked, looking more a wreck than she had ever seen him. Shoving down her own sorrows, she put on her empathetic bartender facade, frowning at his state.

"What happened to you?" She grabbed the label less bottle and poured him a tall glass. He seemed to need it.

Koga didn't reply until he had taken a sip of the powerful liquor. "My deal with the sports line I had signed maybe a month ago got terminated. I wasn't presenting 'the right image' for their company." He grunted humorlessly and downed the drink. Kagura cringed as she noted that he didn't even flinch as it went down. She didn't want to see the track star drink himself out of his career and into an early grave.

"You're drinking yourself to Hell, my friend." She warned as she poured him another drink. He just threw the money on the counter, ignoring her. It took a lot of willpower not to roll her eyes at him. Kikyou wasn't as great as he seemed to think she was. She was just one more money grubbing fiend among the women of Japan. "Yell when you want another." And with that, she swept back down the bar, attending to the numerous orders that were coming now that the bar was open.

* * *

Opening the door to his Bentley, Sesshomaru wasn't shocked to find the reporters that had congregated at the curb. As he stepped up, they mobbed forward, bulbs flashing and questions abounding. Unlike the days before, however, they kept a two foot berth between themselves and the demon. He ignored their prying voices, sharp ears picking up the sound of the dismissal bell of the Academy. Though the press was irritating, he couldn't help but feel satisfied knowing Kagura would see their son happy with him.

Snapping himself from his reverie, he noticed the identical head of silver hair bobbing out of the building. The journalists parted like the Red Sea to admit his son to him. It was almost quiet, save the click of cameras, as Kisekimaru walked towards his father. Rin was not far behind, attracting a few 'Aww…'s from the women in the crowd as she bounded around her new brother, flashing a brilliant smile to all.

As the new siblings reached their father, the questions from the press exploded once more. Sesshomaru quickly ushered his children into the car, hoping to save them from the more rude questions he would have to fend off. With them settled into the back seat, he turned to face the mob that had waited for him.

"Sesshomaru, Sesshomaru! How long have you known about the boy?"

"Who's the mother? Did she just give up her son?"

"Are you worried about the implications of an UnMated birth?"

Frowning, Sesshomaru rehearsed his terse words for the impromptu press release. His words would be all over the news by morning.

"While I have not known about the boy for long, he is my son, regardless of the relationship between his parents. Mated or not, I am his father and he is my son. His mother wishes to remain anonymous, and I have enough respect for her to request it stays that way." Small speech given, he walked around the car and started it up, ignoring the desperate cries with more questions. He managed to maneuver the car out of the lot without hitting any off the buzzing reporters, despite how much he wanted to do just that.

Rin's giggling from the back seat caught his attention, eyes drifting to the rear view mirror. She was animatedly retelling her new brother a tale of her recess shenanigans. From his seat, Kisekimaru stared mutely out the window.

That had been something that had concerned him. Despite the boy's exuberance when he had seen his mother in jail, Kisekimaru had been near mute ever since. Rin had off-handedly commented that he had always been quiet like that, but it still bothered him. Even he hadn't been that quiet as a child, usually imperiously commanding the servants at his parent's country house.

The drive to his high rise home took little time, and his children scrambled from the back seat, Rin charging ahead of her brother with laughter on her lips.

"Come on Kisekimaru!" She called back, eyes sparkling with life, "I'll race you to the elevator!" She sprinted off without waiting for a response, Kisekimaru eying her back speculatively. Sesshomaru observed his son closely, leaning against his car. Kisekimaru waited long enough for Rin to think she would win before using his demonic speed to catch up, passing her at the last second. She burst into giggles, drawing the smallest smile from Kisekimaru.

"Come on, Papa!" Rin hollered, waving frantically at him, "We want to go upstairs. Mister Jaken promised to make us cookies." Sesshomaru rolled his eyes, knowing that Rin had cajoled and manipulated the toad demon to her will. Jaken had a certain dislike for humans, but he would grudgingly do what Rin asked him.

Still, as he strode toward his children, Sesshomaru couldn't help wondering about his son. Despite his dislike for the demonness, Kagura seemed to have raised Kisekimaru well. The boy was polite, considerate of others, and didn't ask for very much. He only took what he was given and no more, most likely a side effect of having been raised on the edge of poverty.

He was pulled from his thoughts as Rin's hand slipped into his, tugging him more insistently towards the elevator. He allowed the slightest smile to grace his face, eyes looking down on his little girl. Despite her being human and not related to him by any blood, he cared for the girl the same way he did Kisekimaru.

"Kisekimaru, now you're the slow one." Her happiness was infectious and Sesshomaru looked down at his son and heir. Though his face was perfectly placid, Sesshomaru could spy the shining glints of happiness in his son's ruby eyes. "Hurry up! You do want cookies, don't you?" Kisekimaru nodded shyly, picking up his pace to match theirs. Rin hummed happily and led her family towards the elevator.

Keeping his eyes on his son, Sesshomaru couldn't help but notice the immense similarities between himself and his son. Their features matched almost to a tee, even down to the crescent that adorned their foreheads. The only striking difference was their eyes and it struck a profound note with Sesshomaru.

As Sesshomaru continued to assess his son, Kisekimaru glanced up and Sesshomaru found himself staring into Kagura's eyes. It jolted him into stillness for a moment, drawing the attention of his children just outside the elevator. He quickly broke eye contact and continued forward.

"If you finish you dinners, I will allow you to stay up an hour later than usual." Rin squealed with joy, bounding over to her brother to exaggerate the importance of his words. Sesshomaru, having effectively diffused the situation, pressed the button for the elevator and allowed himself to drift back to his train of thought.

As though mocking him, Kagura had given their child one of the things that had always fascinated him when they were dating: her eyes. Despite it having been mostly a sham, Sesshomaru had found a certain delight in staring at Kagura's eyes toward the end of their relationship. They had the most peculiar habit of sparkling when she was happy, excited, or angry. In response, he had done what he could to keep her in the former states, indulging in his selfish desire to watch her eyes shine and glint like rubies as a result.

"Mister Sesshomaru?" Kisekimaru's voice instantly caught his attention. "When will I see Ama?" The question brought a heavy silence to the already cramped atmosphere of the elevator. Sesshomaru, nonplussed by the question, stared down at his son in silence. How to answer the question? The truth was not a reply that any child attached to their mother would want to hear.

"Papa? When will I get to meet Kisekimaru's Mama?" Rin's voice pulled him from his harried thoughts, forcing him to articulate an answer and quickly.

"Your birthday," He said blandly, "When Kisekimaru turns eight, we will see Kagura again."

* * *

It was nearly dawn by the time the last of the bar's patrons left. Kagura, wiping down the counter for the last time, glanced down at the end of the bar. With his head propped on folded arms, Koga slept the heavy sleep of the near lethally intoxicated. Thoughts of pity swarmed through her mind, but she pushed them away. If their places were reversed, pity was the last thing she would want from anyone.

Though she knew that she should have forced him out with the rest of the drunks, some part of her didn't want to force him out in his state. In the two weeks she had known him, he had gone from a near drinking newbie to an absinthe guzzling veteran. It pained the mother in her to see him drink his life and career away, especially over a woman undeserving of his grief.

Wiping up the last spill on the counter, Kagura headed over to the former track star. Even in the dim lights of the club, she could see the scruff growing on his jaw and the bags under his eyes. Were she not a guest in Bankotsu's home herself, she would have dragged him upstairs and let him sleep off the alcohol. The gaping hole in her heart needed someone to care for and baby.

Cringing at her wandering thoughts, she tried to force out the sadness that came with thinking about her baby, but it was no use. They entrenched themselves quickly, drawing a fresh well of tears to the surface. Steadfastly, she refused to blink and let them fall. Even if he wasn't there to witness them, she wouldn't give Sesshomaru the satisfaction of making her cry over his victory. She may have needed Kisekimaru the way she needed air, but she would cry only when she had him safely back with her.

Kagura was drawn abruptly back into reality by a loud crash and the ensuing growl. She whipped around to find a more and more awake Koga sprawled on the ground, near snarling in pain. Her ruby eyes rolled as she marched towards him, reaching behind the bar for the Motrin she stored there.

"Welcome to morning, sunshine." She drawled, voice soft despite the biting sarcasm. "Need some pills?" Koga just growled more, holding up a weak hand. She smirked and dropped them in his palm, watching with some satisfaction as he winced while he dry swallowed them. Job momentarily done, she hopped up on the counter to watch him try to struggle awake.

"What the fuck?" His voice was hoarse and thick, layered with drink and sleep.

"You drank yourself into a stupor, slept, then fell off the bar stool." Kagura supplied helpfully as the track star managed to sit up. She gave a saccharine smile as he peeked open an eye, clawed fingers massaging his temples.

"Hn…" She chuckled softly at his answering grunt, resting her cheek in her palm. "So why am I not in a taxi with the rest of the drunks?" It seemed he knew the etiquette of dumping drunks on their asses well. Still, she didn't reply, not quite wanting to admit the answer, even to herself. Instead she hauled herself off the counter to help him slowly to his feet. Redepositing him on the stool, she slipped behind the counter once more, a sly smile on her face.

"I didn't get to tell you my problems," she said as he stared, grabbing a glass to clean, "So I'll be kicking you out after you hear me out." Koga's lip lifted in a smirk, some of the sadness in his eyes washing away before her.

"Fair enough." He relaxed as best he could in the high chair, watching her with intense blue eyes. "What's eating you bartender?" Kagura let the corners of her lips lift in a small smile before they fell harshly. Steeling herself against the tears she knew would come, she spoke.

"Sesshomaru finally found out about Kisekimaru." The words were flat to her ears, lacking the turmoil she felt whipping up a storm in her heart. "I hid for eight years, was rooted out like a rat, and my baby was taken from me. All I get is twenty million at New Years and the chance to see him twice a year." Her voice wavered unsteadily as she spoke, but she finished with nary a tear in sight. Her teeth dug painfully into her bottom lip to ensure that.

"Sounds like a pretty sweet deal if you ask me." Koga's terse words made every muscle in Kagura's body snap to rigid attention. "You got a kid off your back, twenty mill in your pocket each year, and you only have to see him twice."

The gale that tore through the Black Diamond slammed Koga into the far wall. His eyes widened in shock and pain as he watched Kagura stalk toward him, murder written in her sparkling eyes.

"How dare you?" She snarled once she was nose to nose with him. "What do you know about having children? Kisekimaru was my _life_, my reason for living. Now, he's gone and no amount of money can replace the gaping hole he left behind." Another gale heaved the track star towards the door, Kagura not far behind. The winds howled as she threw open the doors. Koga was thrown from the club to the curb, bewilderment written all over his features.

"Clean up Koga," Kagura bit out tersely, "Get over Kikyou and find yourself a girl you can have kids with. Maybe then you'll know how I feel when you don't want to even imagine losing your babies." With a loud slam, the door was shut, and Kagura left alone in the now disorderly club. Her anger ebbing away with the echo of the slam, she set about fixing what damage her temperamental winds had caused.

* * *

"Good night Kisekimaru."

"Good night Mr. Sesshomaru." From his plush bed, Kisekimaru could see the man he was near identical to pause in the doorway before exiting, shutting the door behind him. Left in the darkness save for the moonlight, Kisekimaru had time to reflect on past days.

Everything about living with Rin and her guardian was new and exciting. He remembered the first time he had gone to an amusement park, the Friday after he began staying with them. The memory made him smile, lips barely turning up at the corners. All the things that Mr. Sesshomaru provided that Ama could not were fascinating and desirable. It made him happy just knowing he had but to ask for something and he would receive. However, even those things felt slightly empty.

The gears turning in his mind, Kisekimaru struggled to realize what felt so wrong about his new life. Rin was his friend again, Mr. Sesshomaru could get him anything he wanted, and all those people called paparazzi loved him. In the back of his mind however, the picture of his mother in the cage floated freely, surfacing repeatedly.

He knew well he was a bright child, even if he said very little to anyone but his Ama. He knew that his Ama had been in jail; he knew that Sesshomaru was his father, even if his Ama had tried to hide it. There was no denying a resemblance so striking.

Sighing, Kisekimaru snuggled deeper into the soft covers, inhaling deeply. He missed the smell of his Ama, the way he could go to sleep with her smell on his silver blanket. He wanted her hugs and butterfly kisses in the morning back. The affectionate pats to the head Mr. Sesshomaru sometimes gave him before school were a poor substitute.

The backs of his eyes began to itch with tears as he wished for his Ama. Despite knowing she frowned upon crying, he let his tears slip out, ignoring the salty smell that permeated the air. Even Ama would understand; she would likely be ready with a butterfly kiss and his favorite dinner, lasagna. Knowing he would see her on his birthday was little comfort. June 10th seemed years away, even though less than two months would need to pass. Kisekimaru just wanted his Ama, not Opa.


	9. Situational Compromises

**Chapter Eight**

"Have a nice day Rin, Kisekimaru." Patting his children on their heads, he smiled down at them as best he could. Rin flashed him a megawatt smile, but Kisekimaru just stared up at him, lips hardly quirking in the slightest.

"Bye Papa! Have a nice day too!" He watched in amusement as his daughter none too gently elbowed her brother in the ribs, prompting him to speak as well.

"Have a nice day, Mr. Sesshomaru." Those words said, they turned and went off to school. Sesshomaru frowned at the back of his son's head, contemplating the quiet words.

Ever since he had gained custody, Kisekimaru had been calling him 'Mr. Sesshomaru'. While it had been understandable in the first few days, it had been nearly two weeks. The beast in him roared to be acknowledged, growling at the thought that Kagura had poisoned their son against him. Logic countered quickly, stating that Kisekimaru was a child and Sesshomaru was considered a stranger. Trust didn't come easy in children, especially when they found themselves in a situation with nothing familiar.

He needed to be patient and the endearment would come in time. He conjured the absurd conversation that would surely occur were he to ask his son to call him 'father' or some other moniker for the paternal figure in one's life. It pained him to even think of the situation.

Sighing, Sesshomaru turned back to his car and buckled up. Replaying the last two weeks in his mind, he couldn't help but wonder if he should contact Kagura. By the scene he had caused in the jail, it was clear Kisekimaru was the most comfortable with his mother. She would certainly be able to give him the best advice on how to help their child open up to him.

Mentally noting to decide later, Sesshomaru drove off to work, mind filling with what he needed to accomplish.

* * *

Standing in the predawn air, Kagura took a drag on the cigarette clutched in her fingers. Even as the nicotine settled comfortably in her lungs, she couldn't help but feel a shiver of disappointment. She had picked up the vice from her father, but with the arrival of Kisekimaru in her body she had quit cold turkey. Even though her life had been even more stressful with her son, he had been a wonderfully calming agent at the end of the day; far better than any of the nicotine she had inhaled in her lifetime.

With Kisekimaru gone, the urge to smoke again had been unbearable; she had cracked after four days and bought her first packet in nearly a decade. Though she managed to keep herself down to a pack every five days, she knew it was only a matter of time before she was back to a pack a day.

The dancing smoke on the air entertained her after a long shift at the bar. Towards the end, she had been counting down the minutes to closing time and her first drag of the new day. It disgusted her even as she inhaled more.

As she watched the first hint of the sun peek over the horizon, Kagura reflected on the ease with which she returned to her vices. Smoking was only the second that had returned to haunt her. The inertia that had dominated her after her break up with Sesshomaru had settled in her bones. Bar tending to the rich and famous no longer held even the humour she had once found in it. Getting out of bed in the morning was the hardest part of her day, knowing Kisekimaru wouldn't tackle her with a bright 'Good morning Ama!' as she drank her coffee.

Deep down inside, a small part of her was disgusted with how she found herself relying on someone else for happiness. It screamed its independence of others, rebelling against the attachments brought on by motherhood. That small part of her still smoked, still spurned others, and still had the steel-trap mind necessary for running a business; the fruits of her father's brainwashing still resided near the core of her being.

Dropping her vice and smashing it beneath her toe, she turned back to enter the Black Diamond and go to sleep. Demons assuaged for the time being, she could force herself to follow the routine she had established just after the disastrous meeting with Sesshomaru. Guilt crashed over her in soul shaking waves as she thought of how she had signed away her baby. Logic reasoned that his life would be better with Sesshomaru; the man, she was loathe to admit, could easily provide for their son. The mother in her mourned the loss of a child too soon, grieving as though he had passed on to the next life.

Even though she repeatedly told Kisekimaru that tears solved little, she felt her own streaming from her eyes. At the back of her mind a voice that sounded like Jakotsu reminded her that it was only a month and half until Kisekimaru's birthday.

"It's still too long." She whispered to the unanswering silence. Opening the door to Bankotsu's apartment, she doubted she would survive the month and a half. Still, she strove to last and see him again; she wanted to see the only light in her life one more time.

* * *

"Kisekimaru! Why are you and Mister Jaken walking so slow? The park is just around the corner!" Rin's excited voice floated back to the young demon, bright with excitement and energy. Despite her wish for him to hurry, he kept his pace the same. For reasons he couldn't even begin to guess, the enticement of the park no longer held the appeal it once did.

Sighing, he barely heard the squawking response of the toad demon that walked beside him. Once bright ruby eyes scanned the urban streets around him with boredom. Nothing around him was familiar, save the bouncing Rin who had run up ahead. However, even she couldn't lift the heavy wish in his heart for something warm and familiar. The soothing scent of his Ama, the glitter of the blanket he had left at home, even the awful taste of the vitamins she had made him take when they sat down for breakfast in the mornings.

Rin's excited squeals distracted him from his increasingly saddened wishes; they had arrived. It was with a harsh jolt to his heart that Kisekimaru recognized the park where they were to play.

On weekends that his Ama had no work, she would take him to the park in the city. There they would play tag, hide and seek, ride the swings, and go down the slides together. And when his Ama would get tired and beg to sit down, he would play quietly beside her with rocks and twigs he had picked up during their playtime. She would always play pretend with his rocks, acting out epic battles between the armies he built in his mind.

Tears welled up in his eyes as it felt like a hand was squeezing his heart. He stopped short of the pebbles that started the playground, hand flying to his chest to try and ease his unknown pain. His eyes flew to the bench where his Ama had always sat to rest, hoping desperately she would be there with a hug and a butterfly kiss waiting for him. She was not, only adding to the constricting feeling in his heart.

"Mister Jaken?" Kisekimaru's voice was hushed, soft from lack of use in the past two weeks. "Why does my heart hurt so much?" The toad demon paused, taking in the appearance of his young master with yellow bug eyes. Seeing the tears sparkling in the young demon's eyes, the toad fought down panic, knowing his master wouldn't be happy if he caught wind of Kisekimaru crying.

"I… I don't know, young master!" He shrieked, hands flapping uselessly in attempt to wave away the unshed tears. "Are you feeling ill?"

"My heart feels like its being… grabbed." Kisekimaru murmured, still staring at the bench and hoping his Ama would magically appear on it. "I… I miss my Ama." His voice wavered on his last words, even as he tried desperately to fight back tears. She had always said that they solved nothing and that he should make things better by fixing whatever was making him want to cry.

"You're just homesick." Jaken said, voice considerably calmer now that he knew what was bothering his charge so much. "That Kagura was no good; it's much better that you're with Lord Sesshomaru." There was an abrupt gust of wind as Kisekimaru felt anger surge in his chest, burying the pain in his heart. Jaken was bowled over as it was directed at him, head hitting the ground hard. He listened dazedly as Kisekimaru shouted.

"Don't talk about my Ama like that!" He yelled, young voice raised in anger for the first time. "I love her and don't like you talking about her like that!" Words spoken, he quickly ran into the park, vision swimming with tears of anger and sorrow. His demonic speed allowed him to cross the large area in seconds, stopping in front of the tree he always hid in while playing with his Ama. He scrambled up the branches quickly, immersing himself in the leaves. Only then did he let his tears flow, hand grasping helplessly above his heart.

He ignored the calls of Jaken and, later, Rin as they tried to coax him from the tree. He would descend only if his Ama were there. His tears continued as the minutes passed, lips moving in a silent plea for the one who could ease his pain.

* * *

Sitting in his study, Sesshomaru read the documents spread out before him for what seemed like the hundredth time. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he couldn't understand why his analysts were having such a difficult time in procuring the necessary stock for his hostile takeover. He knew there were few stocks left to be bought before his company would hold a majority share; the shareholders certainly couldn't be that unwilling to part with their stock for the price he was offering.

Pulling him abruptly from his frustrated musings was his cellphone, ringing obnoxiously from its place on the edge of his desk. He recognized the ringer immediately; Jaken was on the other end of the line. He vaguely wondered why his servant would be calling, considering he had only sent him to the park with his children barely an hour before. Shaking his head to rid himself of the frustrations caused by business, he plucked his cellphone from its place and answered.

"What is it Jaken?"

"My Lord!" Jaken's panic ridden voice screeched from the small speakers, causing Sesshomaru to jerk the phone from his sensitive ears. "You must come quickly! It's the young master, he's gone up a tree and refuses to come down and he won't listen to me or Rin and he's crying and-"

"Jaken!" Sesshomaru barked, cutting off his servant mid-rant. "Calm yourself and cease babbling. Where are you?" He heard the toad take a few shuddering breaths before answering.

"We're still at the park milord," he said slowly, "and the young master is up crying in a tree and refuses to come down. He won't even listen to Rin, and I don't know what else to do." His voice was nearing hysterical again towards the end of his words, but Sesshomaru butt in before the toad could continue.

"I will be over shortly." He snapped his phone shut and quickly stood from his desk, halfway out the door within seconds. At the back of his mind, a voice halfheartedly told him that he should have seen something like the situation coming. Ever since he had noticed Kisekimaru's room emitting the salty tang of tears at night, he should have been preparing for such a scenario. As he rushed down the stairs at demonic speeds, he kicked himself for not having expected anything.

When he cleared the exit to his building, he increased his speed to reach the park just down the street in seconds. His sharp eyes caught sight of Jaken and Rin beneath a tree, their faces up-turned and painted with worry. He had joined them in moments, the scent of tears hitting him harshly as he arrived. Rin turned her own teary face up to her father with wide eyes.

"Please get Kisekimaru down Papa!" She begged, small hands clasped tightly together. "His crying makes Rin sad too!" With a sigh, he knelt to comfort his distraught daughter.

"I will get him from the tree, I promise." He said solemnly, meeting her shimmering brown eyes unwaveringly. She stared at him for a few seconds before holding out a small hand, her quivering pinky finger extended.

"Pinky swear." She commanded softly, voice shaking. Sesshomaru allowed himself a small smile at her childish actions, wrapping his much larger pinky around her own regardless.

"I pinky swear." Satisfied, she released him and stepped back, sniffling as he stood. He slowly turned to face the tree, eyes searching for his son even as he addressed his servant and subordinate. "What caused Kisekimaru to take such shelter and refuse to come down Jaken?" He heard the harsh gulp come from beside him and suppressed a sigh.

"It's all my fault, milord!" The toad demon squawked, falling to his knees and bowing repeatedly, "He had asked me why his heart hurt, saying he missed his mother. I had said she was no good and he ran off. I wasn't thinking straight milord! This is entirely my fault and-"

"Quiet Jaken." Sesshomaru said simply, spotting his crying son high in the protective branches. "I will deal with you after the situation is handled." The demon fell silent instantly, only whimpering occasionally as Sesshomaru stepped closer to the tree.

"Kisekimaru," he called up flatly, "come down from the tree." He watched as his son peeked down through the branches. The exact replica of Kagura's eyes bore down on him, shining with shed and unshed tears. A pang slammed into his gut as he stared back, but he continued to stare up, reminding himself firmly that it wasn't Kagura.

"No!" The distraught boy yelled back, voice hoarse with tears. "I won't come down!" He reburied his head in his arms and continued keening. From down below, Sesshomaru sighed once more, feeling the beginnings of a headache forming behind his eyes.

"Why not?" He asked, wishing desperately that his son had a simple request and was only being childish. A small part of him scoffed, warning that Kisekimaru would never be that easy to please.

"I want my Ama!" Kisekimaru managed between increased sobs. "I-I miss her!" The scent of tears increased nearly threefold as it drifted down from the branches above, enveloping Sesshomaru uncomfortably. He had never enjoyed the scent, but coming from his son…

Calling Kagura was one of the last things he wanted to do. His beast roared vengeance, demanding Kagura be left out of the situation entirely. Looking at the big picture though, Sesshomaru could see few other options. The last thing he wanted was Kisekimaru to become even more uncomfortable with him, and that left him calling Kagura and asking for assistance. A part of him gawked at even contemplating having to ask for anything from her, but it was pushed harshly away.

"Jaken, make sure he doesn't fall." Those curt words to the toad demon, he strode away from the suffocating scent of Kisekimaru's tears. It was with great reluctance that he withdrew his cellphone from his pocket. Searching through his contacts list, he was vaguely glad he had put the number his investigator had given him in his phone in case of the odd emergency. The situation certainly was an _odd_ emergency.

* * *

In the dark of Bankotsu's apartment, Kagura felt the itch to light a cigarette. Sprawled on the floor and staring pointlessly up at the ceiling, she found little reason not to indulge herself. Sure, it would up her to six a day, but what was just one? The only argument against it was that she didn't want to work up the energy necessary to stand up and go outside. That, and both of them would be on her ass if they smelled so much as a _whiff_ of smoke in their apartment.

The popcorn ceiling provided a decent enough distraction, passing the time trying to count all the little bumps she could see. It was a futile effort, she knew, but what did she care? There was still too much time between when she had woken up and when the Black Diamond had to be opened. Dazedly, she realized she had lost count and would have to start again. Thinking obviously wasn't conducive to counting tiny objects from a distance.

_Ring!_ Kagura jumped and let loose a curse as she was startled once more from her counting. Her eyes drifted to the old cellphone that was jingling near her left hand. She stared in confusion as it rang out again. _Ring_! Jakotsu had already called and given her the update on Bankotsu's condition. No one else really called her, especially not after…

Harshly shutting down that train of though before she could start tearing up again, she grabbed the noisy device and glanced at the caller ID. _Ring!_

"A blocked number?" She muttered, eyebrows knit in confusion. Just who the Hell was trying to reach her? Shrugging and hoping it was worth the energy required to answer, she pressed the glowing talk button.

"Hello?" Her voice was quiet, not wanting to disturb the darkness she had surrounded herself with.

"Kagura." A shock ripped through her daze, forcing her to sit up.

"Sesshomaru?" He was certainly the last person she had expected. She had assumed the terms she had reluctantly agreed to extended to her son's father as well.

"I… need your help." Kagura would have sworn she was dreaming were it not for the disdain she could clearly hear in his voice. Just to be safe, she dug one of her claws sharply into her thigh. One muttered curse and a stinging thigh confirmed she was indeed awake.

"With what?" There was no small amount of bitterness in her tone. She doubted he actually needed her help; he was likely stringing her along. She couldn't come up with a logical reason as to why he would do that, but she ignored that small detail.

"It's Kisekimaru." _That_ caught her attention for effectively than anything else he could have said.

"What about him?" She snapped, worry and panic making her voice harsh. If Sesshomaru couldn't deal with the problem alone, it was obviously dire. She just hoped that she could actually help.

"I'm at the city park, and he's up in a tree." Kagura listened closely, picking up the faintest wisp of worry in Sesshomaru's tone. "He won't come down, and… he's demanding to see you." Relief wasn't a strong enough word to describe what Kagura felt flowing through her body. Her back lost its rigidity, and she slumped to the floor once more, a delirious smile drifting about her lips.

"God, you scared me." She murmured, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. "I thought it was something serious. I thought I was going to be heading for the hospital." Her voice wavered with emotion, and there was a pause on the other end as he soaked up her words.

"No, it's not so serious as that." He amended, the barest hint of apology seeping into his tone. Neither said anything as they contemplated such a visit. "That out of the way, I still have to ask that you come to the park."

"Why don't you just pluck him out?" Kagura asked, even as she rose from the floor. She wasn't so stupid as to let a chance to see her baby slip through her fingers. There was a heavy sigh that caused her to raise an eyebrow. So unlike the Sesshomaru she remembered.

"He is… distant from me." He explained quietly. She hummed agreement; she had taught her son to be wary of strangers, no matter how nice they were. "I don't want to give him more reason to close himself off from me; he rarely even speaks to Rin now." That little tidbit surprised Kagura, seeing as Kisekimaru had been nearly bursting with joy when he had spoken of Rin. She knew it would be hard for him to adjust to the abrupt transition in his life, but she had hoped that the little girl would help ease his passage.

"I see." She slipped on a pair of sandals she spotted near the front door, thankful that Jakotsu and she were nearly identical in size. "I'll be there in a few minutes." She pulled the phone away from her ear, but was stopped.

"Kagura!" She quickly shoved it back to her ear, humming to assure him she was still there. There was a long pause before he spoke. "Thank you." The words were quiet, but even she could hear the sincerity behind them. The childish urge to rub it in his face that Kisekimaru liked her better waned considerably.

"I'll see what I can do to get him to warm up to you." She practically whispered at length. "I'm his parent just as much as you are Sessh; I know how you must be feeling to have him ignore you at every turn." There was another long silence as Kagura stepped out of the apartment, plucking a feather from her hair. The light of the sun made her flinch, but she ignored it the best she could.

"I'll be there in a few." She said as the white feather grew in size.

"Of course." Conversation over, she pressed the end button and jumped onto her feather. It was only a matter of seconds before she was high in the air, a gale pushing wildly at her back.

* * *

A/N- My _deepest_ apologies for taking so long. If you wish to see my excuses, check out my profile. Thank you for reading and reviewing.


	10. Starting to Give

A/N- I had an epiphany while writing this chapter and would appreciate it if all my readers would head over to my profile and read my update there. It pertains to this story strongly and I want to clear something up that comes up a lot in reviews. Thank you in advance.

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

Sesshomaru sighed as he gently closed his cellphone. His pride stung from his admissions, but the conversation had ended in his favor. Not only would Kagura talk their son out of the tree, but she would try to open the boy to him. A heavy feeling settled in his gut as he thought of her gift to him.

It was so far removed from the picture of her he had built up over the years. He had imagined her to be brash, lively, cynical, and stubborn; much the same Kagura she had been before they had entered into a relationship. This new Kagura, forced alone into motherhood, was gentler, more settled, and obviously a caregiver. Even if he refused to admit it, the weight settling into his abdomen felt suspiciously like guilt. Whether it was his cold actions regarding their break up, or his ruthless retrieval of their son, he couldn't be entirely sure.

What truly added to the weight in his stomach was what she had called him. He wasn't certain she even realized what she had said, but it had shocked him into silence. She had taken to calling him Sessh halfway through their relationship; he remembered her teasing him about how long his name was. No one had ever given him a nickname before, and he hadn't seen the harm of letting her do as she wished at the time, considering the actual state of their situation.

Shaking himself from his journey into the past, Sesshomaru strode back to the tree that held his still crying son. The cloying scent of tears was overwhelming, and he fought the urge to sneeze to clear it from his sensitive nose. Once more he found himself staring up into the tree, eyes flying to where Kisekimaru had huddled himself into a keening ball.

"Kisekimaru, your… Ama is on her way now." Instantly, the heartbreaking sound of his sobs were cut off, replaced by hopeful sniffles. Glittering ruby eyes met his and Kisekimaru's whole head appeared in the gap in the branches.

"R-Really?" He called down buoyantly, cheer already leeching into his voice. Sesshomaru breathed a deep sigh of relief at the tone, knowing he grown in the boys esteem by being the bearer of good news, even if only slightly.

"Yes. She will be here shortly." He hesitated in saying anymore, wondering if he was pushing his luck with his child. "Are you… going to come down and meet her?" Kisekimaru's eyes narrowed in suspicion, and Sesshomaru knew he had pushed too hard, too soon. A frown tugged at the corners of his lips, but he kept them neutral. "You don't have to." He stepped away from the tree and rubbed at his temples. The headache he had felt earlier was gaining strength, throbbing behind his eyes. A tug at his pant leg alerted him to his daughter.

"Is Kisekimaru better Papa?" Rin's light voice drew a smile from him, her loving nature abundant. Her concern was touching.

"He is feeling better." He confirmed, kneeling down to her level once more. "You will be able to meet his mother, Kagura. I expect you to be on your best behavior." He gave her as serious a look as he could manage and was pleased when she nodded vigorously. Her smile was brilliant as she chattered away about how excited she was. Sesshomaru allowed himself a small smirk at her enthusiasm before standing once more, her distress averted. With two of his problems fixed, there was but one more thing to deal with.

"Jaken." The toad demon froze under the cold eyes of his lord. Sesshomaru could smell the fear and remorse floating off the demon in waves, causing him to frown. More scents he didn't particularly like.

"Y-yes?" The quaking of his voice was clear and Sesshomaru sighed. He didn't want to have to deal with a frantic, remorseful Jaken. He usually ended up making even more of a nuisance of himself than normal.

"Don't speak badly of Kagura again." He paused, letting the words sink into his servant's mind. "This is your only warning." Words spoken, he turned away to retreat to a bench. The throbbing behind his eyes had spread to his whole head. He didn't even want to hear a whisper of Jaken's voice. Lightly, he rubbed a temple, futilely trying to will it away. One more thing he didn't need to deal with.

As he sat with a small frown on his face, he felt the wind kick up dramatically. Instantly, he was engulfed in the smell of a cool, crisp wind, like the clean air from a mountain top. His head lifted just in time to see Kagura hop gracefully from her feather and barrel towards him.

"Sesshomaru!" She cried, ruby eyes glittering enticingly. "I came as fast as I could. Where is he?" He shook himself, pushing the headache to the back of his mind as best he could; Kagura's smell was a welcome distraction. Standing, he gestured to the large tree sheltering Rin and Jaken from the sun.

"I've only been here about ten minutes." He murmured quietly as he led her. He stole quick glances at the distracting shine of her eyes. "He's been up there since well before that." Kagura heaved a heavy sigh, running a lightly clawed hand through her untidy hair. It struck him as odd, seeing her as anything less than impeccable; even in the jail cell, she had been neat.

"I'm sorry about all this." She said as they approached. He noticed as Rin's head perked and a smile split her countenance. "I thought I had raised him bet- Ah!" Kagura's sentence was abruptly ended as Rin crashed into her legs. The two almost fell, but Kagura regained her balance in time to keep the pair off the ground.

"Rin, what did I say about your behavior?" A sheepish Rin quickly released the older woman, a smile still on her face.

"To be on my best." She replied, voice coated with an innocence he knew all too well. A part of him groaned as he saw how round her eyes got. He had learned long ago not to fight and said no more in reprimand.

"Kagura, this is Rin, my daughter. Rin, this is Kisekimaru's mother, Kagura." He took a step back as the two females grinned at each other.

"I've heard a lot about you, Rin." Kagura said first, extending a hand. "Kisekimaru had nothing but good things to say about you." Rin flushed a light shade of pink, but took the older woman's hand nonetheless.

"Kisekimaru must love you lots if he misses you so much to cry." Both adults had to smile at the awkward wording of the eight year old. "It's nice to meet you, Miss Kagura." Kagura laughed lightly at the moniker.

"Kagura will do just fine Rin." She assured the younger girl, patting her on the head. "Now, do you know where-"

"_Ama!_" This time Kagura was slammed to the ground by a flying tackle from her son. Even through the ache in her hips, a smile broke through and brightened her face.

"Darling!" Sesshomaru watched in a sort of detached fascination as mother and child clung to each other.

The scent of tears quickly reached the dog demon, just as quickly as he noticed the pair crying. Both wore smiles on their faces. Kisekimaru was sobbing quietly, garbled words streaming out between hitching breaths and tears. Kagura encased him as completely as she could in her embrace, hands pressing his willing head to her neck and legs clutching him to her torso. He could hear the nonsense she murmured in a constant stream into Kisekumaru's ear.

As far as he could remember, he had no memory like this. His own mother was a vague blur in the halls of his memory, his father a distant figure, especially after meeting the human woman. A frown tugged at Sesshomaru's lips as he continued to observe the scene.

"A-Ama, I m-missed you." Sesshomaru's chest ached as his beast roared in distress. His pup was hurting and there was nothing he could do about it. Distant golden eyes drifted to the rocking form of his pup's mother. She was the only thing that could soothe the hurt for their son. Sesshomaru stiffened as his heart constricted painfully, his hand twitching in the desire to clutch it. He restrained himself, wishing to be a silent observer for longer.

"I know, baby, I know." Kagura repeated it like a mantra, stroking and caressing the silver tresses of their son. "Ama is here now, don't cry baby." He watched as she pressed feather light butterfly kisses all over his face and hair.

The most profound thing, he noted, was the contrast. Kagura had looked worn, with her hair messy and uncombed, her clothes wrinkled and slightly faded, when she had touched down. The instant she had heard Kisekimaru's voice and held him in her arms… the change was phenomenal.

Even now, face streaked with tears, her nose turning a cherry red, she exuded a sense of comfort and serenity; she practically glowed with it. Vaguely, he realized it was the effect of motherhood on the unpredictable and unruly wind witch. The aura of comfort she gave off was far reaching; even he felt the desire to let himself be soothed by a mothering presence.

Instantly, reality crashed back into Sesshomaru as he realized what he had been thinking. His headache slammed into his head, fully transformed into a migraine. He cringed heavily, silently cursing his demonically inhanced senses. If nothing else, he had to wrap this up and head back home to quiet. Being in the near center of the city wasn't helping matters. He took a step towards the mother and son.

"Kagura." His keen eyes didn't miss the way all her limbs tightened around Kisekimaru, even as she lifted her head to match gazes with him. "We should be heading home." For a moment, she didn't move, just stared at him with ruby eyes glittering with tears. He cursed the lingering effects of long buried fascinations as he felt himself stare. Her eyes truly were intriguing.

"Fine." Her words were quiet, defeated; much the same as when she had agreed to the contract. He watched as the glitter that so fascinated him disappeared from her eyes. "Kisekimaru, baby, you have to go home with Sesshomaru now." Both parents felt a stab in their hearts as he clung to his mother, head shaking wildly in protest.

"But Ama-"

"No, Kisekimaru." Kagura's voice was soft, but firm in her conviction. "I'll see you in one month. It's just like when you stayed with Big Brother Jakotsu, remember?" Sesshomaru had to admire her for a moment. Even he doubted he would have been able to stand against the wishes of either of his children, let alone one he would be giving away. She truly was a remarkable demoness.

"Yes Ama…" The misery encompassed in the boy's voice was heartbreaking to hear, even for him. "I'll m-miss you." Once more, the strong scent of tears reached Sesshomaru, and he fought back a cringe. It seemed the day didn't wish to go in his favor in any way. It hurt to hear his son continue to cry over coming back with him.

"I know you will baby." She murmured against the crown of his head. "I'll miss you too. Now, there's something I need to talk to you about before you go. Sesshomaru?" She turned her gaze up to him, catching his eyes seriously. "May I speak to him alone?" Sesshomaru gazed at her flatly for a long while, nodding when he realized what she would be doing.

Turning away, he headed to the bench he had previously occupied, knowing he could block out what they were saying at that distance. At least Kagura would be trying to set one thing into going his way. Perhaps he would have his son's trust and acceptance sooner than he had thought.

With a light sigh, he turned his head once more towards the mother and son pair. He focused on watching their lips move, trying to decipher their words by the movement alone. Kagura looked serious while Kisekimaru just looked sad and upset; understandable, he supposed, after the stressful events of the day. If his migraine was any indication, the stress was getting to him as well. He noted that every now and then, Kisekimaru's eyes would drift his way, reluctance clearer than daylight in them. Perhaps it wouldn't be as easy as he first thought.

* * *

It was heartbreaking, a small part of her had decided, that she was being forced to put herself and her son through the situation. They had been reunited for but the briefest amount of time before Sesshomaru had calmly broken them apart with nothing but a few soft words. Neither of them had wanted to let go, but Kagura knew when she had no chance of winning. Any sort of altercation between her and Sesshomaru would only end badly for her.

"Sesshomaru tells me you've been distant." Kagura tried to make her voice as soft as she could, trying to avoid making it sound as though she was accusing him. He was the last one she would accuse of anything in their situation. "Why is that baby?" His head was tilted toward the ground, his long bangs obscuring her view of his eyes. They told her everything, and she knew he was hiding them from her purposefully. They would both begin crying again.

"He took you away from me." Was the barely audible response, even to her enhanced hearing. She couldn't help the sigh that escaped her, even though it would do nothing to help her. "I don't care if he's my Opa, I hate him." The words shocked Kagura to no end, especially the way he said them. There was no inflection or emotion in his voice, just a steady tone that showed her just how serious he was.

"You can't hate him Kisekimaru." She said steadily, cupping his cheeks so he would look at her. "Even I don't hate him. Do you know why?" Her words were just a hairsbreadth away from being a flat lie even as she looked him in the eye and he shook his head. She was only a breath away from hating her son's father, for a number of reasons. "He gave me you. And for that, I can never hate him." If Kisekimaru had never been conceived, she could see herself hating him, but she didn't like picturing any life without her son.

"I still feel… empty without you Ama." Kagura felt relief and pain flood her chest when she heard the waver in his voice. She despaired whenever he began to take on the mannerisms of his father.

"Imagine how he must feel baby." She tried, going for a tactic she hoped wouldn't backfire spectacularly. "He didn't even know you existed before a few weeks ago. What if I suddenly never saw you for eight years; how would we be feeling?" She had never tried playing the empathy card with him, for he had always seemed too like Sesshomaru for it to work. Judging from the suddenly speculating and sad look on his face, he was more like her than she had thought.

"I would hate it." He practically whispered, glancing over at his father. Even though she could still see the reluctance in his eyes, it was better than the outright refusal of before.

"He just wants to get to know you." She soothed, gaining his attention once more. "As your father, it was a right that I stole from him, so this is partially my fault as well. Just give him a chance; he asks for nothing more than that." The stubborn streak that shone through his eyes, so resembling hers, showed that he doubted she could be at fault for anything. An immature part of herself gloated that he liked her more than Sesshomaru, but she pushed it down with shame. She had already done enough to damage their relationship, no need to do anymore with a bout of childishness.

"Now, it's time for you to go with Sesshomaru." She said, standing from her kneeling position. "I'll come to say goodbye to all of you." She felt his tiny hand clutch hers desperately, squeezing just as tight around her heart. Just thinking about saying goodbye made her want to break down in tears all over again.

Kagura wanted to say she would be strong enough to survive the fare wells without crying; after all, she had to practice what she preached in front of her son. But as she led Kisekimaru by the hand towards one of the last men she ever wanted to, she knew that the tears would come unbidden. She could already feel their itch building at the backs of her eyes, the lump that was slowly rising in her throat. Her hand clenched around her son's in a desperate effort to keep him to herself; running with him crossed her mind for half a second before it was shot down mercilessly. Sesshomaru could practically smell treachery, and she would be caught before she could pluck her feather from her hair.

She watched as Sesshomaru rose as they approached him. He looked impossibly cool, just as he always did, his passive mask preventing her from getting anything from him. She could barely remember a time when reading him had been as easy as a quick glance. Her heart stung harshly as, unwittingly, memories flooded forth.

Their first awkward date, made less so when Kagura had managed to make him crack a small smile as she embarrassed herself. The first time she had been to his home, marveling at the sheer elegance of his house while he had made her dinner. Their only Valentine's Day, spent in a field staring at clouds and snacking on the picnic they had prepared. Their first fight, him being upset with how many men she hung around with and how comfortable she was with them. Then, that wonderful, dreadful final night, when she had finally given in to his advances and slept with him. Although, she remembered not sleeping until the sun had begun to peek over the horizon.

The tears came in earnest as she finally locked eyes with him. Confusion swam in them before they flattened once more, regarding her tears with impassivity. It struck her only then the type of man she was leaving her most precious creation with. Knowing she could never win against him, she prayed fervently to any god listening for her son not to turn out like his father. The only thing she had ever wanted from him was to be a happy child and a happy adult.

"Kisekimaru, please go wait with Jaken and Rin. We will be leaving after I speak with… your mother." Kisekimaru didn't move for a moment, clinging to her hand as though it were a lifeline. With a gentle squeeze that ripped at her heart, she let go of his hand and ushered him toward the girl that was now his sister. At the very least, Rin would be a cheering influence in his life with Sesshomaru. She could only hope the little girl would be enough; Kisekimaru was delicate, regardless of his strong heritage.

Her ruby eyes followed him until he reached the slightly older girl, his whole body radiating sadness. The burning tears at the backs of her eyes were almost too much to ignore; still, she had one more thing to face before she allowed herself to cry.

"Thank you for doing this Kagura." Sesshomaru broke the tense silence with his quiet words. Kagura suppressed a flinch as best she could. Being alone with him was weakening a dam she had spent months, _years_ building against the memories. "It… means much to me." She nodded weakly, hanging her head to avoid his gaze. He could probably see her despair like she was glass, but she would at least make an attempt at looking strong, no matter how weak she felt.

"I should go." Her words were whispered, almost no more than soundless breaths of air. Still, she knew he heard them. He was an Inu, a Taiyoukai on top of that.

"Yes, you should." It was a cold statement, one that elicited a flinch she couldn't stop. The glance she gave him told her he had noticed it. "I will… contact you should something like this occur again. Good day, Kagura." She shivered as he walked past her to his children. The emotional coldness was almost tangible, like a deathly chill that followed him. Her ruby eyes followed him through her bangs, watching with a pang as he shepherded his… pack away from her.

She almost sneered as the word came to her unbidden. That's exactly what they were, and she was in no way a part of it. A hiss nearly escaped her at the unexpected pain that thought caused her. Who caused it, she couldn't be entirely sure. With the dam against her memories leaking frantically, she couldn't be sure of anything.

* * *

A/N2- I can never thank my anonymous reviewers personally like I do my logged in reviewers. So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for taking the time to read this story and especially to review it. I am deeply grateful to the compliments, encouragement, and criticism I receive from you.

D.E.M.


	11. The First Time Up

**Chapter Ten**

As Sesshomaru's tall back disappeared from view taking her baby with him, Kagura felt the tears finally well up in her eyes. The first tear blazed a burning trail down her cheek, cooled quickly by the kiss of the wind around her. More quickly followed, rivulets streaming down her burning cheeks. Bursts of wind did what they could to soothe the burn of the tears for their mistress, becoming increasingly frenzied as the inflamed trails didn't cease. In the back of her mind, Kagura knew that her powers would spiral out of her control if she didn't get a grip. The part of her that throbbed with hurt screamed that it didn't care; it needed to let go of everything, the consequences be damned.

The sound of giggles pierced through the sad fog surrounding Kagura and slammed her back into reality. Guilt raked through her as she realized where she was: a park surrounded by children, mothers, and fathers. Had she let go of control as she so desperately wished to, they would have all been killed by the gales and tornadoes she would have unleashed.

The feather was out of her hair before she had truly even thought about it. Taking to the skies as high as she could go, Kagura gasped as the chill and thin air kept her head clear. Glancing over the rim of her feather, the city was a shining blot on the landscape. Air currents flowed around her, buffeting her feather. It brought a sad smile to her lips as her hair escaped the haphazard bun in which she had pinned it.

The chill of the air relaxed her, surrounded by nothing but her element. Closing her eyes and laying back on the feather, she let her powers go, allowed them the freedom she could not have. Swirling about her, they shrieked and howled their joy at being released, however temporary it was.

Tears seeped through her lashes as she let the howling wind soothe her weary spirit. It was too much, giving up Kisekimaru twice. Her mind had barely comprehended the first time, let alone come to peace with it. Seeing him had reopened the wounds; letting him go again had been like pouring acid in them. The fresh trails on her cheeks stung as the cold winds bit at them, but it only made her smile. Like they had been her whole life, the winds were a balm on her aching soul.

Settled in the protective curve of her feather, Kagura wasn't sure how long she had spent in the air, enjoying the little taste of freedom she allowed herself. Having let herself go, she let her mind to drift weightlessly towards subjects that held such gravity in her heart.

This meeting, as tragic as it had felt to watch him slip from her grasp once more, cemented a happy fact within her heart. Her baby still loved her, still missed her as painfully as she missed him. She knew that she wasn't the only one who had cried because they were separated. The mother in her ached for her baby and herself, but Kagura didn't let herself feel the pain. She concentrated on making it better within herself, making it more bearable.

Compared to Sesshomaru, she held an enormous amount of sway over Kisekimaru, had a more secure place in his heart. A corner of her lips lifted, feeling the thought spread warmth in her chest. Yes, Sesshomaru may be the one who held custody of him, but she firmly held his love. If she could ignore the hole that not seeing him created, a precarious sort of peace could settle in her body.

When she finally opened her eyes, they sparkled with the life that had been missing since Sesshomaru had retaken the one good thing she had in her life.

Reigning in her faithful servants, she allowed herself to drift leisurely toward reality. As the ground rose to meet her, some of the shine left her eyes, forever drifting in the air far above her. Still, as she at last felt the firm ground beneath her feet, another small smile curved her lips. On the ground was where her life was, where her baby was.

Her heart still ached with loss, but she could survive. Even if she only saw Kisekimaru twice a year, he was still just within her reach. He held her jealously within his heart, giving her the most treasured place in the circle of his love. Even if she had opened that circle to Sesshomaru, she was still first and foremost to him, and that was enough for her.

* * *

Settled behind the bar, Kagura surveyed the club laid out before her. Soothing jazz flowed from the speakers, brittle brass notes making her shiver every now and then. For a Tuesday, the club was quiet, the bar even quieter. She had served the regulars and sat, waiting for an order to come from the floor. Glancing towards the walls, even the servers for the night had little to do. A few were clustered around a table, gossiping from what she could tell.

Grabbing a glass, Kagura cleaned it without really paying it much attention. With so little to do, she found her mind drifting, in particular to the day two days before.

She wondered if she had done the right thing, encouraging Kisekimaru to trust Sesshomaru at Sesshomaru's wish. There was little doubt in her mind that had she not done it, Kisekimaru would be hard pressed to even remotely trust his father. Thinking back to her own father, she didn't want that lack of trust to hallmark her son's relationship with Sesshomaru, no matter how much of a bastard she thought the man.

With a heavy sigh, she gazed at the doors that kept the Black Diamond secluded from the outside world, from reality. Behind the bar, Kagura felt lighter. She left her problems, her worries, and her stress at the back door. When she stepped behind the counter, she was just an easy smile and an attentive ear. She had no son, there was no cold ex, and her best and only friends weren't in the hospital. There was only smiling Himura-san or Bartender. Mixing a drink just for the hell of it, she allowed herself a bit of guilty relief and ignored the fact that her son was alone with his cold father.

When she finished the drink, she had to laugh at what her hands had mixed up. The lava lamp sloshed in the cup a bit as she twirled it, staring at the drink of her frequent but suspiciously absent track star. Thinking back to her harsh words of a week and half before, she bit back a sigh. Logically, she knew he couldn't have understood her desire to hold onto Kisekimaru; he wasn't a father and hadn't felt those protective instincts. Still, she had lashed out at him and run him from the club, losing one of her highest paying customers. If Bankotsu had been around to see it, he would have ranted her ear off about how to treat the clientele, no matter how much of an ass the client was. She snorted softly at the thought; Bankotsu was a math person, dealing with the bills while Jakotsu dealt with customers and workers.

From within her reverie, Kagura noticed the door to the club opening. Everyone's attention shifted as the door creaked, a few of the servers rising from their gossip session. Kagura's eyebrows shot towards her hair line as Koga came into view. Her lips twisted into a wry grin even as she set down the lava lamp in her hand.

"Speak of the devil…" she muttered with a chuckle. Ruby eyes glinted with humor and interest as she noticed that he was standing straight. All the other nights he had slunk into the club, he had been hunched, as though carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. She watched with keen eyes as he headed her way.

"Bar tender, how's it going?" The grin on her face just grew as he greeted her jubilantly. She could easily ignore the disbelief creeping up her spine.

"Just fine my friend." She replied easily, nudging the drink toward him. "You seem better than the last time we met. First drink's on the house." He grinned back at her, throwing it back in a few quick gulps. The disbelief began to soak into her mind; perhaps the half formed thoughts of him listening to her 'suggestion' weren't well founded after all.

"Thanks." The wolfish grin from his first night of drowning his sorrows was back, and Kagura found she was glad to see it. No matter how much money supplying him with a bottomless glass of absinthe gained her, it would never be worth watching someone drink his life away. Not someone like Koga, who had his whole track career in front of him still.

"Not a problem." She kept her ruby on him speculatively as he returned the empty glass. There was something about him that was different, even from the first time he came in all smooth and confident. To her slight annoyance, she couldn't quite pick out what it was.

"I want to say thank you." Kagura blinked as he did a 180. His face was solemn and serious as his blue, blue eyes bore into her own. She had to fight to keep a loose smile on her face. It was her job to be the lighthearted one. "Kicking me out on my ass made me rethink a few things." Her smile became less forced as she could sense no resentment in his words.

"It generally does that." She said, wiping down the glass he had given her. "Although I do have to say sorry. It was a rash and uncouth action, no matter its effectiveness." His smile returned and his face eased into a more relaxed expression. Koga finally took a seat on a stool, eying the ingredients for another lava lamp longingly. She raised a questioning eyebrow and reached for it, but he shook his head.

"I'm done drinking." He told her, her other eyebrow joining its twin near her hairline.

"And I'm the one who brought this around?" She asked dryly, a smirk crawling onto her features. "I must not be doing my job right." Koga laughed hard and loud at her statement, drawing the stares of many of the patrons and servers. She couldn't stop the chuckle that rose in her throat, even if she had tried. Job be damned, it felt good to set another person straight. The mother in her radiated approval.

As Koga calmed himself, both stayed in companionable silence. Kagura drifted up and down the bar, occasionally filling orders as the regulars further down ordered them. No one but the hardcore drinkers seemed to want anything from her.

"I took your advice, you know?" He said at length, catching her attention while she was mixing a batch of Mind Erasers. "Went home and took a long shower. I thought long and hard about what I was doing, to my career and myself." She carefully slid the shots down to their owners, giving Koga her full attention after she did so.

"And what came of it?" It was a small matter to keep her hands busy, for there were always glasses to clean behind the bar. Koga's stare drilled into the bar top, a clawed finger drawing circles into the finish. She didn't care, knowing Bankotsu probably wouldn't notice. Maybe. Hopefully.

"You were right." He said simply, pausing in his circle drawing. "I looked up Kikyou's past and… I was just another way to money in a long list, wasn't I?" His head raised and Kagura could still see traces of the deep sadness he had carried when he first broke down. Slowly, she nodded her head. It would do no one any good to sugarcoat it or lie to him. He sighed and returned his gaze to the counter top. Feeling the depression beginning to radiate off him, she hoped she hadn't made him change his mind about drinking.

"I wish the truth could be easier," she replied, "but then we would never need to lie." He grunted. Kagura fought to keep from rolling her eyes. She wasn't sure why he had returned, but it certainly wasn't to fall back into a depression. "Why are you here Koga? This is probably the worst place to be if you want to stay off drinking." Some of her irritation seeped through into her voice, despite how she was still attending to her bar tender façade.

"I wanted to say thank you." He said simply, lifting his head sharply to catch her eye. She forced herself to smile for him, but she wanted to scoff. It could be just as easily done through a friend or a nice card. She _was_ the only bar tender on pay roll at the Black Diamond.

"And now you did." Her voice was flatter than she meant it to be, but it served her purpose well, she supposed. "It would do you no good to fall back by being here. Not to sound rude, but you should leave before you start drinking again." She felt small parts of her worries slipping through the carefully built wall that made her façade so easily accessible. They locked gazes for a few moments before a crooked smile tugged at Koga's face. Kagura raised a skeptical eyebrow at his expression, allowing herself to shed her façade for a few moments.

"I didn't say _how_ I was going to do it." The enticing growl from the night he broke down was back, but Kagura found herself unaffected. She tensed as he began to shift closer to her, indignation rising as he continued to near her. His grin turned into a smirk as he froze a foot away from her face. She blinked, nonplussed as he shoved something in her face, effectively halting her suspicions and her mind. "You need to read this." Her shock kept her frozen for a few moments, but she quickly stepped back and snatched the item from his hands.

"A trash magazine?" The derision in her voice rang clearer than a bell, causing Koga to chuckle. "You can't be serious. I didn't even read these as a teenager." She flopped it onto the bar between them and turned away to grab another dirty glass.

"I'll admit, it's less than reputable," he conceded, opening it and flipping through the pages, "But it has something that I think will interest you. I thought it would… lift your spirits regarding a certain asshole ex of yours." Kagura froze, hands midway through the motion of wiping down her glass. She turned a chilling glare onto Koga who just smirked calmly back at her.

"I make it a point not to know his business." She clipped out harshly, no longer even pretending to attend to her mask of a happy bartender. "In nearly ten years, I've only mistakenly seen one thing." Koga said nothing in return, his hands stilling their perusing. He slid the magazine towards her and just smirked. Despite herself, Kagura could feel her curiosity tugging her gaze down towards the page.

"Trust me, I think you'll like it." And she saw it. Splashed in bold yellow print was a title that lifted one corner of her lips even though she fought the movement tooth and nail.

'Taisho Sesshomaru Exposed! Past Girlfriends Speak Out Against Billionaire!' Her eyes lifted to meet Koga's and she forced herself not to react to his smug smirk, knowing he had seen her small grin.

"Really Koga?" Amusement laced her voice, causing his grin to grow wider. "As much as I appreciate the sentiment, it won't help." That wiped the smirk off his face faster than anything else could have. She flipped the magazine shut with a grin and returned to wiping down her glass, not acknowledging the shock coating his face.

"Seriously?" He was the practically the poster boy for bewilderment, much to Kagura's continually growing amusement. "These women tear him to pieces. How can you not want to see that other women share your view on him? They _hate_ him." His words snatched the smile right off Kagura's face as her words to Kisekimaru floated hauntingly back to her.

_"He gave me you. And for that, I can _never_ hate him."_ Koga didn't seem to notice her sudden change in demeanor, continuing to blather on even as Kagura drifted into her thoughts.

Confusion seeped outward from the words echoing in her mind. Her brow creased as she turned the statement over, thinking reluctantly back to the conversation in which they were uttered. She had been furious, heartbroken, and empty when she had said them. Many of her negative emotions she could easily trace back to Sesshomaru, but she found even then that the words rang true.

Residing near the core of her being was the pained college student that still clung to the feelings she had harbored for Sesshomaru while they dated. Fear spread swiftly in confusion's wake. She was terrified that her feelings were so close to the center of her being, that she still harbored them at _all_. From all the anguish and agony she had endured, Kagura had believed she had rid herself of the things she had foolishly thought she felt.

"Are you even listening to me bartender?" Koga's harsh voice ripped Kagura from her musings, the edge in it drawing her to glare daggers.

"No." She said frankly, slamming her glass on the counter. She could feel it humming in her grasp, so close to shattering. "You've said your piece Koga. I understand and am grateful that you would try to cheer me up, but you're going about it the wrong way. Would you like it if I rounded up Kikyou's ex-boyfriends and asked their opinions of her, only to spout their answers to you?" Koga was struck dumb at the venom in her voice, mouth hanging open. She sneered at him, drawing away from him and his traitorous magazine.

"I didn't think so." She snarled, turning to head towards the other end of the bar. "Now leave before I have to get the bouncers to escort you out." Her harsh words laid out on the table, she strode away, listening with satisfaction as soon after the doors were opened and slammed shut. Glancing around, she noticed that patrons were staring at the door, but no one had eyes for her. Breathing a sigh of relief, she fixed up another round of drinks for the regulars; anything to get her mind off the sudden turbulence she felt within her heart and mind.


	12. Snatched

A/N- I would like all my readers to go and read the huge thank you that is in my profile. Words can't express enough!

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

"He's well on the way to recovery, according to the quacks." Kagura had to grin at the flippant tone of her friend; she could sense his up-turned nose even through the phone.

"That's awesome." She affirmed, hearing the agreeing hum. "I just hope he's itching to see the bills because those figures scare the shit out of me." Jakotsu tittered along with Kagura. Bankotsu would demand to see how she had screwed up their finances the moment he regained consciousness.

"Don't lie, you little witch," Jakotsu chided, still chuckling slightly, "You know you enjoy being able to handle large amounts of money again." Kagura didn't deny it, knowing it had been years since she had handled numbers in the thousands and ten-thousands of dollars range. Not since she had been disowned.

"How are _you_ doing, by the way?" Jakotsu slipped in before their laughter ceased. "I know you were panicking when…" They sat in the silence for a moment, reliving the anxiety for only a moment. Kagura could feel the tension on the other end of the phone as the gravity of Bankotsu's near death hit Jakotsu again.

"I'm… better." She admitted, resting her forehead in her palm. "There's no way I'll be one-hundred percent any time soon, but its better than before." Jakotsu hummed thoughtfully. Kagura was certain that he knew she was worse than she would admit but hoped he wouldn't bring it up. He didn't.

"At least its only a week before Kisekimaru's birthday." He consoled gently, bringing a smile to her face. He knew her so well. "And he damn well better get the present I got for him, Sesshomaru or not." She couldn't have stopped the laughter that flowed from her mouth if she had tried. That was so like him, steamrollering over those who were in his way, regardless of who they actually were.

"I'll be sure to get it to him." She assured when she had calmed a little; it felt good to laugh again. "No amount of emotionless doggy could stop me." It was Jakotsu's turn to laugh at her new moniker. A little smirk lifted her own lips, regardless of the small palpitation her heart made. She easily shoved the emotions that began to surface into the back of her mind to be touched upon after her conversation. Jakotsu would easily sniff out any thoughts that lingered within her mind.

"Good to know. Well, the doctor will be here any minute for another check, so I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" Kagura hummed her agreement and they said their brief good-byes. Pressing the end button, she released a heavy sigh.

Acting for Jakotsu, even if only over the phone, was harder than she thought it would be. The man was her closest confidante and knew instinctively when she was bothered by something. However, the something that was nagging at her mind she didn't want to burden him with. After all, one's feelings are only decipherable by one's self.

Sitting at the island in Jakotsu's kitchen, Kagura let her head thud against the cool marble. The feeling she had shoved away flooded back full force in her moment of weakness, a frown tugging at her features. It had been happening more and more often since she had told off Koga again.

Little things brought up the painful memory of Sesshomaru and her traitorous heart would beat faster. The dam she had against the memories leaked at a steady rate, slow but enough to pain her. Almost everything conjured her a personal demon. A small smirk turned her lips at the thought. The irony of a demoness having a 'personal demon' wasn't lost on her.

Forcing herself straight again, she slunk out of the kitchen and back towards the room where she had been reluctantly sleeping. Jakotsu's call heralded the time, telling her she only had a few more hours before she had to start opening the Black Diamond. At just past three, she figured she could at least go shopping for Kisekimaru's present before she had to be back.

* * *

The day was warm, school had been released for the summer, and there was only a week left. Kisekimaru sat listlessly under a tree, watching the other children play animatedly on the playground only a few feet away. His eyes landed on the girl who he was reluctantly beginning to call his sister. Rin was giggling happily from her place at the swings, kicking her legs to swing ever higher. Her spritely voice called out to the irritable Jaken.

"Mister Jaken, Mister Jaken! Look how high I am." The toad demon was sitting nearer to Rin, on one of the benches. He was scowling despite the cheerful atmosphere of the park.

"I see you, you loud human." He grouched, crossing his tiny arms in a huff. His staff, that he always kept with him, was resting on the bench beside him. From in the shade, Kisekimaru observed quietly, having abandoned the rocks and sticks that had made up his imaginary armies to watch his new family.

The words almost hurt him. A new family. He didn't want a new family, he wanted his Ama back. But like she had said, he had no choice in who he got. The aching in his heart throbbed again, causing him to frown. Jaken had called it homesickness, and he was. All of his being longed to return to the small apartment he had shared with his Ama, to the silver blanket that he hadn't gotten to retrieve. Mister Sesshomaru's… his _Opa's_ apartment was bigger, but Kisekimaru always felt small there, like he was easily lost in the larger space.

Eyes turning once more towards the rocks before him, he picked up a red one he had found, cradling it gently in his hand. He had been counting the days until he could see his Ama again. There were only six days left until his birthday, and he could see her again. Just the thought brought a small smile to his indifferent face, one of the few he had shown once he had realized he would hardly see his Ama anymore.

Since the week before, Kisekimaru had done what he was asked. Reluctantly, he had acquiesced to calling Sesshomaru his Opa. He had refused to speak to the man though, unless he was directly addressed. Though he was disobeying his Ama a little, he felt it was payment for his Opa forcing her away.

With a sigh, he replaced the red rock on the ground, clearing away some of the dirt before he did. His eyes drifted to the bigger yellow rock that sat apart from the others. One imaginary man against the legion of other rocks that, Kisekimaru had decided, would defeat the man. Though he knew it was childish, he secretly labeled the man his Opa, imagining the red rock of his Ama sweeping in and defeating the yellow one. The little gray rock sat at the sidelines, watching gleefully as the red rock's army advanced on the yellow rock. His small hands orchestrated the downfall of the yellow rock, the red one plucking the gray rock from the sidelines to their home so they could live happily. Staring down at the battlefield before him, Kisekimaru could only wish for the battle to be true.

His happiness once more dashed as reality intruded upon his fantasies, Kisekimaru lifted his eyes again to watch the girl he called his sister. Rin was further away now, playing on the monkey bars as Jaken toddled along behind her. He wondered if Jaken even remembered he was there, but doubted it. Jaken often forgot about Kisekimaru because he was so quiet and subdued. Not that he minded, for the toad demon was always squawking about his Opa in his presence.

Heaving himself up, Kisekimaru abandoned his war zone, opting instead to wander further into the park. He wouldn't be gone long enough for Jaken to notice his absence. It would just be a small stroll to the places where his Ama had played with him. Mind made up, he took to the path only a few feet behind the tree and went on his way.

His ruby eyes roved over all the familiar grass and trees. There was the clearing where they had once held a picnic with Big Brother Jakotsu and Uncle Bankotsu. That was the tree they had always made home base while they played hide and seek or tag. That small patch of dirt was where his Ama had first begun teaching him to control his powers. She had told him he would get his fan when he turned fifteen. It had seemed like such a far away age at the time; it still did if he was honest with himself.

With the sun bearing down on his back and skull, Kisekimaru hurried toward the covered part of the path. The cool shade of the overhanging trees was a small comfort. He aided it by kicking up a wind, rustling the branches and cooling his face. A small frown tilted his lips as the wind was stronger than he meant it to be, but relaxed. Ama had said that fine control came with age, and he would be able to do as she did when he got older. He was content to walk in the wind he had created.

The wind was so relaxing, he didn't notice a figure creeping up behind him until the hands clamped over his mouth and eyes. Panic flooded his system, tearing his control to shreds and kicking up a huge gale. The trees bent dangerously and the figure behind him grunted, hand tightening around his mouth. In his mind, he called out, screaming desperately for his Ama, his Opa, anyone! As he kicked and flailed against the one who held him so roughly, the hand covering his eyes disappeared. His eyes snapped open as he felt himself being dragged off the path and into the dense trees on either side.

"Damn kid." A dark voice growled from above him. Even in his panic, Kisekimaru tried to place the voice, but no person came to mind. He tried to scream through the hand that held him captive, but it was muffled, quieted further by the howling winds. Strands of brown hair that were not his own drifted into his vision from behind him. He screamed through his fleshy gag once more, but everything faded as he felt a searing pain at the back of his skull.

* * *

Frustrated, Sesshomaru stood from his desk and strode to the wide expanse of window that made up one wall of his home office. He silently ran through all of his options once more, trying to find what was causing his analysts to stumble.

He was so close. His father's dream of being the largest real estate agency in the country was only a few steps away from being achieved. All but one of the largest competitors had been absorbed or completely abolished by his ruthless strategies. Unfortunately, Hakujou Real Estate was proving to be stubborn, even as it was on its last legs. It was with a smirk that he thought of all the business he had snatched from his last real competitor, leaving the company to struggle to keep its head above financial ruin.

Those last few shareholders were proving to be a nuisance. He knew that the founder of the company and his immediate family held all the remaining stock to be bought. According to the rumors Sesshomaru had been hoping were true though, buying those stock from the man's family shouldn't have been difficult. The business journals and gossip magazines had been having field days detailing the slow falling out between the founder and his family.

Perhaps his bids weren't high enough, but he doubted it. The cause for his final hurdle was likely the greed of the family, though he couldn't blame them. They were considering selling their only source of income; of course they would want the price to carrying them to their deaths with a lavish lifestyle. He would call his analysts in the morning to discuss raising the offers once more.

With a heavy sigh, his eyes drifted to the clock that hung on the far wall. 5:45. He had sent Jaken with his children to the park almost an hour and a half ago. Feeling in a slightly better mood with his temporarily solved problem, he decided to take Rin and Kisekimaru where ever they wanted for dinner. Reaching for his phone, he flipped it open and speed dialed Jaken, impatiently waiting for the imp to pick up his phone.

"Yes milord?" Jaken's naturally grating voice squawked irritatingly out of his phone's speakers, tugging the corners of his lips downward. Would it kill his servant to speak at a reasonable volume and pitch?

"Bring Kisekimaru and Rin back home." He stated plainly, striding from his office as he did so, "We will be going out for dinner and they shall pick where. Inform them so they can choose on the ride back." He did his best to shut out the blathering assurances that it would be done as he asked. It was almost purely the fact that Sesshomaru didn't want to find a new assistant that kept him from firing Jaken. That, and he had aided his father for as long as Sesshomaru could remember.

"That will be all Jaken." He cut through the toad demon's words abruptly before shutting his phone with a clap. He paused outside the door to his room, rubbing the bridge of his nose softly. Somehow, Jaken always made his day seem a little duller.

Brushing aside as many stray thoughts as he could, he strode into his room to change out of his suit. He considered where his children were likely to end up taking him before grabbing a pair of dark jeans and a dark polo. While he may have favored more extravagant foods, his children preferred their food more mainstream and simple.

Changing quickly, he left his room to wait in the den for his children to return. The news kept him as entertained as he could be, the myriad of depressing news offset by the occasional cheerful story. It was as the 6:00 news came on that Sesshomaru noticed something was amiss.

The walk from the park to his high rise was five minutes at most, even on nice weekends when everyone was outside. Factoring in Jaken having to corral his lively children, it would take at most ten minutes on busy days. He tugged his cell phone out with a frown, once more dialing Jaken's number as he lowered the volume of his television. The demon picked up right away.

"MilordI'msosorryI'mafailureofaservantand…" Jaken's shriek was louder and faster than Sesshomaru had ever heard it before, his sensitive hearing making the experience that much more terrible.

"Jaken! Silence yourself." His words were harsh and his servant ceased speaking immediately. Sesshomaru allowed himself a sigh of relief before he spoke again. "Speak slowly and don't babble. Tell me what happened." The ensuing 'yes milord' was subdued and hushed, much to his delight.

"Kisekimaru is missing." Even through the phone, the whispered words dripped with shame and fear. For the first time in his long life, Sesshomaru found himself gobsmacked and shocked into silence by Jaken. Even though the toad demon continued talking, Sesshomaru heard none of it, still trying to process the first shocking statement. His startled silence didn't last for very long, white hot anger sweeping in to take confusion's place.

"You had better be certain." The malice tainting his normally flat tone shocked even himself, but he found it justified as he ran faster than ever before to the park. He slammed his phone shut as he twisted through the streets as little more than a passing wind and a blur. Ten seconds later found him looming over his cowering servant, golden eyes dark with fury. "Where was he last?" His words were cold and deliberate, and out of the corner of his eye he noticed Rin sobbing into her knees.

Taking a deep breath, Sesshomaru forced himself back from his anger, the task proving harder than he thought it would with Jaken but a few feet away. It would do no good to scare Rin any more than she already was, no matter what he felt. His children came first.

"Rin." He was satisfied with the amount of calm in his voice and knew he had done the right thing when Rin threw herself at him, the scent of her tears doing wonders to keep his anger in check. As she sobbed into his chest, he let himself hold her as tightly as he dared. The situation slammed home as he thankfully realized at least one of his children was safe with him. He murmured quiet assurances that he would find Kisekimaru, promising her he would bring her new brother back.

Not wanting to part with his only child safely with him, he lifted Rin into his arms as he turned back towards Jaken. The toad demon was still lying prostrate on the ground, his body shaking and vague mumblings drifting up to Sesshomaru's ears. Holding his daughter securely in his arms, he kept his voice calm and level as he spoke.

"Where did you see him last?"

"He was under that tree last I saw milord." Jaken thankfully kept his voice as quiet and small as he could make it. It helped minimally to dampen the rage he was still feeling towards his servant.

Ignoring the still muttering demon, Sesshomaru strode toward the tree Jaken had indicated, immediately picking up the scent of Kisekimaru. He noticed that the scent strayed away from the tree, branching off to the path a few feet away. Following the scent trail easily, Sesshomaru walked in his son's footsteps. As he entered the covered part of the path, he could smell the scents intensifying, protected from scattering by the trees. His anxiety rose exponentially as the scent of panic and fear lingered strongly on a part of the path.

Taking a deep breath, he drifted to the left one step before the scent trail disappeared completely. His brow creased in frustration and worry, almost sure that Kisekimaru had lost control of his wind and blown away Sesshomaru's surest way of finding him. Rin's quiet sobbing against his neck was the only thing that kept him from destroying the trees around them in frustration.

As he considered his options, a stray thought caused him to stop breathing for a moment. His cell phone rested heavy in his pocket, one number in particular flashing across his mind. As much as he didn't want to, he had to contact Kagura.

* * *

Midway through her flight, Kagura felt a shudder wrack her body, weakening the hold she had on the newly bought game console. A frown slipped onto her features as a foreboding feeling swept through her, but she did her best to ignore it. She had managed to find the game for cheaper than she had expected, leaving her with a bit of extra cash to spend as she pleased. It may have only been a few hundred yen, but she knew how to make it last.

That prideful thought in mind, she brought down her feather as Jakotsu's apartment and the Black Diamond came into view. Unlocking the doors, she glanced at the clock as she stepped inside. She had made better time than she thought; the clock only read 6:15. She was sorely tempted to take a shower, but knew it would be a waste of Jakotsu's water to take one before and after working. With a sigh, she headed up to drop off her bags and change. She fervently hoped for another calm night. It had been a few uneventful days in the club, and she was ready to beg for at least a week. No complications with Bankotsu, no Koga butting his nose into places it didn't belong, and maybe just news of Kisekimaru being happier in his new home, provided Sesshomaru didn't bear it.

Shuffling the bags into the closet Jakotsu had used for all the other presents, Kagura headed off to the small room she had been using.

Bumping the door open with her knuckles, she swept past the threshold and began to dress in the clothes she had laid out on her bed before she left. The air around her almost vibrated with the silence, cut only by the soft rustle of fabric. Everything in the room screamed impersonal, only her haphazardly tossed clothes told of her personal touch. It was for the best though, considering it was only meant to be a guest room, not her own. With a little thrill of satisfaction, she noted that her normally snug pencil skirt was easier to slide up her legs. The reason for her weight loss was easily ignored in favor of maintaining the positive feelings.

Tugging on her comfortable flats as she retreated to the kitchen, Kagura's eyes scanned for the keys that would open the side door. The quiet music that abruptly drifted up to her signaled that the servers had begun arriving. A small smile stole over lips, thankful for one less thing she had to do before slipping behind the bar. As few as they were, the other hired help was extremely efficient. Spotting the keys on the marble island, she snatched them up, walking briskly towards the door that led downstairs.

She paused as her ancient cell phone began ringing. _Ring!_ Glancing back to where it lay on the island, she debated whether or not she should answer it. Even as she looked at it, her gut whispered that her hopes for a peaceful night at the club would be dashed before it even opened. A growing, selfish part of her murmured that she deserved one more night, consequences be damned. _Ring!_ She hesitated, rocking indecisively on her feet. The siren's call of a calm night was beckoning her from beyond the doorway. _Ring!_

With a harsh jolt, she snatched up her phone just before the final ring could sound, the thought of a guilty conscience forcing her into action.

"Hello?"


	13. Doldrum

**Chapter Twelve**

"He's gone." Kagura blinked, not entirely sure of what the other person was saying.

"Um, who is thi-"

"Sesshomaru and he's gone." The words were clipped out much harsher than normal, and Kagura couldn't suppress a flinch. It was only another moment though before she realized exactly what he was implying.

"What do you mean, 'He's gone'?" She ground out through clenched teeth, suddenly finding anger warring with worry. Even though she didn't want it to be true, her gut told her she already knew precisely what he meant.

"Kisekimaru has been taken." Kagura sprinted out the door, phone pressed to her ear as she flung her feather into the air.

"Where are you?" High above the city in seconds, the winds whipped furiously as her emotions careened from anger to worry. Panic extended a slowly creeping grip from the back of her mind, shutting down one thought after another.

"The city park. Near the covered part of the path." Sesshomaru spoke quickly, his words laden with an angry edge. "Land away from there; right now there's still some of a scent path." Kagura hummed her acknowledgement, pushing her feather to speeds dangerous even for her.

"I'll be there in a few seconds." She muttered, not bothering to say good bye as she shuts her phone with the park in sight. Sesshomaru's shining silver hair was like a beacon as she descended, landing with a harsh jolt. By his side in seconds, ruby eyes frantically searched for any sign of her precious baby.

"What happened?" She snapped, locking gazes with Sesshomaru as she found nothing. His golden eyes were tinged red, even as he held a shaking Rin in his arms.

"I do not know." He said, voice the very picture of calm. "His scent ends there, and the smell of panic and fear is intense. Whomever took him knew I would come; they used scent dampener to completely erase their smell." Kagura's fists ached as she clenched them, her teeth grit painfully. Worry won the battle for control of her emotions, and the tears pickled the backs of her eyes. A heavy lump lodged in her throat as she looked around once again, feeling helpless as she saw nothing to hint where her baby had gone.

"Did anyone see anything?" The words felt thick in her mouth as they were forced past her uncooperative throat.

"I do not know," Sesshomaru repeated, "I called you immediately after the trail ended." Kagura rolled her eyes, even as she was pleased that she had been notified so quickly.

"Then ask!" She spat, taking an aggressive step towards him. "I'm going to see if I can find him." Sesshomaru raised a skeptical brow at her claim as he set Rin down, but she steadfastly ignored him. It was these situations that made her thankful Kisekimaru had taken after her demonic heritage and Sesshomaru's.

Closing her eyes and tugging out her fan, she focused herself in towards the center of her power. The winds around the park picked up lightly as she followed her inner wind stream as far as it would go. When she had been teaching Kisekimaru, she had helped him by attaching their streams together and exerting some control. It had made her hyper aware of him and where he was in comparison to her. Much to her dismay however, the end of her wind stream wasn't attached to his like it should have been.

With a distressed frown, she pushed harder, ignoring the panic clawing up her throat as she did. But not matter how she tried, she couldn't find even the gentlest of breezes from Kisekimaru's wind stream.

"Come on…" she pleaded to the air around her. "Just a little wind pocket." Her prayer was in vain, for there was no luck in her search.

"Have you found anything?" Sesshomaru's low voice snapped her from her focus and yanked her back into the present. She felt the sharp prickling of tears at the back of her eyes as she locked a distressed gaze with him. With a slow shake of her head, she confirmed she had nothing.

Sesshomaru let out his own curse, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No one said they saw anything." He confessed in a tight voice. "No one was near this part of the path when he disappeared apparently." Something inside Kagura cracked, and she felt herself tremble.

"Fuck." The curse was raspy and hoarse, the first tear spilling out as she choked out the word. "No, no, no; this can't be happening!" More tears blazed trails down her cheeks, her arms aching for the familiar weight of her child as she held him close.

The gravel bit at her shins when her legs crumpled beneath her, a loud keening wrenching the air from her lungs. In the back of her mind, she knew that her crying wouldn't do anything to help the scared Rin, but she was just past caring. Her one joy in life, the one thing she had to look forward to: gone. Dangled before her like a golden carrot before being snatched completely from view, leaving her lost and depressed.

Her head was pounding in agony, a potent cocktail of emotional and physical sensation that wreaked havoc with her senses and control. The winds dutifully avoided the last place that her baby had been for certain though, not wishing to worsen their mistress's state further. In the midst of her keening, the heavy hand that landed harshly on her shoulder jerked her into a choked silence.

"Calm yourself Kagura." Sesshomaru's cold voice hissed from above. Her watering eyes lifted balefully to meet his in a gaze that was a tormented mix of sadness and fury. "You are making a scene." The way his eyes left hers to scan the area suspiciously ignited something within her that gave her the strength to rise to her feet. White hot anger melted her cold sorrow and just added fuel to the fire.

"Don't tell me not to make a scene!" She shouted hoarsely, voice amplified by the howling wings, "You just lost my _life_, my reason for living for the past eight years! I'll make a scene if I damn well please until my baby is back safe with me, not with a heartless man who couldn't even keep him for two months." Her angry words were countered by the bleeding of red into Sesshomaru's eyes, but Kagura refused to back down. Sesshomaru could tear her to pieces, but nothing would stop her from finding her baby, not even Armageddon.

"Don't think that you're the only one worried," he growled lowly, still infuriatingly in control of himself save his eyes. "And he isn't _just_ your child." Kagura scoffed at that, clenching her fists and cutting into her palms with her nails. The pain hardly registered through her fury.

"He damn well is," she hissed, spark growing in her eyes as she went for blood. "He doesn't even call you Opa, does he?" With a fleeting instant of triumph, she watched with an almost masterful feeling as his face broke into a terrifying scowl that only made her smile grimly at the empty victory.

An instant later found her slammed against a tree, far from the eyes that had been watching in the clearing. Her throat was choked shut, but she kept her joyless smile. Just the knowledge that her words had been deadly accurate was enough to keep her with a serene sense of victory.

"Say one more word," He growled. She felt his words in her chest more than she heard them. "And you will never see him again, contract or no." That was more than enough to break down her victory but she kept a fierce glare on her face.

"You will find him." She spat, forcing her words out as best she could around his hand. "And you _will_ bring him to me. I won't leave you alone until I see him happy, whole, and healthy." Despite the way the air barely whistled into her lungs, she trained her eyes firmly on Sesshomaru's own furious ones. The deep fear she had held of their red tinge was naught but a faint thought in the back of her mind. Her baby took precedence over _everything_, even herself and her own preservation.

The tense silence between them stretched painfully for Kagura, acutely aware of the way that her vision was slowly blurring and darkening the long Sesshomaru kept his grip on her neck. It was after almost an eternity that he released her, and she gasped desperately for air. Leaning against the tree for support as best she could, she stared up defiantly to the man that had ruined her.

"I will think about it." He said lowly as his eyes slowly faded back to their normal golden colour, only the hints of red at the edges even hinting at his anger. "Until then-"

"No." Kagura interjected sharply, taking a step towards his towering figure. "He is my baby too, and I _will_ have a significant role in finding him. You will _not_ keep me out of whatever investigation I know you'll launch for him." There was nothing she could do again as they locked fierce stares. All she knew was that she would insist until her last breath or when Sesshomaru gave in to her demands. Victory was hers, she knew, when he released a beleaguered sigh.

"Fine." He muttered sullenly, pouting as much as his stoic features allowed, "But I will monitor all that you do. I'll not have you ruining my reputation with a stupid blunder." Kagura bristled at the insult for a few moments, before she forced herself to relax the smallest bit. The least she could do was show maybe the tiniest bit of appreciation at his giving in to her demands.

"Thank you." She bit out around the tight frown that wanted to tug at her lips. "I expect that you'll keep me fully updated on anything that happens. And I _will_ be there when we find my baby, no arguments." He gave her a disgruntled stare, but nodded. Enough of her demands met, Kagura allowed herself to relax a little more, despite Sesshomaru's close proximity.

Even though her baby was gone, she was one small step closer to finding him. And after that, she would fight to never let him leave her side again, regardless of what Sesshomaru wanted.

* * *

Waking up hurt more than he ever remembered it hurting before. Even when he had fallen from the highest monkey bars at the Academy, the pain hadn't been so much. His eyes watering even though they were still closed, Kisekimaru couldn't suppress a whimper.

"Awake already? Hmm… you are Sesshomaru's bastard though." A dark voice that sent shivers down his spine muttered. He could sense that it was near by and that unnerved him, unhinging some of his control. A stiff breeze pushed around where ever he was, ruffling his bangs and clothes. "Stop that, you fucking brat!" A sudden and dizzying pain in his cheek cut the winds off abruptly, and he cried out with tears leaking from his closed eyes. Trying to open them to see who was being so incredibly mean to him, all he saw was more darkness and it frightened him immensely.

"A-Ama…" he moaned out weakly, wanting more than ever to have his Ama's comforting and warm arms wrapped tightly around him, her familiar scent enveloping his senses. From somewhere in front of him, the dark voice laughed.

"Kagura isn't coming." It mocked, and Kisekimaru shook his head furiously. His Ama would always come for him, like she had promised. "Good old Sesshy will certainly make sure of that." Another dark chuckle and Kisekimaru had no warning as pain exploded in his stomach. He screamed in agony, feeling as though he wanted throw up and curl into a ball at the same time. Curling into the fetal position, Kisekimaru began to sob in pain and sorrow.

He only wanted his Ama. He no longer paid any attention to the words that the dark voice before him was speaking, focusing himself inward and down into himself. His Ama had said that finding the deepest, safest place inside was where the core of his powers resided, and all he wanted to be was safe. Slowly but surely, he buried himself among his powers, and felt cocooned safely within the winds that were his own, just like his Ama said he would feel.

Blocking out all else, Kisekimaru refused to know anymore until his Ama had come to rescue him, just like he knew she would.

* * *

A/N- I'm SO sorry this took so long. This was hard to write and refused to come together until a few days ago. Writing that last part was harder than I thought it would be; Kisekimaru is like my own baby too! Thank you to all my anonymous reviewers, whom I can't thank personally like I do all other reviewers.


	14. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**Chapter Thirteen**

Blearily, Kagura blinked awake as the sound of sharp knocking invaded her sleep. With a jaw cracking yawn, she managed to heave herself into a standing position from where she had collapsed on the couch. She cracked the door to the back stairs of the Black Diamond open, mind still on a sleep induced autopilot.

"Not quite awake yet, I see." Kagura's half lidded eyes snapped open at the unexpected voice.

"Sesshy?" The nickname was out of her mouth before she could stop it, and she flinched horribly at her slip up. Looking apprehensively at the imposing man who stood in Bankotsu's doorway, she hoped that he would just ignore it like she was intending to do.

"Kagura." He did. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief before standing straight again, suddenly well aware of the disadvantage she found herself in. She was already off balance and off her game. Sesshomaru stared down at her, one brow slowly rising above the other. "Are you going to invite me in?" Kagura could almost feel the blood that was rushing to her cheeks. She steadfastly ignored it though, stepping back just enough to allow him entrance into Bankotsu's home. He slipped by her the moment there was enough space to do so without touching her, something that didn't slip by her unnoticed. She spitefully mused that perhaps he didn't want to rub elbows with commoners.

"What are you doing here this early Sesshomaru?" Closing the door quietly behind her, Kagura turned a wary gaze to the man in her temporary home. They had come to an informal deal the night before, but she wouldn't put it past him to manipulate her simple terms to his liking.

"You wanted to be a part of my investigation." He said as he placed a briefcase she hadn't noticed on the island in the kitchen. "You weren't answering your cell and weren't at your home. Some workers pointed me up here when I visited the Black Diamond." She cringed once again, knowing that when she was forced to face the servers again, she would have a barrage of questions to deal with. Still, a small piece of gratitude dredged itself from the depths of her heart that Sesshomaru was sticking to his end of the deal.

"Thank you." She muttered, approaching the papers he had been setting out. "But what is there to discuss so soon?" Sesshomaru shot her a disparaging glance, and she felt her hackles rise in indignation.

"There is _much_ to discuss." He said coldly, "Should the police be notified, should a public or private investigation be launched, how will we keep Kisekimaru's absence from the media should we choose to keep it private? Surely you remember _some_ of the public relations you learned before being scandalized?" The offhand comment made Kagura want to throw him out of the apartment, but she reigned in her fury.

"My apologies." She bit out through clenched teeth. "The way _normal_ people deal with such situations is to call the police. But wait, I forget, you're afforded the luxuries that comes with money, like PI's. Please, excuse my ignorance." Her sarcasm cut like a knife for so early in the morning, and Sesshomaru sent her an angry stare, the tiniest bits of red leaking into his golden eyes. Kagura didn't feel much fear, however. She vaguely thought that it might have been because she hadn't gotten the cup of coffee that ensured normal function.

"I didn't have to come here." He reminded her in a quiet, deadly voice. Kagura sighed, rubbing her temples with her fingertips and trying to remind herself that they needed to cooperate to find her baby faster.

"I'm sorry." She sighed, "Let me get some coffee. I'll be more civil after. This is… getting to me." She turned away from the cold dog demon to make herself a pot of the life giving brew. Pulling down the pre-ground beans and a mug, Kagura firmly ignored the situation she found herself in. Denial was the best route until she had gotten her coffee and was rational enough not to outright insult Sesshomaru when he held all the cards. She didn't even want to think about the gaping holes in her heart and her life outside of how she could fix them.

Ten minutes later found a steaming mug of bitter black coffee in her hands and a little more sanity in her mind. She sat at one of the stools opposite Sesshomaru and took a long sip, closing her eyes to relish the bitter flavor on her tongue. When she opened her eyes again, he had slid a few papers towards her.

"I have made up a few contingencies," he said as she lifted them and browsed with more alert eyes. "for each route that we have to choose from." Reading the gist of the papers, Kagura found that her mind was easily made up with the plans laid out before her.

"This has to be private." She said firmly, sliding the papers back towards him, "I don't want any more attention on me and my baby than is necessary." Sesshomaru gave her a look of displeasure, but she brushed it off.

"I agree." He murmured, sliding all but one piece back into his briefcase. As she sipped her coffee with as much calm as she could, he sent her a sidelong, chiding glance. "He is not only your child, you know." The very reminder made her flinch, but she turned cool eyes on him.

"He has been for nearly a decade," she said with calm that came with conviction, "Years of habit don't just go away because you want it to." It pleased her to see Sesshomaru bristle, tiny bits of red leaking into his eyes. She was unconcerned, however, knowing that he wouldn't attack her over such a small thing.

"Try." Kagura rolled her eyes discreetly at his scarce way with words. Still, she nodded, taking another steaming sip of coffee.

* * *

Kagura stood at the doorway to the Black Diamond in apprehension, the brittle strains of jazz that seeped through raised the hairs on her arms and neck. Beyond the thin barrier was, more than likely, the starving pack of gossip hungry wolves that were the waiters and waitresses. Sesshomaru was not one who could walk through and not attract copious attention. And so she stood, wondering whether she could just call down to the bar phone and say she needed someone to cover for her. Anything to avoid the blood letting that was sure to occur were she to cross the threshold.

She was a few seconds away from heading upstairs once more when her choice was made for her. The door opened to reveal one of the newer hires, a young wolf demoness. Kagura couldn't remember her name.

"Oh, Miss Himino!" She sounded shocked to see Kagura standing there, but there was a bright smile on her face. "The others were worried about you, and I was about to go up. Come on!" Kagura flinched as she was grabbed and dragged unceremoniously into the unopened club. Try as she might, Kagura couldn't get the wolf to let go. She stomped angrily along behind as she was led towards the grinning group of servers. Her arm was released from its strangle hold only when she was firmly ensconced in the group.

"What is so important," she began, using the most dangerous voice she could muster, "that we're not opening the club, even though it is _clearly_ time to do so? Bankotsu would have a fit if he were here." One of the girls near her scoffed and waved a dismissive hand.

"But he's not." She said, eyes shining as they narrowed in on Kagura. "And it's not every day that _Taisho Sesshomaru_ comes in, asking for you." Kagura resisted the very dog-like urge to growl at the underlings she was overseeing. She knew it wouldn't do a thing to help her case.

Glancing around her, she knew that from the almost hungry looks that she wouldn't get away without giving out some information. Scrambling to decide what was safe to mention, she brightened when an idea popped into her head.

"If you want the info, you had better give something up." She said authoritatively, glaring around at each and every face. "Or I go straight to Bankotsu to snitch. I have no qualms about it." Impatient, she held up a hand, expecting her payment. Anger and annoyance flashed across every face, but no one wanted to face Bankotsu's wrath. It was only a few seconds later that Kagura found herself seventy dollars richer.

"We used to date in college." She said dismissively, blowing it off as unimportant as she double checked the count of the cash wad. "He comes around every once in a while to get away from the fame and to be anonymous. He knows I won't say anything, and neither will any of you, _right?_" All of the servers nodded furiously at the glare she panned around the group. They parted easily when she turned around to head towards the bar. A glance back revealed a few of the ballsier waitresses reaching for their phones to text and tweet the news. Kagura sighed, pulling out her own cell phone as well.

Sesshomaru would want to know ahead of time about the disaster she was certain was imminent. Stepping back into the stairwell and letting the door shut behind her, Kagura dialed the number she had been given just the night before.

"What is it Kagura?" Sesshomaru's voice was calm, something that marginally soothed her nerves. She didn't want to be the one to break the news to him were he angry.

"You caused a ruckus." She sighed, rubbing her already tired eyes. Her shift would be Hell. "I just wanted warn you. Our names might be in the news soon." The silence on the other end of the line wasn't reassuring, but Kagura resisted the urge to sigh again.

"Why?" Voice flat, Kagura couldn't help but flinch. There was no doubt in her mind that his eyes had leaked red on the other end of the line.

"The servers here are gossip hounds." She confessed, massaging her temple. "You coming in and asking for me was only asking for trouble. All they know is that we dated in college and that you come over occasionally to have some anonymity. A lie, but they ate it up. It'll be on websites within the hour." The sigh that filter through the speaker put her nerves more on edge.

"We'll have to adjust." He said at length. "They don't know that Kisekimaru is my son?" Kagura nodded, even though he couldn't see it.

"They've never seen him and I told them his dad was dead." She admitted a little guiltily, pain reverberating through her as she was once more reminded of the disappearance of her one joy in life. "I didn't want any questions." There was a tense moment of silence, but thankfully Sesshomaru glossed over it.

"Good. That will delay them making any connections." Kagura hummed her agreement, and glanced back at the door. Much to her dismay, it was cracked and she could just see a green eye peeking through.

"I have to go." Kagura muttered darkly, anger seeping quickly into her tone. A warning breeze ruffled her bangs. "It seems that someone was eavesdropping." There was muffled curse on the other end that made the corners of her lips twitch up despite the situation.

"Take care of it." He clipped out and hung up. Kagura shook her head ruefully, pressing the end button with relish. Pausing to gather her anger about her like armor, she took one deep breath.

Whirling around, she shoved open the door with a burst of furious wind and yanked the offender into the stairwell. the door slammed shut behind the server with an ominous echo. The wolf demoness stood motionless before Kagura, this time with the look of a stunned deer. It brought a smirk to Kagura's face.

"Spying?" She said smoothly, voice like velvet. The wolf shook her head frantically, but it only brought a frown to Kagura's features. "What's your name?" Her first thought was to go to Jakotsu with it, knowing that he would tell Bankotsu and she would be vindicated eventually.

"Ayame." She said, voice strong despite the fearful look. Her eyes flashed defiance for a moment before withering a bit. "The others put me u-up to it. I'm the newest, so I had to!" Kagura felt a little of the anger seep out of her, and a little respect arrive in its place. She knew what that was like. Her first few months at the Black Diamond had been similar. Not only that, but she knew she could be terrifying when she was angry at someone. She respected the guts it took to only stutter once when talking to an angry Kagura.

"I'll cut you a deal." She decisively, knowing that allies would be better than enemies. "If you don't spill a damn thing you heard, I won't go to Bankotsu with your name. I'll even get you out of first month hazing." That made her perk up further, standing tall in front of Kagura with a grin.

"Deal!" She said excitedly, thrusting out her hand. "It's only been a week, but man!" Kagura nodded her understanding, shaking the proffered hand quickly.

"When you walk out, tell them that I chewed you out, but you got nothing." Kagura instructed, pacing the small space. "Tell them… that I was calling a sitter." Ayame quirked a brow at that, but Kagura waved off her unvoiced suspicions, ignoring the gut-wrenching pain that accompanied her words. "They know I have a son." The wolf nodded and slipped out the door without further instruction. Kagura sighed heavily, relieved to have gotten an ally among the hounds.

While having a friend relieved some of the stress, she found that it did little to soothe anything else that was going wrong in her life.

Screwing on her best annoyed and angry expression, she marched out the door with heavy footsteps. She tossed a harsh glare over to the still huddled group, feeling vindicated when they collectively flinched and scattered. Stepping behind the bar just as the doors opened for the evening, Kagura pushed out all thoughts that didn't help the easy smile stay on her face. It wasn't shocking when Kisekimaru kept slipping in anyway.

* * *

Stepping into the cool, conditioned confines of his high rise, Sesshomaru felt a sigh of relief escape him. The heat of summer had hit Osaka unexpectedly early, and his suits were sweltering. Tugging at his collar and tie, he strode to the room at the end of the hall.

The door was shut, which was unusual. It brought a saddened frown to his lips to see it, but he pushed towards it regardless. Setting down his briefcase outside his own door, he knocked quietly on the light pink door. The silence was worrying.

"I'm coming in." He murmured, twisting the knob even as he spoke. It swung open with nary a sound.

Lying on the bed, Rin had her face half buried in a plush toy he recognized as Kisekimaru's. The sight of it tugged uncomfortably at his heart, but he brushed the feeling aside. Stepping up to his daughter, he knelt to make eye contact. Her eyes shone with tears and flared an angry red from the salt. He looked into her warm brown eyes for a few long moments, hating the despair and depression he saw there. Sitting down, he stretched out his arms to her. Words weren't necessary.

With a warbling sob, Rin launched herself into his embrace, taking the stuffed toy with her. The tears that soaked his collar shattered his heart, but he showed none of it on his face. Even though his cold heart felt as though it was being ripped apart, he kept his face passive. He would be the strong one.

Rin's keening cries echoed around her room. Gently combing his clawed fingers through her dark hair, Sesshomaru set about calming and comforting her the best way he knew how: just being there. She would want to know that some part of her new family was still with her.

And if it comforted Sesshomaru as well… no one needed to know but him.

* * *

A/N- Sorry this has once again taken a long time. Some parts of this aren't beta-ed so any mistakes are mine alone. Send love to AlyTheTrickster, my beta. Her internet is spotty at the moment.


	15. Slippery Slope

**Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

It had been days. Days and days. As each one passed, Kagura felt another tiny piece of her heart shatter. Ayame had been helpful when Kagura couldn't find the energy to escape lethargy and work her own shift, but it wasn't enough. Those days were ones where the winds that spiraled around in the center of her powers were almost as still as the doldrums, barely a breath of wind in any direction. Only the thought of finding Kisekimaru could stir the stillness.

When she wasn't drowning in grief or working, she found herself pacing the streets of Osaka. Up and down, street after street, she walked. There was nothing she could feel, not a strange stir of wind, nor a gust in her own heart to signify the presence of her precious baby. As much as it was murder on her heart, she hated the worthless feeling that crept up on her if she sat at home hoping to hear news from Sesshomaru.

The call came when she was walking around Dojima, the jangling tone startling her into blowing her hair towards the sky. Her phone blinked up at her as she took it from her pocket, heralding that Sesshomaru wished to speak with her. She could only stare at it with a vague sense of hope before she lifted it to answer.

"Hello?"

"You need to come to the apartment." Sesshomaru's voice wasn't even. Her own demonic ears picked up the subtle wavering in its pitch as he spoke. A cold chill ran down her spine.

"Why? What happened?" He had already condescended her about how she wasn't to go there unless there was an emergency with the case. She felt her free hand start to tremble.

"Just get here. Soon." And with that, he hung up, his voice sounding as close to panic as she had ever heard it. There was no thought or second guessing as she wrenched a feather from her hair. There was only the gale force winds that screamed around her ears as she flew to the complex she had only been to once before.

It was the sound of blood rushing through her ears as she landed on the balcony that alerted her to the shaking of her limbs and the tremble of her lips. As the glass door was opened to admit her, she could only distantly recognize that she was on the verge of breaking down. The strong sense of foreboding she felt only intensified the march towards a break down.

"Come in." Sesshomaru's voice snapped her back to the present. To her relief, he had managed to bring his voice back under control, its pitch as flat and listless as she remembered it always being. It was to her slight chagrin that she felt her lips cease their trembling in response. She entered into the cool shelter of his home.

The sight of Rin bouncing on the couch as she sang along with a show on the television was Kagura's first as she entered. Her feet halted of their own accord, entranced by the happy sight. The scene was a vision of childish happiness that made her heart scream with envy and pain. She could distantly sense Sesshomaru pausing to see why she hadn't followed him, but she couldn't drag her eyes from Rin's glowing happiness. Her imagination could place Kisekimaru right beside Rin, singing along in a much quieter, but no less joyous tone.

"Kagura." She jolted from her painful reverie, head swinging about to look at Sesshomaru. "This way." He gestured for her to follow once more, and she could only go through force of will. Rin's voice was like a siren's call as she walked away.

A few hallways away, Kagura was admitted into Sesshomaru's office, and the door closed behind her. Rin's voice was cut off. That distraction finally removed, Kagura took in the new room.

A fully glass wall encompassed the right side, giving her a panoramic view of the city. It was interrupted only by the large wooden desk that was placed perpendicular to it. She had to admire the fine working of the wood; it was better even than the one she remembered Naraku having. Sesshomaru took a place behind the majestic desk, gesturing for her to take the extra one that was sitting against the opposite wall. She moved it to sit directly in front of the desk before sitting. The silence that engulfed them was heavy with her fear and his solemnity.

"I have received a ransom." Sesshomaru finally broke the silence, sliding a page across the desk for her to read. Her eyes began to scan across the words even as she lifted it. "I got it this morning. There was nothing else." There was no sound as she read over the page.

It wasn't short. Easily most of the page was covered in demands that made her mind gawk at the amount the figures added up to. Between the demands for straight cash deposits and the allocation of a number of Sesshomaru's stock, it was easily adding up to the millions and into the hundreds of millions. But it was the last line of the note that sent a shock through her core and sent the winds at her center howling into a fury.

_And let's keep Kagura out of this._

Indignation shot through her at the same time as a fresh bout of panic. Her eyes flew to meet Sesshomaru's, and she knew they had to be wide with fright.

"It's someone who knows I got Kisekimaru from you." Was all he said as he took the page from her unresisting hands. "How many people know that you had to give him up?" His blunt words made Kagura flinch, but it was clear he had no care for her more delicate emotions. She could feel her emotions bulldozing past the indignation to make way for the racing thoughts that swept in.

"Not many." She murmured, voice shaking. "There was Jakotsu and Bankotsu, the new girl at the Black Diamond, maybe the administration at the Academy when you changed the guardianship? I can't know for sure, but I worked relentlessly to keep anyone even knowing a connection between us to a minimum." Putting her face in her hands, Kagura couldn't stop the shaky sigh that escaped her. A few more minutes to stew on it, and she knew she would be hyperventilating.

"There has to be a reason the ransomer asked to keep you out of negotiations." He said, pushing away from his desk to stand and look out the window. Kagura shook her head.

"No one I can think of would or even could do something like this." She muttered, "Ban and Jak were in the hospital, Ayame learned after the fact, and the Academy screens too rigorously for this to happen." From outside the office, a loud burst of giggles floated through the door, just loud enough to be heard. Kagura's head shot up and around, looking longingly in the direction of the sound. When she could muster the courage to look at Sesshomaru, he was staring contemplatively at her.

"We have to decide again whether to get the police involved at this point." He said as he approached his desk again, "While I believe my negotiation skills and funds are enough to get us through the ransom, you wanted your opinion heard." There was only the slightest hint of disdain in his voice as he said it. In her worn down state, she couldn't muster enough care to even glare at his words.

"The police will blow this wide open." She mused, glancing away from him to look out the window. The sun was growing closer to the horizon as afternoon drifted into evening, and the sky turned a hazy red with the smog and summer heat. "I don't think I could…" She let her sentence hang, too ashamed to say she couldn't handle the paparazzi that would hound her if the case went public.

"Then we agree to keep them out of it." His voice was decisive and Kagura recognized it as similar to the voice Naraku used to use to bulldoze clients into agreeing with him. She tried to shake herself out of her depressed funk to pinpoint why Sesshomaru felt the need to use that voice.

"I think we should," She said slowly, turning a speculative stare on him. "But I do think outside, fresh eyes would be a good thing if we can't figure out who knows both of us are involved in this." She saw the split second of frustration and disappointment in his eyes and knew instantly he had wanted to keep it to him and her. In her gut, she knew that at even a private investigator would be of use at this point.

"If it would make you feel better," Sesshomaru said in a cutting voice, "I can call the family lawyer and investigator, Myouga." The name sparked a vague remembrance in her. It was a few moments before she remembered meeting the miniscule demon once while she was dating Sesshomaru, at a large function he had thrown.

"I think that would be fine." She said after a few more moments thought. "I assume he hasn't been told anything?" Sesshomaru sighed as he picked up the phone on the desk.

"Nothing that I told him." He said while dialing. "But that doesn't mean he hasn't found out through other channels." The look of resignation brought a faint sense of doubt to her decision, but she stayed with her choice. Fresh eyes were always a good thing in her opinion.

* * *

He sat in the chilled atmosphere of his office for a long time after she left. As the moon rose to her throne in the sky, Sesshomaru found himself staring at the chair she left in the middle of his office. There were no words to describe the thoughts flying through his head, fast and hard.

As frustrating as his interactions with Kagura were, he always found himself at a more settled state after them. The ransom and the stress it caused at built up the beginnings of a migraine in him. One whiff of Kagura's scent, and the headache was pushed away. Even though seeing her, keeping the stress off his features, and calling Myouga all added to his stress levels, there was nothing that elicited the same soothing response as seeing Kagura in the flesh did.

He thought back to all the times he had seen Kagura from the time he had gained custody of their son. When Kisekimaru was in the tree, after Kisekimaru had been taken, deciding their course of action, and just before, in going over the ransom together with Myouga. Even though in all their meetings she aggravated him, he was left with a more lasting sense of calm than before she had shown up.

His mind wanted to reason it all away. It rationalized that they had the same eyes, so it reminded him of Kisekimaru. Kagura was a stress outlet he could get angry at and not cause lasting repercussions. She was a mother and all mothers were surrounded with a calming aura that affected those around them. Each reason sounded cheap to his ears, but he refused to entertain anything else.

Sesshomaru couldn't help but noticing things though. They were little things, things that shouldn't have made as much an impact as they did on him. When she had frozen in his living room, eyes gazing longingly at Rin. He had noticed. Not only that, but he had followed her sight and imagined he could see what she saw. Kisekimaru smiling alongside Rin and safe within their grasp. When Rin's laughter had pierced the walls of his office, and she had turned a wistful gaze to the door. He could feel an echoing wistfulness in his heart, and it was the first time he had realized that Kagura was good.

Even to a child not her own, Kagura felt a call of mothering and longing. He had seen the loving way Kagura had looked at Rin. Maybe it was only in the context of her being Kisekimaru's beloved friend, but the instinct was there. And, whether she knew it or not, that mothering feeling transferred over to him. She had caught him staring at her after Rin's laughter, and the remnants of longing made her eyes shimmer like he had never seen them do before. It had set off the same draw and fascination it had in college and while they were dating.

He had also seen the defeat in her posture and demeanor. She walked around with her shoulders hunched a little more than they had been. She always looked to him wearily, as though afraid of what he would take away from her next. There was a heaviness in her step that belied her demonic upbringing, but revealed her exhaustion with what the world had dealt her. He knew now, after having her past after their dating investigated more deeply, that life had not been kind to the single mother with no other income than what she could earn on her own, no other help from anyone.

In all these things, Sesshomaru saw a good that called him to reconsider all he had thought about her. Even his beast felt the calming influence of Kagura's scent and presence. He knew better than to ignore his instincts, but he couldn't let himself be drawn in by her. Changes or no, she was still only the mother of his child under a severe contract. He held all the power and would wield it as logic dictated, not his instincts, for they were what had led him astray with her the first time.

* * *

Sitting in complete darkness, Kagura let herself cry. She let everything go and nearly took down the walls of the guest room she lay in, despondent. With wind howling around her, tears streaming down her face, and her own screaming sobs echoing in her ears, Kagura let the hurt she felt bleed from her.

Her mind blanked for a long while, time not concerning her as she threw the first tantrum she'd had since her first and last one as a child. The sheer maelstrom of emotions made everything external unimportant in comparison.

It was when the fury and hurt had bled itself out and her winds had calmed that she finally found the strength to think about what she was feeling, its causes, and its implications.

The feeling and its cause were easy for her to pin down, rooted deep down in a feeling of betrayal. Someone she knew, who knew her and her most intimate affairs in life, had stolen her child. That feeling went two fold, for there was still lingering resentment at Sesshomaru for his own role in taking her baby away in the first place, but the majority of it had shifted and been leveled at the intangible kidnapper. With Sesshomaru, there was a chance of seeing her baby. With this new menace, she had nothing to give to receive her child in return.

The niggling feeling of helplessness was what made the betrayal hurt that much more. She hated feeling reliant on anyone. Knowing that she was totally dependent on Sesshomaru to sort out the ransom situation grated on every ounce of pride she had.

What was almost the final straw were the implications of her being dependent on him. The thought of being in debt to Sesshomaru if he managed to get her baby back sent chills down her spine. He already wielded an astounding amount of influence over her, retaining the right to withhold visiting her baby if he saw fit. She wasn't sure she could take it if he used his paying the ransom to squeeze any more concessions out of her.

With her temporary room strewn around her, Kagura tried to find the strength to sit up and dash the drying tears off her face. In the face of this most recent blow, she barely had the will to keep her eyes open. The painful realization that her baby may be gone forever was beginning to settle on the surface of her thoughts.

The sound of distant knocking made her jerk from her place on the floor. Her aching eyes drifted to the doorway that was barely visible from her vantage point. The sound continued as she stared dolefully at the door leading down to the Black Diamond. The least of her concerns were running the bar; Bankotsu would understand.

"Miss Himino?" The voice was muffled and barely reached her ears audibly. "Miss Himino, the club is going to open in a few minutes. Do you want us to open without the bar or wait until you come down?" Belatedly, Kagura recognized the voice of her newest ally, Ayame. She groaned as she heard the knocking start once more.

"Damn it, just come in!" She called, finally finding the remaining scraps of her pride as she sat up and wiped away her tears. The annoyance stopped, and the creaked open. Kagura couldn't help rolling her eyes at Ayame's hesitancy. While she understood it, she couldn't find the patience to deal with it.

"Miss Himino?" Ayame only poked her head in, large green eyes swiveling about until they landed on her seated and slumped form. Kagura could barely see the widening of her eyes before Ayame managed to put up a neutral face.

"I'll be down in five minutes." She spat, using her lingering anger at everything to push her into standing. "Just open the damn club and the bar can wait until I get there. No one's that desperate." Turning her back on her coworker, Kagura shuffled to her drawers. The sound of the door closing made her sigh.

She just had to make it through the night and then she could wallow in her misery all she wanted.

* * *

A/N- First off, I want to apologize. This chapter, and frankly, this story, had lost a lot of its shine for me after I had posted the previous chapter. The story was starting to get to the parts that would be more difficult for me, and I had been overwhelmed by classes and my workload. Be that as it may, there really is no excuse for taking so long beyond my own laziness and lethargy. For that, I apologize.

On another note, I want each and every person that follows or reads this story to go thank StraightedgeWingZero. Frankly, without the input I got, there would be no chapter right now. SWZ has sent me more than one private message with encouragement or possible inspiration and for that, I am grateful. This chapter is dedicated to StraightedgeWingZero.

Lastly, this has not been beta-ed. Any mistakes are my own.


	16. A Single Shard

**Chapter Fifteen**

The second note arrived only a few days later, late in the evening. Kagura flew out of her shift on a screaming gale, with only half-heard orders for Ayame to take her place. The flight to Sesshomaru's apartment took moments, ending in a harried landing on his balcony. He was waiting outside for her, hand already sliding the glass door open as she took her first step towards him.

"What did it say this time?" She whispered, adrenalin making her voice sound loud to her ears. Sesshomaru merely shook his head before gesturing to a half-closed door. Kagura instantly clamped her mouth shut, knowing just how hard it was to get a child down again if they were awoken in the night. Trembles skittered about her form as she slipped into his office, the door shutting with a heavy finality behind them.

"The demands have been further increased." Sesshomaru said, frustration evident in his voice. "My counter proposal was duly mocked in the response. It seems the kidnapper has found the audacity of our bargaining to be punishable." Kagura could see the tension in his frame as he ground out the words. The piece of paper was pushed her way with more force than she expected from him.

"What now?" She muttered, eyes darting over the page. "Bargaining was our only…" She paused, having reached the middle of the newest demands. There was a moment of static disbelief before her eyes shot to meet Sesshomaru's. He could only meet her gaze for a second before red started to bleed into the whites of his eyes.

"The punishment was not only in a raising of the price." He spat, reaching into his drawer to pull out a small yellow envelope. Kagura didn't wait for him to give it to her, snatching it away the moment it came within reach. Her hands shook hard enough to make dumping out the contents a struggle.

A few locks of pure, silvery hair drifted into her palm. Something inside her shattered.

"How dare he?!" She screeched, clenching her fist around the soft tuft in her palm. "How dare this… this… _bastard_ do this to my baby!" A fierce blast of wind tore through the office, whipping up the demands and shooting it around the room. Fury, strong and hot, boiled up within her.

"Kagura, control yourself!" Sesshomaru's voice cut through her howling winds, raised for the first time that she had ever heard.

Her ruby eyes glinted dangerously as they cut to him, but softened a bit as they saw the equal fury etched on his own face. She closed her eyes to snap her powers back into her control. The fluttering of the demands nearly echoed in the suddenly quiet room.

"This… _kidnapper_ has seen fit to take a piece of our child and mock us with it." His voice was unsteady, a low growl that sent chills down her spine. "We know nothing for sure of what has been done to Kisekimaru in his absence, but this will not stand." Bleeding golden eyes met hers with a fierce protectiveness she had seen only once before. "This needs to end soon. I will not stand for our child to be harmed in any way, if we can do something to prevent it. For that to happen, we need to uncover this kidnapper." Kagura nodded, voice sealed for the moment at the strength behind Sesshomaru's words.

A small breeze pushed the paper off the ground and back into Kagura's lap. She dutifully turned her eyes to it, seeking out the infuriating statement where she had left off. The rest of the letter was a mix of further taunts, threats against Kisekimaru, and demands. Again, the last sentence caught her eyes.

_You should listen to my advice if you want him safe; it is most sound, I assure you._

"… I assure you." She muttered, testing the way the phrase rolled off her lips. It felt familiar, but only vaguely so. Closing her eyes, she wracked her memories for a time when she had heard that phrase before but came up empty-handed.

"What?" Sesshomaru's cold voice startled her, jerking her head up and meeting his eyes. They were still tinged an angry red.

"This last phrase." She said, placing the battered page on the desk between them. "It seems familiar, but for the life of me, I can't remember why." Frustration shot through her at the admission, causing her to clench her fist. The feel of shifting strands between two fingers had her gaze returning to her palm. The silvery locks glittered nearly gold in the yellow light of the office lamps, only a tinge of silver holding out from the weak light of the moon. Her heart ached, leaving her chest feeling hollow.

"Think harder." He commanded imperiously, abruptly rising from his seat. "For now, you will stay here." She blinked at him, nonplussed at his orders. He gave her a hard look. "It took you too much time to get here. We must act quickly from now on to get our son back." A frown twitched around her lips at the insult, but she said nothing, merely rising to follow him. She counted herself lucky that she was being allowed to have a more immediate involvement in the proceedings.

"Where will I-"

"You will stay on the couch." He cut her off, heading towards the living room once more. "There are blankets in the armoire in the corner. Do try to use your little brain power to remember something." The anger was palpable in his voice before he left her in the hall to head to his own room. Kagura could only silently glare at his retreating and stiff back before doing as she was told.

Seething though she was at his rudeness, that half open door kept her fury firmly sealed away.

* * *

The dawn sun woke Kagura as she slept on Sesshomaru's couch in fits. An irritable mood settled over her as she stood from her vile resting place. She scowled as she approached the glass door that led to the balcony, yanking a feather from her hair.

"Where are you going?" Sesshomaru's imperious voice grated against her stretched nerves, gritting her teeth against the urge to screech at him. Inhaling deeply and hoping for patience, she looked around at him from the corners of her eyes. She didn't bother reigning in her expression, letting her lips stretching into a satisfying sneer.

"To get new clothes and wash up." She drawled, her sneer growing as she watched the frown on Sesshomaru's face deepen at her tone. "Or am I not allowed to do that without your permission?" His eyes narrowed at her, but she didn't bother waiting for his response. She yanked the glass door open and leapt into the sky, allowing a few seconds of free fall before tucking her feather beneath her feet. It expanded and swept her away from the complex that glittered in the early morning light.

The cool kisses of the dawn winds soothed her mood as she flitted over the city towards the club district. Her muscles unwound from their positions of tense readiness. The side door to the Black Diamond had never looked so inviting as it did when she landed before it. She didn't try to stop the tears that sprang to her eyes as she trekked up the back stairs to Bankotsu's apartment. There was no one there to see her, to judge her.

"I hate this." She muttered, head hanging. "Hate it, hate it, hate it…" It was the mantra that gave her the strength to reach the top. It gave her the endurance to stumble into the shower, to cry out as the water splashed cold against her shoulders. As the water warmed, it kept her standing with her head beneath the stream, washing away the tears that proved to her just how overwhelmed she was.

Her heart ached, split in a thousand pieces in thousand different ways. Much of it screamed in pain and longing for the safe return of Kisekimaru to her arms never to be torn away again. Some of it wanted to have her life back, removing everything bad that had happened. A few shards cried weakly for a cigarette to soothe some of the miserable hurt.

But one shard, she knew, cried out traitorously for the comfort it remembered when she was held in Sesshomaru's arms years ago.

"You're a fool to still carry that torch." Her words barely echoed over the rushing water. "You're just an annoyance and former brood mare." The truth of her statement stung, but she kept it close in her thoughts. She would have enough hurt to deal with when… _if_ Kisekimaru was found, and she would need to let him go again.

She turned the water off and stepped into the steamy bathroom, her image hazy in the fogged mirror. In a moment of frustrated whimsy, she scrawled 'I assure you' into the condensation. Stepping back, the sense of déja vu struck her harder than before, but still, she could not remember why.

"Why do I know you?" She whispered into the still air. Long minutes passed as she stared at the words while they faded away with the cooling room. As they grew illegible, a memory struck her.

With a gasp, she closed her eyes to try and hold onto the foggy recollection. She could see her hands holding a thick stack of paper, only the words at the bottom of the page were left clear.

_You would be wise to follow my advice; it is most sound, I assure you._

She could see a few more blurred words at the very bottom, but she couldn't bring them into focus. With a heavy sigh, she let the memory go and opened her eyes.

* * *

"I remembered something." The words left her mouth the instant she stepped into the apartment, sliding the glass door shut behind her. From her place on the couch, Rin turned to look at her.

"Remembered what, Miss Kagura?" Ruby eyes darting around, Kagura couldn't help a grimace when she noticed that Sesshomaru wasn't in the room.

"Nothing Rin," She soothed, approaching the human girl. "Just something Sesshomaru and I were talking about." Rin smiled and turned her head back towards the television, mindless cartoons playing across the screen. Kagura wondered at the resilience of children as she watched Rin quietly mouth the words to the songs. The knowledge of it burned bittersweet in her heart.

"Kagura." She jumped at his voice, her head jerking around to stare at him. Rin giggled at her jumpiness, sending her another happy smile. Kagura tried to return it as she stood from beside her.

"We need to talk." Sesshomaru raised a skeptical brow, but gestured toward his study regardless. She followed wearily, preparing herself for another round of harsh exchange. The click of the door shutting behind her set her nerves on edge. She took a seat.

"What have we to talk about?" He asked when he was finally settled in his chair. Golden eyes burned into her with an intensity that made one shard sing and scream.

"I remembered a little bit of where I had seen that phrase," She disclosed, hiding her eyes in her hands when she could no longer take the stare directly. "I remember reading it somewhere, at the end of this huge document. It was at least a hundred pages long. It's not much to go on, but…" She trailed off, tensing as she waited for the barrage of cool, angry words that berated her information as useless.

"It's something." Came the slow reply. She lifted her head in surprise, the emotion plastered across her features. His eyes were guarded, and she could glean nothing from them. "When was the last time you even handled documents so thick?" She blinked, not having thought to continue that far.

"I'm… not sure." She said. Her eyes darted back to her lap as she tried to think clearly. "It had to have been… before I had Kisekimaru, certainly… while we…" She cut herself off, clenching her fist at her stupid verbal blunder. She didn't dare look up to see his response.

"In college then." His voice was colder than ever, something that sent the single shard into spasms. She nodded once, still too ashamed to look up.

"I was writing and reading papers that long if not longer." She affirmed, running her knuckles across her forehead. "It could have been any of them, but I… I feel like I've seen it more than once. I wouldn't have remembered it otherwise." Her eyes turned toward the glass wall, the city waking up beyond it. Morning traffic was beginning in the distance.

"Something you wrote?" Sesshomaru prompted, but Kagura shook her head swiftly.

"I would have remembered if I used the phrase. But… I feel like I was always proofreading when I read that sentence." She knew that narrowed down the places she could have seen it immensely. There weren't many people she liked enough in college to spend time proofreading their papers for them.

"So someone you knew in college."

"Yes."

"At least we have something to work with now."

* * *

A/N- This has also taken a while, but it's out. It's the beginning of the end now. I'm not sure how long I'll drag it out, but we've hit the start of the downhill. It should wrap up pretty quickly, if I can convince myself to stop torturing Kagura long enough to let them figure it all out. I'd also like to apologize if anyone saw this before I had edited it. I wasn't thinking, obviously. Thank you for reading and for my few reviewers that are left. I love you ALL for sticking with me through that long period of updateless-ness.

T.Q.M.


	17. Awakening

**Chapter Sixteen**

Kagura wasn't sure exactly how long they had spent hashing and rehashing her acquaintances from their college days, but she knew that it was easily one of the most humiliating and frustrating lengths of time she had ever experienced.

Every expression on Sesshomaru's face, no matter how slight, drew her ire. She could easily read the disgust or contempt in his features for each person she named, human or demon. It wasn't just that though. When he had written a complete list of her acquaintances, she was surprised to see just how short it was. A flush of shame fought for a place on her face, but she squelched it mercilessly with the reminder that the list would be even shorter if she did a current list.

"At least this will make less work for me." Sesshomaru's quiet comment barely reached her ears, but it was enough to warrant a furious glare in his direction. He merely turned a cold gaze on her in return. She hated that she was the first to look away.

"What will we do now?" She asked, forcing herself to focus on his hands as he shuffled away the papers into folders.

"We wait." He said tersely, golden eyes narrowing in frustration. "There is only so quickly Myouga can check these." Kagura huffed, the knot of frustration, grief and anger that sat in her chest growing. She clenched her hand into a tight fist.

"Is there anything I can-" The harsh jangling of her phone in her pocket cut off her words. For a moment, she couldn't do anything but look curiously at her phone. The only person who really called her sat right in front of her.

"Answer it." The irritation in Sesshomaru's voice snapped her out of her slight stupor. Scowling, she slipped her phone out of her pocket.

"Hello?"

"Kagura? It's Bankotsu! He's awake!" The excited voice of Jakotsu screamed through the speakers, Sesshomaru's flinch telling her that the volume was obscene. Even so, she couldn't stop the small smile that grew on her lips.

"Really? That's great." Her excitement was lackluster, especially next to the clear exhilaration of Jakotsu. "When did he wake up?" She let her gaze drift up, freezing when she met Sesshomaru's eyes. The clear anger and dismissal there had her bristling, but still rising to leave his office.

"Just a few minutes ago." He chattered, voice faster and higher than it usually was. "You wouldn't believe it. I had just been told by the doctors a few days ago that the longer it went on, the less likely he would wake, but he did! Just like that! I had just been sitting there holding his hand." As he continued on, Kagura let the small smile stay on her face.

As crushing as her life had become, she was glad that her two best friends were both back in the world of the awake and living. While Jakotsu may have been strong, Bankotsu was what kept him going when that strength ran out. If he had died, Jakotsu would have been soon to follow, heart completely broken.

Gently closing the office door behind her, Kagura drifted towards the balcony. Rin glanced at her from her position on the sofa watching cartoons, but Kagura just waved to avert her attention. She was relieved to slide the glass door shut behind her and really be able to listen to one of her only friends.

"- and you know how he is. Only been awake a few minutes and already asking for the finances!" Jakotsu continued his ecstatic gushing. "He wants to see you as soon as possible to go over the numbers, the silly demon." Kagura chuckled at the familiar antics of her boss and friend. A small part of her heart warmed to know he was still the same.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." She pledged, mind already toying with the idea of leaping off the balcony. "Tell him that I haven't ruined his precious, perfect numbers." Jakotsu laughed, and Kagura's heart lifted like it hadn't in weeks.

* * *

When Jakotsu could finally be persuaded to get off the phone, Kagura couldn't help but let out a trembling sigh of relief. As much as she loved her dear friend, he could certainly chatter on without end when he felt so motivated. Stepping back into the cool apartment, she glanced over at Rin.

"Who was that Miss Kagura?" The dark haired child was peeking out over the back of the sofa, cartoons playing behind her.

"Just one of my friends Rin." She said, stepping towards the human girl. "He has been asleep for a long time, and he has just woken up." She brushed aside the hurt that cropped up at Rin's thoughtless giggle.

"He must have been really tired." Rin said, flopping onto the couch properly as Kagura rounded it to take a seat near her. "Now that he's awake though, he has to be excited!" Kagura smiled weakly at the thought process of a child. Rin had no way of knowing that Bankotsu had been hovering between life and death. Her thoughtless words were only a result of her childish innocence. How Kagura craved to have her own child's innocence back with her.

"He certainly is." Kagura agreed, sparing a glance down the hall to the closed door of Sesshomaru's office. She had no doubt that, if he truly wanted to, Sesshomaru would have no trouble listening to every word she spoke. "In fact, he wants me to go see him as soon as possible so we can catch him up on things that have happened while he's been asleep." As she thought it would, her words resulted in the door slowly opening. Her attention returned to Rin as she felt a bitter sort of victory go through her at her accurate prediction.

"Does he know about Kisekimaru?" The subdued words of the usually exuberant child put two pains on Kagura's heart. Tears immediately shot to her eyes, even as she tried to swallow them back for the sake of speaking calmly to reassure Rin.

"He does." She lied. Knowing, even as she spoke the words, that it was only hurting herself. "I just need to talk to him about some things I've been helping with since he's been sleeping." By this time, the frigid form of Sesshomaru was hovering directly behind the suddenly saddened Rin. His golden eyes glared at her, accusation seeping from his every pore. Even Kagura couldn't deny that she had been the one to, even indirectly, cause Rin's downturn in mood.

"Oh." Rin looked at her lap for a few moments before the cheerful cartoons once more caught her attention. Kagura felt a small measure of relief as the child smiled at the antics of the characters.

"Kagura." She knew without even looking that Sesshomaru would wish to talk about what she was and wasn't allowed to tell her two closest friends about the investigation. She knew, in Sesshoamru's eyes, that they were still suspects, even if she could swear on her life that they had nothing to do with it. They loved her baby almost as much as she did; he was easily the child they could never have together.

"I'm just going to talk finances." She said, standing. She spared him only a moment's eye contact before she turned towards the balcony once again. "I won't mention anything about this." It was another lie, one she hoped he wouldn't smell until she was out of the apartment. She wasn't going to wait and see if her hopes were well founded.

With steps she prayed weren't obviously hurried, she once again stepped onto the balcony. The sun warmed her for a moment before she plucked her feather from her hair. She didn't so much as think about looking back as she jumped over the rail, relishing in the few seconds of free fall she allowed herself before taking flight.

* * *

As much as he wished to deny it, each time she disregarded her life so casually as she left caused his stomach to drop for a moment. Golden eyes waited until her slight form shot up passed the window before turning to his human ward.

Rin was as resilient as she ever was, he supposed, watching her once more begin to sing along with some of the cartoons she watched. While he normally loathed having her spend so much time in front of such a brain rotting device, he couldn't bring himself to let her out of his immediate domain. He denied, even to himself, being worried that he would lose another child if she was left to the care of anyone but he.

Sesshomaru turned and strode back towards his office, intent on looking through the list of people he and Kagura had come up with one more time. While they had never run in the same circles before they started their farcical dating, he liked to think that he would have at least a cursory knowledge of whether or not any of the people she knew would have a grudge of some sort against both he and Kagura.

As he sat in his chair, his own cell phone rang, a light buzzing in his pocket. He swiftly tugged it out, glancing at the name that flashed across the screen before pausing.

Kikyou's name blinked up at him, just as annoying as the owner of the name was.

He hadn't seen her in a while, having been caught up in his plans for the hostile take over as well as seeing to his son and ward. She had been an unwanted distraction, but one he hadn't found annoying enough to call off outright. It was obvious she was still trying to make them seem like a couple, even though he had long since dismissed her in his mind.

With an annoyed sigh, he silenced the ringing and sent her to voicemail, knowing he would have to at least listen to part of it later. If he wanted to 'break up' with her without a mess, he would have to go about it correctly. To do that, he would need thought he couldn't spare for her. She was presently pointless in light of his son.

Once more pulling out the pitifully short list of friends Kagura had in college, he set to work thinking about the ways each person had gotten along in the world.

A few, he knew, went on to pathetic mediocrity. They, as far as he knew, had no contact or interaction with him once he had cut ties with Kagura. They may have been indignant on their friend's behalf for his treatment of her, but he doubted that would warrant kidnapping a child almost a decade later.

Many of them, as was expected of the students that attended their school, went on to success in many fields. He recognized a few names, many of them corporate lawyers or financiers that he knew those under him must have dealt with at some point in time. Those he made a mental note to forward to Myouga for further investigation.

With a heavy sigh as he reached the end, Sesshomaru set down the sheet of paper to rub his temples, feeling yet another headache approach him. There was no real promising lead in sight and each day that Kisekimaru was missing was another day that he drifted further out of their reach. Vaguely, he thought to start checking all of the businesses he had done take overs on, but brushed aside the thought just as quickly. That would just put more suspects into the pool, and ones that had even shakier motives than those they already were preparing to look into.

For a brief moment, he found himself wishing he could catch a whiff of Kagura's scent, just to calm himself down a little and settle his thoughts.

* * *

A/N- Sorry for the long break guys. My muse for everything has died. Just died. Only the random reviews I sometimes see are keeping me going occasionally with this. I want to thank everyone that reviewed as well as those who just read. I'm not dead, but don't expect another update for a long time. It's hard, slow going on this story even though I know exactly where it's going. I'm just not sure how to describe the road to get there. It may be a while until the next one. It may be a year or more. I don't know, but I'll apologize now, ahead of time. Also, this is unedited, so mistakes are all me.


	18. Desperation, Desolation, and Devastation

**Chapter Seventeen**

Stepping into the dark apartment she had been borrowing, Kagura had planned on stopping only long enough to pick up the financial records Bankotsu so longed to see. She had planned on spending her day with them before returning to open the club early in celebration of Bankotsu's awakening. She had planned on a lot of things. The moment she stepped into the apartment, her instincts shot into overdrive and everything she planned on fell apart at the vaguely sinister aura that could be felt in the usually welcoming room.

Red eyes almost glowed as they scanned the room. Upon first inspection, not a thing was out of place. She could feel it though; someone had been in the apartment since she had last been there, someone she didn't immediately recognize. When she looked over the room again, a piece of paper on the island caught her attention as being unfamiliar. She approached it with caution, not trusting it to be anything good.

It was a note. As she got close enough to make out the words, she noticed the stationary on which it had been written.

A finger of cold dread slid down her spine when recognition sprang in her mind.

"Fuck." She spat, snatching up the paper with caution thrown to the wind. "Please no. Please. No, no, no…" The more she read, the more a frigid hand wrapped around her heart. Everything started falling into place. The way the kidnapper's scent had been thoroughly wiped from the scene. The way she couldn't feel Kisekimaru's wind stream. I assure you. Even as she came to realization, bitter defeat planted its seed into her heart.

She had been fighting a foe that knew her almost as intimately as she knew herself. Her hand trembled as the implications presented themselves to her.

The only thing Kagura couldn't figure out was why her son had been taken in the first place. He had vowed to cut all contact, and she had done as much as she could to keep herself ignorant of his affairs. Desperately, she wished she had kept even the vaguest tabs on him.

Dashing the note to the side, she sprinted into the guest room she had occupied. A stiff breeze accompanied her, letting out some of the stress she could feel building in her bones. Even as she grabbed the fan she so rarely used, she knew she was running to her death. Up against this foe, she knew that the best she could hope for was a swift death after she managed to get Kisekimaru a safe way to escape.

She rushed through the apartment, bursting out the door and into the sky with a desperate ferocity. In a moment of vindictiveness, she turned the winds to lead her back to her own apartment. When she arrived, she tore through her closet for the one piece of clothing from her old life she hadn't sold to try and keep her head above water after she had Kisekimaru. Stripping quickly, she didn't bother trying to smother the sneer that graced her face as she slid it on. The revulsion was still strong, but he would hate the reminder more than she would. While she may have hated him, she knew that he felt the utmost disgust and abhorrence towards her.

As she grabbed the outer robe to slip on, she paused at the symbol on the back that represented a period of her life she both longed for with a manic desperation and loathed with a passionate hatred. The spider just mocked her from its place on the fabric.

Shaking her head, she threw it on and tied her obi sloppily. She was in the air again within seconds, her fan gripped tightly in her hand as she flew desolately to her death.

"You should never have taken my baby, father."

* * *

As evening began to give way to the darkness of night, Sesshomaru gently pulled Rin away from the television. She pouted up at him for a moment, causing his lips to twitch in amusement at her attempts to manipulate him. After a few moments she sighed and toddled off to the bathroom. He shook his head slightly at her behavior.

Confident that she would put herself to bed, he headed back to his office. While it had only been just over twelve hours since he had given the list of names to Myouga, he wanted to call the slippery man to see what progress he had made. Shutting the door gently behind him, Sesshomaru ran a weary hand through his silver hair.

The stress, he knew, was beginning to get to him. He had been uncommonly short with Kagura while they had been discussing things. Looking out the window, he saw that the moon had just risen above the city skyline. The orb's radiant glow caused a pang to strike his heart; its pale shine evoked the color of Kisekimaru's hair. He couldn't help himself as he dug through one of his drawers to withdraw the lock of his son's hair.

Looking at it, a heavy sadness weighed on his chest. During the day, when he could keep his mind occupied, the pain of his missing heir could be pushed to the back of his mind, subsumed by other, more immediate worries. At night, when Rin had been put to sleep and Kagura had left his presence, it was all he could do to keep the beast inside him leashed. It howled in a mix of fury and anguish, crying out for the pup it had lost.

During those times, Sesshomaru could understand the misery that he had put Kagura through. He had swiftly and ruthlessly stolen their child from her. He had not allowed her to see him legally but for two days a year, or the times he had needed her to fix a problem. He had even dangled their son before her only to steal him away again. The parallels he could see between himself and the kidnapper did not ease his guilt or sadness.

Sitting at his desk and rubbing the lock of hair, Sesshomaru made a decision.

He recognized, even if only to himself, that he had been needlessly cruel to the woman who had so painstakingly raised their child, working to the bone to give him the same opportunities in life Sesshomaru would have. To steal Kisekimaru away had been brutal; he knew now part of the pain he caused her.

Glancing at the clock, Sesshomaru made up his mind to call Kagura in the morning. He would work out a new contract with her to share custody more fairly. As soon as they got their son back, they would have him back as equally as possible. It was the least he could do to try and make reparations for the pain he had caused her.

* * *

Kagura was tired. She was so, so tired. She had been flying frantically since she had found the note, pushing the winds harshly to do her bidding. While they were happy to do her will, she had to fight the natural currents of the season to continue on towards her destination. With each second that passed, she could feel her grip over the winds loosening. On her right, the moon had risen halfway up the sky.

In spite of her rabid desperation to reach Kisekimaru, she knew she had to stop eventually or risk plummeting to the ground when her exhaustion removed her control. Even though she knew this, there was no desire to stop, to even slow down the slightest bit.

Her baby needed her, and she would go to him as quickly as she could.

A small part of her, the part that preached self-preservation above all else, murmured that she would stand no chance against Naraku if she showed up drained and weakened. With her cold, stiff limbs and bleary eyes, he would annihilate her the moment she showed up and tried to attack him. Too few people would miss her if she never showed up again that he wouldn't hold back for a second.

The mothering side of her was torn. Much of it wanted to fly, fly onward until she had set eyes on her baby. Other parts wanted to rest so she would be capable of fighting to at least free Kisekimaru, to give him a chance at escape, at life.

In the end, the winds made her decision for her. Against her command, the wind pushed her down gently to the earth, forcing her to make ground in a wild field. Wearily, she glared up at the sky. The winds merely whistled around her in reproof, pushing her towards another area of the field. When it stopped, she was standing before a place where it was clear that deer had recently bedded down.

With a sigh, Kagura allowed her feather to shrink as she headed toward a thick bush. The night was warm, heating her a bit despite the cold caused by her high flying altitude. She tucked herself close to the bush, using it to block the slight breeze she could feel.

As she settled down to sleep, she speculated how much farther she had to go before she reached her destination. She had passed over Fukushima a little over an hour before, but she had yet to encounter Yamagata. Despite the hours of travel, she realized she was only just halfway to reaching her precious baby.

"I'm sorry Kisekimaru," She whispered to the night. "I'm coming to get you as fast as I can, I promise my baby." Her ruby eyes stung, but she didn't cry. She couldn't cry, _wouldn't_ cry, until she knew that her baby was safely away from her maniac of a father. Only when he was away from her, would she let herself cry as she fought to keep Naraku from capturing him again.

Laying in the dark, Kagura once more thought of how her mission was essentially a suicide run. Over the years, she had not kept herself in form as she had been forced to when she lived under her father's rules. Naraku had trained every morning, she recalled despondently, practicing to cut down enemies only he could see. She had once sat on the sidelines of the dojo, watching as he fought his sparring partner.

Even when she had grown older and further from her father, still she had been expected to go to her fighting lessons. With vague trepidation, she recalled how he had once screamed at her that they should and would always be ready for war. The few times she had fought with him physically, she had walked away with pains that took weeks to heal. Even then, she knew he had held back on her, being the one he had trained the longest to take over the family business.

Staring up at the stars, she regretted not keeping up with her training. He would, most likely, still be strong and swift. Not only that, but she knew he would definitely play dirty when they fought. Any mistake she would make, he would exploit it to the fullest. Any tiny opening she left for him, he would use to attack her as brutally as he could manage. She didn't stand a chance. The only advantage she would have over him was one she almost didn't care to count.

She would do anything, _anything_, to make sure her baby got away from him, even if it meant she had to die in the process.

As she began to drift off into a restless sleep, the vague thought of calling Sesshomaru for back up formed in her mind. She entertained it for half a second before the warning her father had given her flooded back to her.

_If I so much as _sense_ Sesshomaru, your bastard will die painfully._

* * *

A/N- Holy shit guys. This one came out fast. I blame my amazing reviewers. You guys motivate me, even if it takes a while. In other news, Sesshy grows a conscience, and now we know who stole Kisekimaru. Not that some (many) of you hadn't already guessed that. My subtlety isn't exactly the best. Thank you in advance for the reviews and support guys. It means a lot to me.


	19. Crossing Swords

**Chapter Eighteen**

Morning dawned with a cold light, one which Sesshomaru could feel piercing the delicate skin of his eye lids. For a long moment, he didn't move, denying that the call of the day had reached his ears. When he heard the patter of tiny feet, he opened his eyes to the sunlight, sitting up in time to see Rin peeking her head into his room.

"What is it Rin?" He questioned softly, voice still rough with the sleep he had indulged in for once. She said nothing, edging her way into his room before plodding towards his bed.

"I had a dream Papa." She admitted after a few moments long quiet. Sesshomaru raised a brow, wondering what had prompted his human ward to bring this news to him. While she would occasionally approach him with her rare nightmares, she often just chattered on about her fanciful dreams during breakfast. Not only that, but she had dropped her habit of speaking in third person, indicating the level of her distress.

"What about?" She bit her lip, tawny eyes fixed on the floor. Worry began to seep into his mind the longer she remained in an uncharacteristic quiet. "Rin, what did you need to tell me about your dream?" She flinched a bit at his soft words, but scrambled onto the bed with him. He only had a moment to prepare before she had latched herself onto his torso, burying her face into his shoulder.

"I was in this dark, dark place." She whispered, her already quiet voice further muffled by his flesh. Feeling how she began to tremble slightly against him, he couldn't bring himself to move her from the position she found comfort in. "It was dark and very, very quiet. I could not see anything. But… I was not by myself. It was windy there." Sesshomaru's heart stopped for a moment, golden eyes widening down at the small human girl curled around him.

"Even though it was dark, I could hear someone crying." She continued on after a long moment of silence. "It sounded like… it sounded like Kisekimaru." She admitted, tightening her small arms around him. The scent of tears brought a hand around his heart, tightening with each tremor and tear he could feel.

"I tried to find him!" She said, voice louder in her distress. "I did, I did. But I could not! He just kept crying and crying…" Her voice shook by the end of her declaration. With almost numb hands, Sesshomaru allowed himself to sit and comfort her as best he knew how, running careful fingers through her sleep knotted hair. She whimpered every few moments, clutching at him tighter with each sound.

"Be still Rin." He said after it was clear she wasn't getting better. "Do not fear; Miss Kagura and I are looking for him. We will find him." Rin nodded against his neck, her trembling softening a bit at his confident words. He was glad that her distress was lessening. The scent and reality of tears always put his beast on edge.

"Let's get ready for today." He said after long moments of continuing to run his fingers through her hair again. "Miss Kagura will be here today; you need to get dressed." She nodded again, staying in place for a long moment before she let go of him with extreme reluctance. There were a few tears still shining in her eyes, which tugged at his still sleep softened heart. When she managed a tremulous smile, he nodded at her and stood.

"When will Miss Kagura get here?" She asked as she grabbed his hand, heading towards the bathroom near her room. He let her lead him as she would, knowing that she needed him there to help stabilize her.

"I will need to call her first." He said softly. "She stayed at her home last night." Rin hummed a bit, a small part of her joy coming back to her at the thought of Kagura returning to the apartment. Sesshomaru felt the hand around his heart loosen a bit to see her return to herself, even if only that little bit.

As she went about her morning routine, Sesshomaru headed to her room to pull out a set of clothes for her. He selected her clothes without thought, knowing they would likely not be leaving the house. He was not needed in the office and all business with Kagura could be conducted in the security of his office. What Rin would look like was not of import.

He returned to the hallway outside of Rin's bathroom, satisfied to see that Rin was brushing her teeth. Listening to her garbled singing, he turned his thoughts to the decision he had made the night before.

In the dark, panicked depths of night, he had thought calling her to rework the contract was a good idea. In the harsh, bright light of day, he could immediately see that it was something of a foolish endeavor. The feelings of guilt had been magnified by the smothering fact that his beast had been rattling fiercely at its cage. His choice had been made with a muddled mind. He was simply glad he hadn't decided to call her immediately.

Thinking of the phone that was sitting on his bedside table, part of him still urged to retrieve it and call her. The part that felt the shame most deeply whispered for him to rework Kagura's contract.

"Have you called Miss Kagura yet Papa?" Rin light voice pulled him out of his thoughts, her spritely voice slightly chiding in its question. He shook his head even as he ushered her into her room to change. "You should call her! Rin wants to tell her about something Rin saw yesterday on TV." Sesshomaru simply prodded her closer to her clothes before retreating to his own room to prepare for the day.

He dutifully ignored his cell phone just as he ignored the whispers to call her.

* * *

The air grew colder the farther north she flew. High in the sky where the air grew thin, Kagura ignored the prickling of her cold limbs. As Sapporo passed in the west, she veered sharply east to the home where she had grown.

She had woken before the dawn, body stiff with pain and aching. Ignoring it, she had thrown her feather to the sky and resumed her desperate flight to reach her son. While the sun crawled higher into the sky, she pushed her still tired body to go ever faster. There would barely be enough time for her to reach her baby if she went as fast as the winds would carry her.

Naraku had set a time limit with purpose, she knew. He was securing his victory with every second she pushed herself harder, but she couldn't bring herself to care. It wasn't her personal victory she desired. As long as she could get Kisekimaru out, she would happily fall on the sword. She could only hope that she would be able to take her despicable father with her.

Shaking her head to bring herself back to the present, dull ruby eyes caught sight of the well hidden manor that housed the Himura Family and served as the headquarters of the family business, Hakujou Real Estate. With a shaking body but firm mind, she passed over the house itself, heading instead to the storage building she knew to be on the edge of the property. He had told her that he would be waiting there.

When the building drew near, she touched down, stumbling slightly as her landing was rougher than she intended. Kagura couldn't restrain the grimace that slipped across her face at the obvious tell that she was far weaker than she normally was.

The country air around her was heavy, despite it being a mild summer in Hokkaido. As she gazed at the foreboding structure before her, she recognized that every bit of that weight was the knowledge of who she was going to face and the inevitable outcome of that battle. The countryside that was so inviting outside of the Himura grounds seemed ominous and oppressive. The weight of memories pressed down on her as well, making her first step towards her baby difficult.

Despite her trepidation, she persevered. Taking it one step at a time, she only allowed herself to focus on getting inside. Once she was there, then she would take the time to think about what she would do when faced with her father.

The familiar door was soon before her. Stretching out with her senses, she could feel the heaviness within the building, so much stronger than it was outside. The wind struggled to stir, halted by the force of Naraku's powers. A sense of doom made a shiver run from down her spine, but she shook her head against the feeling. Even when each step felt like it was to her death, she couldn't bring herself to stop.

There wasn't a single sound as she pushed open the door. It struck her as odd. She could always remember the door squeaking before; she had used it enough times as a warning when she had hidden from Naraku's wrath. Ignoring the abnormality, she pushed onward. The crates and junk hadn't moved much since she had still lived there, for which she was glad.

The heaviness inside made her steps loud in the suffocating silence. She could feel him all around her, but the majority of it was emanating from a point towards the back. As her senses spread out further, she tried to pick up even the slightest breeze from Kisekimaru. More and more, desperation settled itself into her stomach. When she was close to where she could feel Naraku at his strongest, she hadn't picked up even the slightest hint of her baby.

"Welcome back Kagura." His voice was velvet, making a hard shudder wrack her frame. She didn't want to remember the last time he had used that voice with her.

"Naraku." She returned softly as she turned the corner.

He looked the same as he always had in her memories. His long hair drifted down his back. The same traditional outfit he wore whenever he was in the country home hugged his frame. His red eyes were the smug reflection of her own defeated orbs. The nasty expression of victory on his face she recognized from the times she had accompanied him to meetings where negotiations had gone exactly as he'd planned them.

It was that look that told her she would likely be swatted down without a thought. And, for once, all of her was in agreement for a single long moment.

She would fall on the sword, but she would take him down with her.

"It's just like old times." She said, voice barely carrying in the thick atmosphere of the room. When he did nothing more than smirk at her, she continued. "Where is my baby?"

"He's right here." Naraku glanced down to a huddle of cloth that had been at his feet. Kagura felt her heart break as he roughly shoved the cloths aside, revealing the sleeping form of her precious child.

Unbidden, she took swift steps towards him, but the sudden appearance of a cut on her cheek halted her steps. She raised her eyes to meet his, barely noticing as the tentacle that had inflicted her injury retreated back into him.

"Ah, ah, ah…" He chided her, finally moving from his position leaning against one of the larger crates. "Not so fast Kagura." For the first time in a long while, true and unadulterated rage flooded through her at the condescension in his tone. With it came some of the power exhaustion had sucked from her.

Her powers screamed out of her, lashing violently against the abnormally still aura of his own. Hope flared bright and hot within her as she saw the air currents in the building start to move, the ones closest to her whipping with her fury. Her eyes lit with a fierce glow.

She barely had time to recognize what was coming as Naraku's eyes narrowed. The puff of air against her skin as she leapt to avoid being gutted by another tentacle was the only warning she got that the battle to be waged.

All thought, all reflection, dissipated in the moment that puff of air sunk in, and all that was left was instinct, pure and raw. Her fan was out in a split second, whipped open to more finely control the currents that were finally swirling freely around her. Her feather enlarged to take her weight as she took to the marginal sky the building offered. She needed all the maneuverability she could get as she pushed the wind to help her dodge wave after wave of punishing and deadly attacks.

A flick of her wrist sent wind sharper than knives at her father. At the smirk on his face when they contacted a tentacle, she let loose a stream of curses. Acrid purple miasma burst forth from the wound, and she rushed to blow it all away, a sleeve darting up to cover her nose and mouth.

"You should be more careful how you throw around your winds." Naraku taunted from his place on the ground. "You wouldn't want to hit your little bastard, now would you?" Her eyes widened at his words, darting around to try and find where her baby was among the miasma. It was to her horror that she could see him at Naraku's feet, still curled up. She spared a gentle wind to banish the miasma around him, but felt her heart constrict as he groaned and moved.

"Kisekimaru!" She cried, instinct driving her to dive towards him, damn the fact that he was right by Naraku.

She reached him, but the toll she paid was high. Her lungs burned with her father's poison. A heavily bleeding wound at her waist stained her entire left side an ugly brown. Her head was rocked by the glancing blow she had just missed completely dodging. Her lower left leg was shattered from the crushing blow he had landed on her with his fists when she had stopped at the ground to grab her baby. As she had fled madly away from him back towards the entrance, she felt the tentacle that split to brand her skin with acid.

It was worth it when Kisekimaru opened his eyes and spoke.

"Ama?" His voice was thick with disuse, but she didn't care. Through her pain, she managed to smile at him.

"Baby, I'm going to put you down." She said in a hoarse whisper, zig-zagging through the aisles in an attempt to shake the creeping miasma and tentacles hunting her. She was close to the entrance. "When I do, I need you take my phone and run. I'm going to call Sesshomaru for you and I want you to tell him we're on the Himura Estate. Tell him to come get you." Even as she spoke, she pulled out her cell phone. She was beyond thrilled that she had managed to remember to tuck it into her obi.

Her pain clumsy hands barely managed to find Sesshomaru's contact and press call before she touched down at the entrance.

"Ama, wait!" She didn't listen. "Please Ama, come with. Please." As much as it hurt her heart to ignore his pleas, she let them fall on deaf ears. She shoved the phone into his hands and pushed him out the door. His confused, hurt, _desperate_ red eyes met hers for only a moment before she screamed at him for the first time in his life.

"Run!" She shrieked, putting all her fear and hope into the word. "Don't look back!" He hesitated for only a moment before he did as she commanded, holding tight to the phone that she knew was still ringing in his grasp. Relief shot through her even as she turned to face her death. When Sesshomaru heard her baby's voice and knew where they were, he would come.

He would come faster than she ever could, in the ball of light she remembered him using only once before. He would come and take Kisekimaru away, but she knew it would be too late for her. Launching back towards Naraku, she could only find within herself a sense of peace.

Wind blades flew from her fan with reckless abandon.

Kisekimaru would be safe.

"Dance of the Dragon!"

Even if she never saw him again in this life, he would be safe.

"Damn you Kagura! Die, you vile bitch!"

That was all that mattered.

* * *

A/N- Aaaand... there goes Sesshy's moment with his conscience. I hope you guys don't kill me for leaving it hanging like this. I haven't done a proper cliff hanger in quite a while. Anyhoo, next time we'll probably get Sesshy's and Kisekimaru's versions of this battle. Thank you so much for all my readers and especially my reviewers who have kept me alive all this time. It's your guys fault that I'm pumping out these chapters so fast.


	20. Don't Look Back

**Chapter Nineteen**

Since he had settled her in front of the television once more, Sesshomaru hadn't heard a peep out of Rin, about Kagura or otherwise. There was a heavy sense of relief at that, but an equally heavy and more pervasive sense of guilt that went with it. A part of him knew that, as much as he wished to deny it, he was avoiding the call to Kagura.

The contract he had essentially blackmailed her into signing had been a stroke of bitter genius on his part. It had let him have all the control, all the power, in the dealings between the two of them. Now that he knew what being on Kagura's end of the bargain felt like, he didn't want to acknowledge, let alone admit, to her that he had been overly harsh and in the wrong.

Even though he didn't want to, the brilliant vermillion eyes that haunted him each time he closed his own were pushing him closer and closer to actually pressing the call button.

Heaving a heavy sigh in the privacy of his office, Sesshomaru put down the phone and strode over to the glass wall. His view of the city was one of the better ones, situated over shorter buildings and overlooking Osaka Bay in the distance. With the midday sun blazing overhead, the bay sparkled beautifully in his sight.

He could, if he thought long enough, recall the way the bay looked before the humans had started building anything more than their huts along it. For a moment, he was nostalgic for the times of flagrant war between the demons, while the humans toiled away ignorantly in the background. Now, there was simply the machinations of the demons as their companies fought and consumed each other, even if the relative boundaries drawn by previous wars still stood.

Shaking his head, Sesshomaru brushed his nostalgia aside as he returned to his desk. While he didn't necessarily have to focus on work, he wanted to do something other than stew in his guilt and avoid calling Kagura.

Midway to his desk, his phone began to ring.

For a moment, he paused in his stride, a bit perplexed. He had set a specific time for Myouga to call him with information on those the man had managed to go through in his preliminary digs. Jaken was still in disgrace in his eyes, and was still currently banished to his country estate. Kikyou, while impertinent enough to call him, would likely not be awake. Being Saturday, she was likely still passed out from whatever drunken escapades she had gotten up to the night before.

When his ringtone began again, Sesshomaru shook himself from his thoughts and swiftly grabbed the jangling device. He paused again when he noticed Kagura's name flashing across the screen. A massive surge of guilt crashed into him, making him tighten his grip on the phone. Part of the glass cracked a bit before he could reign in his physical reactions. His mind whirled with only one question really standing out from the normally ordered chaos.

Why would Kagura be calling him? He usually called her.

As he pressed the talk button and lifted the phone to his ear, he couldn't stop the feeling of trepidation that caused a chill to run down his spine.

"Kagura?"

* * *

The darkness was… both comforting and terrifying. While he could feel the familiar winds of his own powers completely engulfing him, he couldn't sense even faintly the winds that made up his Ama's. The wind with a different feel that kept his own powers corralled and controlled when he was lacking focus was gone. The comfort it usually brought was gone, but to be so completely surrounded by his own powers was its own form of comfort.

Sometimes though, he couldn't help himself. No matter what his Ama said, he couldn't stop the tears sometimes, the tears that grew into body-wracking sobs with no one but himself around to keep in check.

He stayed in the darkness and wind for a long time. He wasn't sure how long, but when he felt the first stirrings of a foreign presence, he had rejected it. It had been so long, he had hoped so much and been let down, that he hadn't dared to hope again.

When the foreign presence became a foreign wind, his winds immediately kicked themselves up into a frenzy. He knew that wind, that presence. It had changed a bit, become tired and sad, but it was still the same at the core.

His Ama had come for him.

Fighting to lift himself out of the darkness and wind he had cocooned himself in, Kisekimaru made the slow ascent to consciousness.

The flight wasn't easy. As quick as it had been to sink himself into the winds of his core, fighting his way out was more difficult. His Ama hadn't let him learn the art of wind flying. She had said he was too small to fly on a feather of his own, and she hadn't wanted to risk him on her own. Thus, trying to navigate the winds on the mental feather he had never used before made the trip arduous. More than once, he had slipped and fell a bit back into himself.

He didn't give up.

It was only when he felt his powers completely surrounded by his Ama's that he could grab onto her wind and pull himself up with that anchor. He surfaced into consciousness with a groan, his whole body radiating a dull ache.

Screaming wind and thunderous crashes sounded dangerously close and awfully distant at the same time. He still hadn't managed to open his eyes when something yanked his body off the ground and into one that, even without sight, he recognized immediately. His powers tried to flare in delight at once more having his Ama close to him, close like he hadn't had her since she had talked him into accepting Mr. Sesshomaru, but he found that her own wind was too tightly clamped around his own to do so.

"Ama?" His throat ached as he managed to speak, peeking open his eyes.

Taking in the sight of his Ama for the first time in what felt like forever, a mass of tangled confusion and fear dove into his gut.

He had never seen her look like this. She wore clothes he had never seen before, but they were dirty and torn. Her face was covered in dirt and cuts, and a red substance leaked weakly but steadily out of her mouth. His sensitive ears could pick up the wheeze and gurgle of each quick breath she took. As his eyes drifted down, he noticed a creeping red darkness that came from a large cut on her side. His stomach rolled sharply as he noticed that the red substance, _blood_, was pumping out of her and spilling onto _him_. The wet feeling against his stomach and legs made him shudder.

What scared him the most though, was the expression of wild terror on her face that showed through even when she tried to smile for him. Most of him was numb as she spoke to him, simply taking her words in and storing them, knowing instinctively they were important. Another part of him trembled in fear and denial at the state his Ama was in.

When those words sunk in, she was already pulling out a bloody phone and using clumsy hands to push the buttons. His ruby eyes, such beautiful copies of her own, widened when he noticed that the feather was slowing to a stop.

"Ama, wait! Please Ama, come with. Please." The words tumbled from his mouth, knowing that, from her words and actions, he would be alone when he ran, when Mr. Sesshomaru came for him. Looking into eyes that matched his own, he was frightened to see so much pain there, so much sadness. When the ringing phone was shoved into his chest, he grasped it with numb fingers, but didn't move beyond that. He wanted his Ama to come with him, _stay_ with him, _protect him_.

"Run! Don't look back!" Kisekimaru startled at her tone, never having heard the desperation or even the scream before in his life. One look at her beseeching eyes had him turning and running as fast as he could, no matter that he his eyes blurred with tears and his body hurt with each step.

The door he sprinted through slammed shut behind him, cutting off the feeling of her familiar winds. He stumbled a bit at the loss of the sensation, but kept running. His Ama had told him to do this one thing, and he would.

As he ran, he tightened his grip on the phone that rang in his grasp. He heard the ringing, even though it wasn't pressed to his ear. His eyes darted about as the sound stopped, and the voice of Mr. Sesshomaru filtered through the phone.

"Kagura?"

For a few long moments, he could do nothing but pant and run, putting all distance between himself and the place his Ama had forced him from. When Mr. Sesshomaru called his Ama's name again, Kisekimaru found his voice.

"Mr. Sesshomaru." He gasped, thrusting the phone close to his lips to be heard better. "A-Ama said to come. She said… She said to come to the H-Himura Estate. To come… come get me." He forced out the last words, trying not to think about how she hadn't said to get _her_. He may have been young, but he knew that she wasn't going with him.

Kisekimaru didn't hear what Mr. Sesshomaru said after that, content to simply run with his message delivered. In the distance, he could see a large house, much larger than any other house he had ever seen. His first instinct said to run towards it, but he resisted. His Ama had said to run, but she hadn't said to where. He didn't know how long it would take Mr. Sesshomaru to come for him, but he didn't want to stop running.

Trembling legs slowed as his mind warred, but he quickly decided to run towards the house. He wouldn't enter, but he would run towards it. Hadn't his teacher said an estate had a house? Mr. Sesshomaru would know where to look if he was at least near the house.

Blood and wind screamed in his ears as he ran; he could feel his hold over his powers slipping as he got further from the safety of his Ama. Her wind had been so tight around his, he hadn't had to think about exerting any type of control over it. Now that he was away from her, he could feel it spiraling out of his grasp. It whipped his silver hair around his face, the long strands stinging when they smacked against his skin.

He was a little over halfway across the massive field when he noticed a ball of light speeding towards him. There was no time to think about whether it was a danger or how to avoid it before it was upon him, engulfing him in light so bright it blinded him.

All he knew was that in the next instant there were strong arms around him and the sensation that always went with Mr. Sesshomaru filled his senses. The feeling of security that swept over him was so strong that his legs gave, trembling too hard to hold his weight. He didn't move an inch, wrapped securely in the arms of… of his Opa.

"…gura, where is Kagura?" Kisekimaru blinked as the sound of wind and blood rushing through his ears receded enough for him to hear the swift words of his Opa. For a moment, when his vision cleared, he just looked up at his Opa, the man that he looked so much like that he sometimes made his Ama cry. He barely registered that gold eyes bled with furious crimson the longer he stayed quiet.

After a moment, he lifted a trembling arm to point behind him. His gaze escaped his Opa's to turn and follow where his hand pointed. The building he had run from was rippling with power and surrounded by screaming winds only he could hear in his head. He knew they were the thrashing winds of his Ama.

"She said don't look back." Kisekimaru whispered, fear clawing into his gut abruptly. "Ama!" He tried to lunge against the arms that held him, but they were far more effective restraints than he wished. The image of the building wavered as his eyes filled with tears, and he struggled futilely against his Opa.

It was the last he saw of the building before the light blinded him again. He couldn't take it anymore and descended into unconsciousness.

* * *

A/N- Man, I feel kind of cruel, dumping these awful cliffhangers on you guys. But hey! We get to hear from Kisekimaru for the first time in forever! In case it hasn't become obvious at this point, I'm pants at writing battle scenes. Thus why we won't be hearing from Kagura this chapter, maybe even the next. We'll see. Thank you so much to my readers, and especially to my reviewers. I love you guys. You've resuscitated my muse and brought her back! (Even if she is a bit of a zombie now) We're getting to the end of Giving Up and Giving In; not many more chapters after this, I don't think.


	21. Retribution

**Chapter Twenty**

The instant Kisekimaru had said Himura Estate, lots of things fell into place. For a timeless moment, everything that had made little sense in his investigation became crystal clear in the larger scheme of things.

In that moment, Sesshomaru cursed his packaging Kagura in his mind as a lone entity, not tied to any family or name beyond herself. If he had made the connection to her family and her family's business sooner, the situation wouldn't have dragged on as it had.

When the panting breath of his son reached passed his thoughts, Sesshomaru snapped into furious motion.

He burst from his office, reaching Rin in the living room before she had time to turn around at the noise his exit caused. Her eyes were wide as she took in his appearance, but his mind was on other things.

"Rin, I want you to stay in your room until I come back." He instructed, lifting her effortlessly from the couch. His strides were inhumanly swift as he approached her door. "I am going to get Kisekimaru. You _must not move_ until I return, is that clear?" He settled her quickly on her bed, pausing his frantic movements only to stare into her shocked brown eyes. A small part of him was worried about leaving her behind so abruptly, but it was drowned in the howls of his beast.

It called for him to reclaim his pup.

He remained motionless until she nodded, breathing a sigh of relief before sprinting from the room. It was only a few moments later that he found himself outside of his apartment building. Closing his eyes, he called upon a form he hadn't needed in years. If he remembered correctly, Kagura had been the last one to see him as such.

When he felt only the buzz of energy that came when he was fully transformed, the ball of light that carried his essence shot away towards the north.

Sesshomaru had only been to Himura Estate once, taken there in secret on Valentine's Day, when Kagura's family had been absent. She had wanted to lay in the field and stare at the sky above, if he remembered correctly. Despite years having passed, he still remembered exactly where it was.

Within minutes, he could feel himself hurtling towards the property, a strain of relief hitting him when the familiar fields came into view. A deeper relief crashed over him as he noticed a small figure stumbling towards the main house through the fields.

He transformed back the instant he was before his son, catching him in a tight embrace as his beast howled its relief. His eyes roamed over Kisekimaru's form, desperately looking for injuries he could see. It was only a second after he started his search that his nose picked up the cloying, metallic scent of blood. As the initial relief faded away, he noticed more and more things.

His pup was trembling, legs no longer supporting the small body. As he held him away from his body, Sesshomaru's nose picked up the subtle difference in the scent of the blood that covered Kisekimaru's stomach and thighs. A strange mixture of consolation and guilt washed over him as he acknowledged that the blood didn't belong to the tired pup in his arms, but to someone else. That guilt increased when his brain finally recognized it as Kagura's blood.

"Where is Kagura?" The words flew from his mouth before he could think to check them. As he looked into red eyes that were the exact copy of hers, he couldn't help himself. "Where is Kagura?" Kisekimaru blinked and stared at him for a long moment. A small part of him recognized that his pup was likely in shock, but much of him was roaring to find the demoness who had borne him his son and heir.

He could feel his eyes bleeding red when a shaking arm raised to point behind a tiny body.

His gaze immediately shot to the building that he distantly recalled being used for storage. Kagura had stolen a chair from it for him to sit on when he had mentioned the indignity of sitting on the ground. She had laughed.

From the amount of power and malice that radiated from it now, he knew that he would not be able to get her as long as he had Kisekimaru with him. He felt the small body in his arms turn to look at the building as well, and he tightened his grip when he felt his pup tense.

"She said don't look back." The whispered words sent a harsh pain to Sesshomaru's heart. He knew, he _knew_ the message she meant to send with those words, and all of him wanted to deny it. "Ama!" His pup leapt and strained against his arms, but he didn't relent his grip. He spared a moment to stare at the building, seeing the sick purple miasma of her father begin to seep out of cracks in the structure.

As he closed his eyes to transform with their son, Sesshomaru spent a brief second to acknowledge the grief in his heart. Kagura would and had done everything she could for their child. Even as he took to the air, hurtling back towards Osaka and safety, she was fighting her own father to keep Kisekimaru safe. He only hoped that she would still be alive when he returned to get her.

And he would return. Whether it was to collect a corpse or retrieve a dying, but still breathing Kagura, he would return to Himura Estate. For if Naraku still lived after fighting with Kagura, he would take his own payment out of the retched demon. It was to be a payment in blood, for there was no other reparation that could be made otherwise.

Especially if Kagura died for him.

Pushing the grief and anger aside, Sesshomaru focused on the present, on speeding back towards Osaka faster than he had headed north. He wanted Kisekimaru safely ensconced in his home, tucked securely in his room with Rin to keep him company.

When he transformed back to his solid body, he noticed that his pup had lost consciousness. Since he could smell no injury beyond a few bruises, he assumed it was the shock finally proving too much for the small body in his arms. He hugged the form close to him, burying his nose in the dirty silver locks, so like his own.

Because he was so young, Kisekimaru's scent was still a mix of Kagura's and his own.

It brought the grief to the fore once more, but he shoved it aside once more. Sesshomaru moved swiftly into his apartment building, taking the stairs four at a time. He slammed open his apartment door when he appeared before it, hearing a startled squeak from within. As he entered and swept down the hall towards Rin's room, he was pleased to see her door still closed as he had left it. He could hear her hard breathing and rabbit-swift heartbeat on the other side.

"Rin," He called, even as he opened the door. She leapt from where she had settled on her bed. In her hands was clutched the plush toy that was Kisekimaru's.

"Is he ok?" Her voice shook. Sesshomaru paid it little heed as he strode to her bed, tugging back the covers of her large bed to deposit his pup beneath them. His small body was still trembling.

"He is just sleeping." He lied, golden eyes locking onto her own brown ones. "You will need to stay with him while I return for Miss Kagura." Rin's eyes widened even as she nodded, scrambling onto the bed. She settled herself under the covers as well, huddled as close to Kisekimaru as she could. He was relieved to see Kisekimaru's trembling decrease a bit when her hand clutched at his.

"Stay here." He reiterated once more, waiting until Rin had nodded before taking the familiar path out of his apartment and to the street below.

As soon as he hit the pavement, he transformed. He pushed himself recklessly fast across land and sea, racing back to the estate where he had left Kagura fighting, likely for her life if the blood she had spilled on Kisekimaru was any indicator.

When the land came into view once more, he was dismayed to find the storage building utterly destroyed. Transforming back to his solid state, his golden eyes bled swiftly to red as he searched for her. A tentacle shot into the sky from the rubble of the building, drawing his attention to its target.

His heart almost stopped at the sight of the bloodied and completely red stained feather it aimed for.

He had only taken a step when the feather managed to twist away, but not swiftly enough. Horror ripped through him as he saw the feather's rider thrown from her seat and hurtling towards the ground. He was streaking towards her before he had even thought to bring forth any of his defenses. In his haste to reach her and Kisekimaru, he had left Tenseiga and Bakusaiga where they were stored behind his desk.

She landed in his arms with a sickening squelch. The blood that had coated Kisekimaru absolutely drenched Kagura. Her own scent of clean, crisp wind was drowned by the strength of the smell of her blood. She felt slick against his hands, some of the blood sticking his fingers to her skin. Even the minimal jolt of his landing caused her to whimper and gurgle in pain.

"Sesshomaru." The taunting voice of Naraku, _her father_, called to him, inciting his rage. "So you did show up. And I was so certain you would simply leave her to die after she had managed to let her little bastard escape." There was a bit of rage and bitterness in his voice at that admission, and a swell of pride lifted Sesshomaru's heart as he gazed at the valiant demoness in his arms for a moment more.

Her ruby eyes were heavily lidded, barely visible and glazed with pain and blood loss. They were still fascinating to him, even in this state. For a moment, he saw them clear and focus on him. He read the relief in them as she recognized him, just as he recognized the surrender there as well. That emotion made him want to shake her, convince her not to give up. Kisekimaru was waiting at home for her, for _them_.

As gently as he could manage, Sesshomaru placed her on the ground. She whimpered when her leg jostled, but he couldn't try to relieve her pain. With fury flaring in his chest, he whirled to face Naraku. He could feel his beast roaring louder than ever, screaming and howling to be released, to be allowed retribution for its pup and his bearer. For once, he didn't bother trying to reign in his beast.

Sesshomaru roared as his beast shattered its cage, and he _transformed_.

* * *

The pain was almost blinding.

When Naraku had collapsed the building, furious that she had managed to let her baby escape, she had taken a lot of damage. The cut on her side had widened, stretching almost completely across her back. Some of the bone that had shattered in her leg was protruding from her skin. The acid brand on her back stung and throbbed in equal measures. Her head was light, the harsh slap of her winds one of the only things keeping her from slipping into unconsciousness. Flying high above her father, she pushed her weakened control to its limits dodging the enraged tentacles that aimed to strike and skewer her.

Tired ruby eyes scanned the field as she maneuvered, relieved to find no trace of her baby in it. So Sesshomaru had already come and taken him away. That was one more weight off her shoulders. The final one would only fall away when she watched the light leave her father's eyes and the breath fade from his body.

Her fan, the delicate paper somewhat torn, made it difficult to control the winds as she usually would with its aid. Still, she sent blades of wind towards him with the best of her ability. She no longer cared for the miasma that spewed from each wound that appeared on tentacles. Her Dance of the Dragon was out of her reach, her fan too damaged for such delicate wind work. All she could do was hope that one of her blades would get through the mass of tentacles protecting her father and cut him apart.

One blade sliced a tentacle near its base and the others recoiled in shock and pain. Kagura couldn't stop the smirk that graced her face, even through the pain of the movement. As she floated high above the field below, she noticed a ball of light speeding towards the estate. Her heart stopped for a moment when she realized that Sesshomaru had returned.

Ruby eyes followed the ball until it transformed into Sesshomaru standing in the field far below her. Disbelief made her grip on her fan slack.

Her moment of inattention cost her.

Naraku shot a tentacle toward her, one she noticed at the last moment. She managed to twist most of her body and feather out of the way, but the tentacle clipped the tail end of her transport. She couldn't muster the fear as she fell from her seat and hurtled toward the ground.

The few seconds of free fall seemed to stretch into infinity.

Her feather grew further away from her, wheeling wildly in the air once it was directionless and riderless. Vaguely, she noticed it was no longer its normal, pure white as it spiraled away. She could only think that it matched Sesshomaru's eyes when he was angry and they bled red with his fury. There was no sound as she fell, just the sight of her feather getting farther away.

Time seemed to catch up with her when she landed. As the cut across her side and back was brushed and she tried to scream, she saw silvery strands flicker into her sight. It took long seconds to realize that Sesshomaru, _Sesshomaru_, had caught her. The slight jostling of his landing sent a blinding wave of pain through her. Her vision blacked and sounds grew distant in the face of the pain caused by her leg jostling and his arm pressing hard into her cut.

When her sight returned, she could only see Sesshomaru's face.

Sweet relief swept through her body like a tidal wave as she truly _recognized_ that he was there. Every part of her screamed surrender now that she knew he was there to take up the battle in her stead. His eyes were a glowing, swirling mix of livid crimson and soothing gold. They were all she could see, even as her vision partially blacked again as a wave of pain rolled through her from leg.

When he turned from her, she finally let herself close her eyes.

She would rest. Now that Sesshomaru had come, she could let him fight the battle she had begun. As Kagura slipped into darkness, the last thing she heard was a wrathful roar that promised blood, pain, and retribution. She couldn't have stopped the smile that graced her face if she had tried.

* * *

It wasn't like anything he had felt before.

His control, that he had worked long and hard for, was always employed, even when he used his more bestial forms. Seeing the surrender in Kagura's eyes had torn that from him, leaving him at the mercy of his beast. For once though, feeling the unhindered rage and the power that came with it, he couldn't say he was displeased with his lack of control.

To the contrary, it felt immensely _freeing_.

Shaking himself once his transformation was complete, Sesshomaru could feel the acid dripping from his jaws at the smug look on Naraku's face. He roared, the sound coming from deep within his bones. His freed beast screamed for blood, pain, and most of all, retribution. From deep within himself, Sesshomaru could only support what it wanted.

He felt distant, once he let the beast within have full control. It was like watching a movie play out from his point of view.

He heard the words Naraku used to taunt him, but they sounded so far away. Each movement felt almost sluggish, even while he watched the scenery and his foe move rapidly. It made vindictive pleasure course through him when he realized his beast was only playing with Naraku. The worst had yet to even begin.

And so he sat back and watched, for once content to let the events play out before him without any interference from him. Kisekimaru was safely at home, Kagura was protected at least by his massive bulk, and Naraku was walking to his doom, whether or not the other demon realized it.

He spotted the beginning of the end when Naraku flinched at one of the hits he managed to land. The foul miasma still spewed forth, but he was satisfied to see that it wasn't as thick or potent as it had been earlier. His focus on the battle sharpened as he watched for more signs of weakness. It was to a wave of malevolent satisfaction that he saw they began showing up more and more as the fight progressed.

It was when Naraku physically buckled that he sent a sharp command to the beast in charge that the time to play with their victim was over. It roared again, pouncing on the disadvantaged demon before it. They both felt vengeful pleasure when Naraku had to grit his teeth to keep from screaming when drips of acid began eating away at him.

When his beast began to rip him apart, one limb at a time, Sesshomaru knew he was well pleased with how Naraku would meet his end.

Minutes later, the beast relinquished its control with a low growl of satisfaction. As he transformed back to his more humanoid form, Sesshomaru could no longer feel Naraku at all, no matter that he was standing over his prone and thankfully dead form. As he rushed back into control, a thought that had escaped him as he let the beast fight came flooding back, with enough force to almost stagger him.

Kagura had lain bleeding behind him, and he had let the beast take it's time to punish and kill Naraku. With a heavy sense of panic, he rushed to where she lay, her eyes closed. For a moment, he worried that he had left her to die.

The sight of her chest stutteringly rising was enough to make him grateful that he still had time. He wasted not a second more of it as he scooped her up and transformed, hoping only that he had enough left to make it back to Osaka and to the hospital he trusted.

* * *

A/N- Don't you guys just love my recent cruel streak? Probably not. Anyhoo, this one practically wrote itself. The next chapter is already begun and I'm pretty sure we only have one, maybe two chapters left now that this one is out. We're getting to where I had planned the ending, though we'll see if the players agree to get there. As always, thank you so much for all of your reviews and sticking through with this story. I love you all for it.


	22. Hope, Fear, and the Future

**Chapter Twenty-One**

The hospital felt painfully sterile.

The walls pressed in around him, making his eyes bleed dangerous red. Rin and Kisekimaru were asleep on either side of him, worn at the long day it had turned out to be. He sought out the clock, almost growling when he realized hardly more than five minutes had passed since he had last check it. It was nearing midnight, and Kagura still hadn't come out of surgery.

One of the surgeons had come, only an hour after she had been rushed into surgery, to warily tell him that had he brought her only a few minutes later, there likely wouldn't have been anything they would have been able to do. He had stood, silently berating himself, before nodding to the doctor and returning to his worried children. He had gotten them the moment he had been able to do so.

Kisekimaru had been checked over, but had been found to simply be exhausted from the whole ordeal. He had been released into Sesshomaru's care with the instructions that he receive rest and comfort for the next few weeks as he dealt with what happened to him. Rin had simply been relieved to have her brother back and to learn that they were working on making Miss Kagura better.

With a growling sigh, Sesshomaru fought down the urge to prowl through the corridors of until he found Kagura. His beast was discontent with the situation, but he kept it firmly caged. It was the thing's own fault that they were in the situation they were. To soothe them both, he pulled Kisekimaru closer and took a deep breath.

Kagura's clean scent of a crisp wind immediately reached his nose, twined so closely with his own scent that it was hard to remember that she was simply the bearer of his heir and nothing more. His beast rumbled its discontent with this notion, but he once more paid it no heed. He could do nothing until it was determined whether or not Kagura would survive the numerous surgeries she would need to continue living.

A small part of him longed to return to his home, his office, to retrieve Tenseiga from its place of decoration. He hadn't needed to use it in centuries. Another part of him tried to reassure that doing so wouldn't be necessary. All of him just wanted Kagura to return to him and his pup alive.

"You must be Sesshomaru." The voice startled him, causing his grip on his children to tighten and his lips to lift a bit in warning. His red tinged eyes looked up at who had spoken.

At first glance, Sesshomaru thought it to be a woman, dressed in somewhat more traditional garb than was normally seen. His nose quickly corrected him, alerting him to the fact that it was a male demon that stood before him, and a fairly strong one at that.

"And who are you?" He all but growled. It was to his chagrin that the lightly painted lips of the demon quirked up in amusement.

"Nintai Jakotsu." He said, nodding.

"One of Kagura's friends." Sesshomaru muttered, watching as the smile on the man's face grew and he nodded again. "How do you know who I am?" The demon laughed, a high, flute-like sound that wasn't overly unpleasant.

"For one, you have Kisekimaru snuggled up to you." He explained, taking steps towards them. "For another, he's the spitting image of you, and Kagura's always lamented that. It helps that you're also a famous business tycoon." Jakotsu's smile was teasing as he took a seat on the other side of Kisekimaru. Sesshomaru couldn't help the strangled growl that escaped when the man reached out to pet Kisekumaru's silvery hair. Jakotsu just laughed.

"Relax," He soothed, continuing the motion. "I've known that child all his life; this helps when he's stressed." He gestured down to Kisekimaru's sleeping form, and, Sesshomaru was reluctant to admit, his body was more relaxed than it had been before. No part of him wanted to acknowledge that this man, this stranger to him, knew more about his pup than he did. Part of the bitterness he had felt towards Kagura returned.

"Don't make that face." Jakotsu chided, making Sesshomaru immediately blank his features as best he could with his bitter beast closer to the surface than he would like. "You not knowing Kisekimaru is as much your own fault as it is Kagura's. I never approved of her hiding him from you, but obviously her fears that you would snatch him away were well founded." There was a note of anger and scolding in the other demon's voice and Sesshomaru almost couldn't believe the audacity and impudence he was being shown.

While humans may not have known and recognized the hierarchy of demons, he knew that all demons in Japan were well aware of and adhered to it just as they had in the days of old. That this lesser demon dared chide him at all was preposterous.

"What are you doing here?" He finally ground out, knowing that Kagura would not be expressly pleased with him were he to injure one of her admittedly few friends.

"My Bankotsu is still in the hospital and I've bullied my way into staying with him." He admitted freely. "I could sense when you showed up with Kagura though; I've always been able to know when she was close by." This perplexed Sesshomaru a bit, but he brushed it off as unimportant. He recognized that Kagura would be more comfortable knowing that her friends were nearby during her recovery.

The pair of them sat in silence, Sesshomaru still intermittently watching the clock. He tried to ignore the way Jakotsu had kept running his hand through Kisekimaru's hair, but it was difficult when it was the movement in the room beyond his children's breathing. Still, he kept his mouth shut.

It was closer to one in the morning when a doctor strolled into the room. Sesshomaru immediately sat at attention, noticing vaguely that Jakotsu mirrored his movement. The doctor quickly made his way towards them.

"She's done with her operations." He said once he was close, causing relief to rush through Sesshomaru. "Right now, she'll be up in the private room. We don't expect her to wake up any time soon, considering the amount of shock her body had been in, but she should be awake before this time next week." Those words brought some of the stress back into his bones, but he was still glad that she was alive at all.

"When can others visit her?" Jakotsu asked, drawing away the doctor's immediate attention. Sesshomaru was tempted to bar him from the room, but refrained.

"Normal visiting hours I suppose." The doctor replied, his eyes drifting over to Sesshomaru for confirmation. He grudgingly nodded his head, once more recognizing that Kagura wouldn't appreciate him keeping out some of her only friends.

"Then I'll be there in the morning." Jakotsu replied cheerfully, before rising to his feet once again. "I suppose we'll be seeing much more of each other then, Sesshomaru." He waved with a smile and a wink before retreating out of the waiting room. Sesshomaru just barely managed to keep from growling at him as he walked away.

"Thank you for your update." He ground out after a few more moments of quiet. The doctor nodded, before bowing and making his excuses to leave. Sesshomaru paid them little attention as he turned his gaze down to the two children sleeping on either side of him.

After a long moment of thought, he decided on letting them sleep. Instead, he shifted them so he could carry them both before striding out of the waiting room to the room he had settled for Kagura. While they would be asleep, he knew the two of them would want to be close to her when they woke up and realized that she was still alive.

If he admitted quietly to himself that he wanted to see for himself she was still alive, no one else had to know.

* * *

This darkness was one she knew. She knew it almost intimately. The gusts of wind buffeted against her, but she could feel no harm or malevolent intent. It was soothing, and she let herself drift in the darkness that was so comforting.

On a distant level, she knew what the darkness meant. She was hurt, badly so. The injury had been enough to cause her to retreat into the core of herself in hopes of dying without pain.

When she had been young and reckless, fights with Naraku had often put her into this state. She had learned to respect her father, just as he learned to respect her the same way.

A small memory from before the darkness came back, fighting against her father. The sensation of the defeat and desperation tinged the memory, and she wondered if she was truly only steps away from her death. She couldn't really remember why she had been fighting with him, only that she had. Part of her scoffed, berating her for her foolishness. Naraku had always been stronger than her; she knew she was only fighting to put off her defeat.

From far above her, Kagura noticed a throb. Her distant thoughts and feelings suddenly seemed closer. Looking up, she saw something in the far darkness. Over the sounds of the howling winds, she could hear something, something that didn't belong in the darkness.

Her curiosity was piqued. Usually she was abruptly pulled from the dark, with no warning or preparation. This was out of place, an anomaly. She floated up towards it, her control unmatched within the core of her being. As she went, she didn't notice the pain that was building the closer she got.

At the edge of the curiosity that had inserted itself into her darkness, Kagura examined it as best she could with her mind so distant. The prickle of pain asserted itself, but she paid it little heed. She was much more focused on figuring out what had shown up in her demonic core. As she studied the strange and dark shape, the noises she had heard down below came through much louder.

She blinked when the voice of a child, obviously near to tears, sliced through the darkness and her distant apathy.

All at once, the darkness exploded into light, sound, _sensation_.

Everything seemed to overwhelm her all at once. Her body hummed and screamed with pain, certain parts crying out louder than the others. The heart wrenching sound of her baby, _her Kisekimaru_, crying made her heart ache more than anything else. Through the pain, she worked to pry open her eyes. When she succeeded, more stinging pain was her reward, and she snapped her eyes shut with a hiss.

Suddenly the crying sound stopped, and only an insistent and steady beeping could be heard. She was vaguely curious as to what had caused the sudden cease in sound. It was a few moments later that her mind caught up with her and informed her of her ascent into awareness.

"K-Kisekimaru…" She croaked, the words rasping painfully against her throat. Though her eyes were still closed, the half swallowed sob that answered her told her exactly where her baby was. "Come h-here." She forced out despite the pain. Immediately, she felt pressure against the right side of her body, making a spike of agony wash through her. The familiar feel of her baby pressed against her was more than enough to let her ignore it.

"Ama, Ama." He choked out through sobbing gasps. "Ama, Ama, Ama…" It was a mantra, and it soothed Kagura's soul and hurts like no medicine ever could. She clutched him as close as she could, not caring a whit for the pain or the tears she felt welling up behind her closed lids. Even as they spilled out across her cheeks, she couldn't bring herself to care. Her baby was back, safe in her arms, and that meant all was right in her world.

"Kagura." And just like that, her perfect world shattered. The cold voice of Sesshomaru thrust into the forefront of her mind the contract she had signed, the obligations she was bound by, and the way her baby wasn't her own anymore. It pushed the tears out faster, made her clutch Kisekimaru to her body harder. Her thoughts raced, desperately trying to find a way to deny the memories that were staring her in the face.

"My baby, you're all right." She whispered, treasuring the feel of her baby's silken hair against her cheek and lips. The sensation made a giddy sort of warmth spread through her, invigorating her limbs just a little bit more so she could hold him just a little bit closer. "You're safe now, no one will take you, ever again." The last words were muttered out of spite, knowing that Sesshomaru would be able to hear them. She wanted to put up some resistance, even as she knew Sesshomaru would once again secret her baby away from her.

"Finally awake Kagura?" The familiar voice of Jakotsu broke through Kisekimaru's chanting. She forced her eyes open and could see his familiar if blurry figure standing at the door.

"Yup." She rasped, squinting when the lights became too much for her handle with her eyes wide. She saw him move and the lights dimmed a bit, much to her relief.

"Really Sesshomaru." The man chided as he approached her bedside. "You could have turned the lights dimmer yourself when you noticed it was hurting her eyes." She resisted the urge to smirk at the familiar and welcome snark of her best friend. The dimmer room allowed her vision to clear, and she could see all those that occupied her room with her.

Rin sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs against the wall, the bright look on her face belied by the redness of her eyes and nose. Kisekimaru was pressed tightly up to her, thankfully within the circle of her arms one more. Jakotsu had approached to settle himself on her bed, perched as daintily as he ever was by her side. He smiled kindly down at her, hand reaching to smooth her hair.

The low growl of Sesshomaru paused his hand and drew her attention to him. He stood imperiously before the window, midday sun lighting parts of his figure. His eyes, normally a calm gold, were flushed with red and narrowed in warning. For a moment, she was confused at the aggressive and angry posture.

"Calm down." Jakotsu said flippantly, his hand continuing its path to card through her hair. "I'm not invading on your territory or whatever it is your beast is telling you I'm doing." There was a note of smugness and teasing that drew a pained smile from Kagura, knowing that he was riling Sesshomaru up on her behalf. She pushed her head into his fingers as much as she could, aiding his rebellion.

"How is Bankotsu?" She questioned after a few minutes of tense silence. Jakotsu pulled his eyes from his staring contest with Sesshomaru to smile down at her.

"He's pissed as hell." He said brightly. "He can't believe that you went to face Naraku, by yourself, without telling anyone where you were going. He's also torn between wringing your neck himself and locking you in the apartment and throwing away the key." Kagura huffed in nervous laughter, unsure if he was teasing or telling the truth. With Bankotsu and Jakotsu, she could never _really_ tell.

"I'll have to make it up to him with extra shifts." She replied, putting up another smile just for him. Jakotsu nodded and pulled his hand from her hair, standing.

"Now, as I understand it," He began, gently grasping Kisekimaru's clinging limbs, "You and Sesshomaru have some things to talk about, and the kiddies need some lunch." Kagura cringed, clutching at her son as he tried to pull him away. Jakotsu sent her a hard glare, and she reluctantly loosened her grip on her precious baby.

"Only for lunch?" She muttered. When he nodded, she finally let her fingers go. Kisekimaru's ruby eyes bored into her as he was gently drawn away, and she squeezed his hand comfortingly. "Only for lunch." She promised, smiling at him. He searched her face for a long moment before he too let go and allowed Jakotsu to spirit him to Rin and out the door.

She couldn't take her eyes off them until they disappeared out the door and out of her sight. The moment he was gone, she felt the hole in her chest that had been filled suddenly empty once more. She tried to ignore it, but she the only other thing she could focus on was the awkward tension between her and Sesshomaru.

"Kagura. We do need to talk." For a moment, she thought about refusing to look at him, refusing even acknowledge he was in the room, but she knew that she had to keep him happy, if only to keep the contract the same.

"I don't see what about." She murmured, letting her gaze slide over to him. The red had receded from his eyes somewhat, but she tried not to cringe at the remaining color. It couldn't bode well for her.

"We need to discuss the contract." There was no stopping the flinch at his words. The sinking feeling in her chest made her feel hollow.

"Do what you want." She said, bringing a shaking hand to her forehead. Even though the movement was more tiring than it was worth, she kept it there, not wanting to look him in the eyes. "I know that, especially after this, you probably think I'm not fit to take care of him. Hell, I could hardly take care of myself." Her words were bitter and laden with self-loathing, but she couldn't bring herself to care anymore.

She knew, she just _knew_ that Sesshomaru would find another reason to keep her baby from her. Even though he had been surprisingly tolerant of her inability to recollect during the investigation, he had never been one to tolerate failure. And, in the end, she had failed.

Sure, she had managed to free Kisekimaru from the clutches of her father, but she had done so at what would have been the cost of her life if Sesshomaru hadn't intervened. Hell, if she hadn't been able to reach Sesshomaru by phone, it was likely she would have gotten Kisekimaru recaptured and killed after she was killed herself. The loathing she felt towards herself was, she was sure, nothing compared to what Sesshomaru had to be feeling towards her.

What else would explain the way his eyes were still bled red?

* * *

The sheer defeat in her posture almost staggered him.

In all his memories, she had always been fiery and lively, even when he had oppressed her with the damned contract. Even beaten, bloodied, and bruised at Himura Estate, she hadn't given off such a sense of weariness as she was now. His beast growled, wanting to rid the emotion from her even though it knew he was the cause.

"I don't think that." He managed to force out, though the words had a rough edge to them that, he was dismayed to see, caused another flinch. For a moment, he worried that even his desire to bring her into Kisekimaru's life once more wouldn't be enough to make amends for what he had put her through. Despite that fear, he pressed on and tried to soften his next words. "I was going to offer something else." A small part of him was still afraid to make his new proposal, not wanting to seem weak or in the wrong. He was Sesshomaru; he was always right!

"Like what?" One dull ruby eye peaked out from under her hand, and a pang went through his heart. He hated to see her so weak before him. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he had to shove them out against most of nature.

"I would like you to live with me and take care of both Rin and Kisekimaru." He managed to say, words still slightly rough but definitely better than before. As he looked into her eye, it was a punch in the gut to see the pain there.

"Very funny." She spat, hardly any venom in the words. "What do you really want?" Sesshomaru shook his head, taking steps towards her bed. The wariness and mistrust stung him, but he knew he deserved it with all the things he had done to her in the course of the acquaintance.

"That is what I really want." He whispered once he was stood by her side. His gaze drifted from her own at his next statement. "I was… wrong to take Kisekimaru from you as I did. I know now how you felt when he was gone." He didn't want to see how she took his admission, and so let his eyes focus on the clean white of her bed sheets.

The silence between them was thick, and he was almost tempted to start fidgeting in an attempt to distract himself from it. The decision was out of his hands, even if he knew Kagura would want to be near Kisekimaru. If she asked to see Kisekimaru but not be near him, Sesshomaru knew he would bend to whatever she wanted. It was the least he could do as reparation for the harm he had done.

Seeing his pup sobbing over the unconscious form of his mother had made him realize that Kagura wasn't the only one he had hurt when he had separated mother and son.

"You're not just saying this?" She said after a long silence. His gaze darted to her own of its own volition, desperate to see the ruby he was so fascinated with. It was shining with a small and wary hope. "Truly, you want me to help raise them both?" The trembling note of fragility made his hands and heart clench with guilt, but he nodded.

"Truly." For endless moments, she just looked him in the eyes. He felt like she was pinning down every part of him and casting judgement, but all he could do was stand before it with no defense beyond his past actions.

After God knew how long, he was beyond relieved to see her face gentle in a weak and watery smile. The hand that been squeezing and constricting his heart suddenly let go as he saw her answer in her eyes before she even spoke a word.

"Of course I will." She murmured, but he was almost too overjoyed to care that she verbally acquiesced. He could _feel_ the redness receding from his eyes, all tension and worry draining from his body in a crushing wave.

"Good." Was the only thing he could think to say. Kagura gave him a tired but warm smile before a yawn split her face. "You should rest more. You need it." She nodded sleepily, settling deeper into her covers.

"Wake me when Kisekimaru gets back." She whispered as she drifted into an exhausted sleep. He couldn't help himself as he memorized the expression of serenity on her face.

"I will."

* * *

A/N- And we're done guys. Holy crap. I can't believe I actually finished this. First ever finished story and over 50k! Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with me through the long dry spells. Thanks especially to those who continued to review, despite my erratic updating over the years. It was so encouraging to see that people were still waiting for an update and that got me through a lot of blocks. I know this ending seems really shit, and there was supposed to be a sequel, but that will never happen now. I am not as in love with Kagura and Sesshomaru as I was when I first started this. A lot of things I had set up to be resolved in the sequel will stay unresolved because it won't happy. I'm sorry about that, but I don't want to put you guys through another round of update and wait years like I did with this.

Thanks and much love, TheQuietMachine.


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